We all know how narcissists use language differently. When a narcissist says these 10 phrases, they mean something totally different. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a narcissist knows how badly it can feel.
When a narcissist uses phrases that most people use in everyday conversations, they bear a far different meaning. Everything is different in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. It’s all about the narcissist. The whole world turns around them. They have a pleasure when they manipulate their partners. They will put down anyone just to feel awesome, just to feel important.
Narcissists suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity. But, when they are in a relationship, they abuse their partner so they can feel better.
If you’re dealing with a narcissist and want to decode what they really mean by a simple phrase, you’ll need to listen more to their actions than their words. When a narcissist’s words are translated into their actual meaning, the results are frankly disturbing.
When a narcissist says these 10 phrases, this is what they really mean:
(Written from the perspective of the narcissist.)
It’s not all about you.
When I say, “It’s not all about you,” I mean it’s all about me, I need attention. I can’t handle when you are the center of our conversation. If you ever mention your needs that I don’t fulfill, I’ll make you feel guilty and ashamed of having these needs in the first place. You can’t focus our conversation on someone who is not important, it has to be me. I’m the only one who is important!
You have trust issues.
I won’t ever admit it, but I am an untrustworthy person and I’ve shown you many times by betraying you. You should trust yourself and run, but it won’t happen. But if you leave, how could I have fun? I love making you doubt yourself and question your own sanity. You don’t know what is right or what is real unless I tell you.
You’re so jealous and insecure.
I love how you compete for my attention when I flirt with others in from of you. It makes me so desirable and powerful. I make you feel so diminished, and I know you’re never going to escape my grasp. You know how each suspect is real, but you know I am entitled to everything. You can’t do anything and you’re never going to leave me because you’re hooked up to this toxic relationship.
We’re just friends.
Whenever I get bored with you, I’m calling this person, and in case you leave, they can replace you. Maybe they are already acting as a valuable side piece. I’ll make sure you seem like the controlling one is you if you ever complain about my shady behavior with this person.
Well, you’re not crazy, but I just love to make you look like the crazy one. I love the power I have over you to humiliate and provoke you, and when you react I can say you act like the crazy. You don’t have anyone to complain about me, how I’m rageful or irrational because I already kicked out every person that meant something to you in your life. I’m the one who has the power over your life.
Actually, you have perfectly normal reactions to my bullshit, but you can’t catch on. Not now. I will make you doubt yourself. I will make you the one that is guilty. You need to trust me, not yourself! I will reap all the benefits while you’re working so hard to please me.
I love making you feel small and insignificant. Making you feel worse makes me feel better. I love the power you give to me to take the advantage of your kindness by exploiting your good intentions. I love how I make you feel horrible when you mention something I did that hurt you. And I just love the look of failure and disappointment on your face.
I’m sorry you feel that way.
I’m not sorry. This is just an argument so I can continue with my abusive behavior. I’m just sorry I got caught, not for what I did. I don’t care how you feel, I don’t care about your emotions. All I care about is to get what I want.
I love you.
I just want you to believe how I love you. But in fact, I love controlling you, I love using you. I love the fact that your life is all about me. You fix my problems, solve my issues, relieve my pain. I love how you take all your time for me, not for yourself. How you give attention to me only. I love how my happiness is your responsibility. I love how I feel when you’re around me, how you need me, and how you think you’re with the right person. How I made you feel unworthy and insignificant. When I say “I love you” it is not what love truly represents. When I say “I love you,” it means I love how you respect my rules and how you live by them.
You’ll never find someone like me.
It’s the best thing that could happen to you if you never find someone like me. There are many people out there who will treat you far better than I ever did. Anyone will treat you better than I did. But I don’t want that to ever happen and it won’t. You’re hooked up to this toxic relationship and me. You won’t leave.