Life is full of painful moments, but having your heart broken is one of the most devastating. Of course, there are numerous other, much worse things that can happen to you, but in the moment, you are experiencing a heartache—you can’t imagine anything being more painful. There does not exist a person in this world who didn’t go through some kind of a heartbreak. Sometimes, we can’t even function properly because of the all-consuming sadness we feel when our hearts get broken.

No matter how hard you try to fight it, the truth is that you’ll get your heart broken sooner or later. But don’t take it so tragically, trust me, you’ll get over it.

There are people who dedicate their lives to running away from love because of the fear that they’ll end up sad and desperate when that love comes to an end. Others go with the flow and try to see where life will take them. Either way, you never know how you’ll end up, and either way, you have the same possibility of having your heart broken. And it’s not something to be terrified of—it’s all part of life and it can be a valuable lesson and experience.

Sometimes, having your heart broken in love can be the best thing that could ever happen to you. This situation can show you how strong you really are and that you are actually able to endure the pain you could never imagine being able to survive. It can also help you learn what it is that you want or don’t want from life.

But the most important thing you will learn after a heartbreak is that you can’t control how other people behave. You can be the most careful person in the world and you can think you found someone safe to love, but the truth is that you can never know and can never be completely safe. So, why should you bother and why should you spend your life trying to predict other people’s behavior? Remember that the only person you can have an effect on is yourself. You decide how you deal with people, how much you let them in your life, and most importantly, how you handle yourself when someone tries to hurt you.

When a heartbreak happens to you, you have two choices. You can be a prisoner of that heartbreak and of the person that caused it, or it can set you free and you can see it as a chance to get better things in life.

The one of the options is that you allow yourself to become a bitter person, full of anger, resentment, and negative emotions. You can lose your trust in people and in the opposite sex completely, and you can become a closed person with strong walls around you. You might decide you’ll never give yourself to another man again and you can promise yourself you’ll never again put anyone else’s needs in front of your own. You may decide to give up on love in general. You can make yourself clear that you don’t want to be a sensitive empath anymore and that you’ll just be worried about your own problems and needs. You might think that if you behave in this manner, it would mean you are a strong, independent individual, but it actually shows something totally the opposite. It shows that you are scared and more weak than you think. Everything you do, you do out of fear. You are terrified that you’ll allow yourself to be heartbroken again, and therefore, you decided it’s a better idea not to put anyone in your life and in your heart. Because if you don’t love anyone, how can you be heartbroken when they leave you or hurt you? But, as it was already said, you can never know what awaits for you. First of all, it’s practically impossible to reprogram your personality. No matter how much you try, that sensitive little girl, ready to fight the world because of the person she loves, will stay buried somewhere deep inside of you. By closing yourself, you’ll stop fighting the people around you by simply not giving them access to your life, but you’ll begin a constant fight with yourself, and there is nothing more difficult than that.

And what is the point of life without love anyway? Yes, you may try to protect yourself from the possibility of getting hurt and experiencing negative emotions related to love, but be aware of one thing: at the same time, you’ll protect yourself from all of the positive emotions and wonderful moments that love brings. You’ll never be able to choose what emotions you expose yourself to. If you shut yourself from the pain, you also shut yourself from joy.

So, when you get your heart broken, the best option is to use it in the best possible way and perceive it as a valuable lesson. Sadly, in modern days, people who are suffering from love are considered weak and too sensitive and are looked down on. But actually, those are the strongest individuals. They are strong enough to confront their true selves and their pain, which is admirable. When you don’t try to bury your pain and you let it loose, you are actually fighting it the best way possible. You are dealing with it on time and are not waiting for the moment when it will let itself free. Because, trust me, you can pretend that this pain doesn’t exist, but it will catch you sooner or later. And it can be when you least expect it. You may think you’ve forgotten about your heartbreak long ago, but bitterness and negativity which stays if you don’t deal with it on time will haunt you for a while and you can’t escape it, no matter how hard you try.

The best and the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to act in the manner that suits you the best in the moment. Forget about feeling weak and forget about anyone else. You are the only one who can help yourself. Every break up and heartbreak is tough and there is no need for anyone to claim anything differently. So, if you feel the need to be alone with your thoughts, do that. If you feel the need to cry and yell, cry and yell. If you think you’ll need a while before you put yourself back on the dating market, give yourself that time. Never rush yourself into anything, and do everything that makes you and only you feel better.

Every healing is a process and that goes for the healing of a broken heart as well. You can’t expect everything to be fixed overnight. If you think you are okay after a few days after you’ve had your heart broken, you are either lying to yourself or you weren’t heartbroken in the first place. You should allow your heart to heal. 

Of course, you can expect to face people who will tell you it’s about time to move on with your life and get over someone. But don’t let them discourage you. We all process things and emotions at a different pace. Never judge yourself for taking the time you need to be better.