5 Signs Dating Apps Are Draining Your Emotional Energy
Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, or a combination of the two, spending a lot of time swiping through random profiles can take an emotional toll.
Getting sucked into the world of dating apps drains your emotional energy because it takes the humanity out of love.
You’d rather stay at home than go out and socialize.
This one is kind of obvious, but a dead giveaway nonetheless. When your phone or laptop takes priority of your social life, you know you have a social media problem. It’s socially acceptable and a widely common practice to make plans only to cancel the day of (I’m personally guilty of this many times), but that doesn’t make it right just because everyone else is doing it too.
If you prefer to sit on the couch or stay in bed swiping and scrolling, you’ve probably detached yourself from the real emotions of falling in love or getting to know someone on a face-to-face level. When you start to feel exhausted by the thought of going out and meeting people in person, dating apps have hurt your ability and energy to make genuine human connections.
You try to please everyone.
This is ironically the reason why you’d rather stay in. When you try to maintain harmony amongst your friends, family, dates, and everyone else in your life, you couldn’t possibly meet everyone’s expectations. Trying to please everyone is mentally and emotionally stressful and incredibly tiring.
On an app, it’s painless and easy to respond to 10 or more people at a time and keep entertaining conversations going, or even just joke around and casually throw around plans to hang out. Could you imagine trying to plan and execute every plan or date that you made with people on the dating apps? So instead of trying to make plans with friends and family and dates and keep it all going, you give it all up and stay home instead.
You religiously pick apart and breakdown text conversations.
Talking to a virtually endless stream of potential boyfriends or hookup buddies or whatever can be tiring, and after a while, all of the conversations blur into each other. What’s worse is that when you’re actually serious about meeting someone, you start to pick apart every single conversation to figure out if this guy is for real or not. The problem with dating apps is that you can’t ever really know a person. You only meet the idea of what that person wants to portray on the other side of the screen.
Searching for a shred of sincerity or chemistry in text on a screen exhausts the mind because you will never really find what you ultimately desire. There’s no human connection in the text on a screen, and constantly analyzing the painfully subtle details of a conversation only leads to mental fatigue and emptiness.
You maintain a relationship with someone you don’t really like.
Anyone who’s ever used a dating app has been there—there’s one person you kept texting week after week, month after month, and never really intended to meet in person. But somehow, they stick around and you’ve grown so comfortable to get their “good morning :)” texts that it’s more painful to end it than it is to keep up the act.
You’re at a point where dating apps have taken a toll, and it’s taken the romance and excitement and novelty out of meeting new people. The thought of striking up a conversation in person sounds too cumbersome and too draining than it is to maintain a relationship with someone you have never met and will never meet.
You let other people decide what you want in a relationship.
Keeping up dead-end conversations is mentally taxing, and by the time you establish some sort of functioning relationship, the last thing you end up doing is what you want for yourself. It was so much work and took so much effort to get to this point with another person, that you’d rather go along with whatever he likes or wants than speak up about yourself. That’s how it goes when you’re just texting back and forth—if one of you suggests something that just isn’t appealing to the other, it’s easy and painless to end the conversation. But then, you have to dive back in with 50 other possible dates and figure out who’s compatible with you.
Dating apps have taken an emotional toll on you if you can’t bring yourself to suggest date ideas or movies or food that you want. You go along with your new guy to keep him around because it takes less effort to go with the flow than to risk speaking up and finding out if you’re not truly compatible and starting over from square one.