At first, there was actually no answer to the question – why did you leave? She needed some time to realize how it is good because you are leaving. She didn’t see it at first, but now she knows that life is much better without you in it.
There is the fact that you slowed her down at any point in her life. You were her main boundary, no matter what she was about to do or say. She didn’t know what the true happiness is. She forgot it. Until you left, everything was just a lie. Life with you was a huge lie, just so it is mistake.
She was vulnerable and broken at first; at least she thought she was. She felt like she is deep down, with no self-respect and self-confidence. You made her feel weak through all the time you spent with her. You manipulated her, and she saw you as the most important person in her life. No matter what you wanted her to do, she would do it. She considered you as the center of her universe. The fact is, you were the weak one the whole time and she was much stronger than you.
After she wasn’t good enough for you anymore, you decided to leave her. You were pretending back then. You made a huge mistake, but you didn’t want to admit. So, all those stories of how much better it is without her in your life were actually lies. You said that you don’t want her or need her, but it was just pretend.
As it is expected, after you let her go, she was weak. She cried for so many days for losing you. It was very painful, because she truly loved you. She was afraid because she didn’t have plans for the future. You broke her heart, and the saddest thing about that is that she still loved you and missed you.
But as everything, time can heal all wounds, so she stopped crying. She opened her eyes and saw clearly that she was losing her precious time. Maybe somewhere out there was someone who is waiting for her. She felt better with every new day, until she noticed that she is ready to start over.
She is now aware that she is stronger than you have ever been. It is easier to handle every problem alone without you to manipulate or abuse her.
However you realized a little too late that you miss her. You left a girl who is smart and funny and who truly loved you above everything. You didn’t know back then, but you know now what you have lost. A mistake that you made by letting her go is irreparable, and mourning is immense.
Her presence annoyed you, but now you would give anything to bring her back again. You admit that you are stupid because you needed to prove to yourself you don’t need her nor love her.
Anyway, she can be thankful for your stupid move. She recovered and now she is smiling. She likes to hang out with people, she likes new acquaintances, her life and her surroundings. She became a better person, and she will never let someone torture or abuse her again.
What do you have after all? You failed, you are alone, and it is hard to find someone to manipulate again. Even though you tried to tell her that you miss her, she won’t ever take you back. Don’t expect her love and don’t mess around her again. Let her be happy, at least you can do that. You know that she really deserves to be loved and happy.
So, go and find yourself peace. At least try to be happy without pretending. Learn from your mistake and be happy for her. She has more strength than you will ever have.