When you get out of a relationship that got you good, you will not think of starting a new one for a while. When you’re like me, you will start avoiding it at all costs.
I finally found the way to see what people have been telling me all along. That I deserved better and I am really a great person to be with. It’s his problem that he couldn’t see it.
But now that I do see it, I am not willing to settle, no matter the cost. I’d rather be single forever, than go for someone I don’t see fit for me. I have so much to give, I am not settling for someone who will not give any of it back.
So, obviously, something has changed. And the longer I insist on avoiding a new relationship, more things start happening, that would never happen before. This is what changes after you’ve been single for a while:
Your reasons for staying single are a joke.
Like, you already married food. You can’t give up not having to fight for covers. Chocolate is way better than a man. You name it.
You look at recently single down your nose.
You seem to have forgotten the mess inside you when you first became single. Someone close to you is moping around even though they’ve only been single for a few months. Oh, get over it. Try two years.
You question guys’ motives all the time.
Why is he being nice to me? What’s he trying to do? It can’t be just an innocent attraction. There has to be some ulterior motive. Of course, he probably just wants sex. Wait, is he going to rob me?
You don’t have a problem with doing things alone anymore.
Like sitting at a coffee shop and reading a book instead of talking to someone. Going to see the movie on your own or taking a hike, because why not? You can’t wait on others forever. So, if you feel like eating at a new place you just discovered, you go by yourself. It’s a whole new level of confidence.
You might ”forget” to wax.
I am not bothered by my hair and no one else is gonna see it. So who am I doing it for exactly? It’s too cold for skirts and bare legs anyway.
You feel outdated.
You can’t really remember what you do on a date. How do you behave in a relationship? If you were to go on a date right now, you wouldn’t even know where people go out nowadays. Or what changed in the dating scene, because something must have changed.
You can’t remember the flirting.
Speaking of feeling outdated, how do you flirt again? Maybe you would have tried again sometimes if you could remember anything that isn’t from cheesy romantic movies and comedies you spent so much time mocking. Something about the bend and snap, that’s how you do it? Riiight?
You start enjoying being selfish.
You don’t have to spend time or money on anyone but yourself. No worrying what to get him for his birthday or the anniversary. You go wherever you want, whenever you want. No need to inconvenience yourself with waiting on anyone else or wondering if others will be fine with it. The only person you have to explain anything to is yourself.
You don’t get what all the fuss is about.
Wherever you look—books, movies, television shows, even in real life—everything is only about couples and finding a partner, and dreading the single life. What’s the problem with being on your own? It’s like everyone believes you can’t be happy that way. Look at you, you’re doing great.