From the time we first met, everything seemed so easy with you. We laughed and joked, we flirted and had fun. We led serious conversations and shared our thoughts with each other. And then you had to go and hurt me. You just had to break my heart.
After that, nothing was easy anymore. All I could do was cry, and cry, over you. Way too much crying, more than I ever did for others that broke my heart. But I am done with that. I will not do it anymore, because I’ve grown stronger since then. I’ve grown more aware of who you were and what I deserve.
I will not cry over you ever again, because you were never worth it to begin with.
First, because I have nothing more to cry out. My tears have dried out. I think I have spent enough of my time thinking about you and wishing you back. And I have spent too many nights crying myself to sleep with the thought of you. After all of that, I don’t want to shed a single tear again. Even though I’m pretty sure I couldn’t if I tried.
Also, I am done ruining my makeup for you. I paid too much for it and tried too hard to perfect my cat eye to let all go to waste for someone unworthy of my tears.
I spent a lot of my time thinking that it must have been something about me. It is the worst thing to think of yourself. That it’s your fault because you weren’t good enough.
But I know now that the heartbreak isn’t reserved only for the ”lower” among us. That things like that don’t happen only to women who weren’t seen as pretty enough, worthy enough, good enough. Because there are women out there that are absolute goddesses, but have been left and broken in the most unspeakable ways. It happens to everyone.
But let’s talk about consequences. You know how they say you should let it all out? Well, I did. Oh, I let it out. I cried because it felt a little better after that. Because it provided me some kind of relief. But then it crossed the line and became everything, but good for me. It started to take a toll on me, because all that thinking about you wasn’t helping me move on.
Even after I figured you out, even after I realized how bad you are. You are someone who will never realize how good I was to you. Someone who doesn’t know how to appreciate what is given to him, and you will never learn. You are someone who takes everything, but gives back nothing. And I’m done with that. I’m ready for someone who understands appreciation and giving back.
Another reason I’m done with you, with all this crying mess, is because I can see it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t undo any of your wrongdoings. It doesn’t cancel out my pain or those days I spent hurting. I can cry and cry as much as my eyes will allow it, this still happened. You still tore me to pieces, and nothing will change that. All I can do is accept it and learn from it.
Also, you don’t seem to give a damn. You don’t care how you hurt me, and you don’t even think about apologizing and trying to make amends. You don’t care that you lost me, that you lost us. Then why should I care about you? I have already wasted too much of my time doing that.
I will not cry over you anymore because I know now that it’s you who should be doing it. Chasing me away, you lost a woman that was in it for as long as her heart would beat. The one who would do anything for you. The woman who overlooked your flaws because you were perfect to her.
You should be crying, because the only one who lost here… is you. You can be sure no woman will see you and treat you like I did. No other woman is crazy enough to do that. Maybe stupid enough. But then, I wish you good luck if you run into one like that.
I am ready to move on, because being away from you has given me time to see that I deserve more from a man that I decide to let into my life. I deserve a kind man who will see no problem with showing me his love. A man who will not allow himself to take from me what he isn’t ready to give back.
I have a life, you know. I have friends and interests. And I have a career. I don’t have anything more to waste on missing you and suffering for you. I’d rather spend that energy on bettering the life I lead. I’d rather spend it on my friends and invest it in pursuing my life goals, in moving forward with my career.
I don’t need you to be happy. I know now how to make happiness for myself.