Modern dating can be hard and demanding. Unfortunately, it became perfectly normal and widely accepted for people not to be mutually exclusive in dating and to have more than one option in every type of relationship, including friendship and romantic relationships.

Who are these people and how can you recognize them? People who treat you like an option and not as a priority magically appear when they need something and when they don’t have anyone else to turn to. They actually don’t have anyone to keep them company, so basically everyone can work and everyone suits them. It’s okay to hang out with this type of person when you feel like it, but you can never expect them to be there for you if you need them, and you should be aware of that in every moment. These are the people who make everything about themselves, and every time they call you, somehow the conversation ends up revolving around them.

They are not interested in your life nor are they interested in your opinion about their problems. They just need someone, literally anyone, to listen to them going on and on about the same things. It’s not important for them who that person is, as long as they have someone to talk to. Don’t try to give advice to these people, it will be useless. They don’t need your advice, they are looking for someone who will tell them they are right and everyone around them is wrong.

Even after you listen to them numerous times in a row, they still won’t have the decency to hear you out when you are in some kind of life drama. They will always leave you hanging when something is important to you. They will never be there for you when you have some real life problems but will always appear out of nowhere when it’s time to celebrate something or to party. Although they expect you to be their forever shoulder to cry on, they will never hold your hand whenever you are the one feeling down.

The same is with boyfriends. Although you may not want to admit it to yourself, you’ll know when some guy is treating you like an option. He is holding you near himself until someone better and more suitable comes along. His job, his friends, literally everything is more important for him than you. He never wants to define your relationship and you know he is not committed and exclusive. You are constantly in an on and off relationship, and while this is happening, he is living his life to the fullest and it’s like he would feel the same with and without you.

On the other hand, he is the center of your world, you let years pass by you, waiting for him to choose you. While doing this, you forget how much you are worth, you forget to appreciate and respect yourself as a person and forget to value your time and energy. You probably tried to leave him more than once, and you saw that he wasn’t planning on chasing you. If a guy really likes you, you won’t ever feel the need to beg for his attention and you don’t have to ask him to choose you. So, choose yourself! If he is not treating you like a priority, he doesn’t love you, you are just convenient for him. The harsh truth you need to deal with is that he doesn’t care if you are around, because you are only an option for him and will never be a priority.

You know you deserve more and better when it comes to every type of relationship. You should never settle for less than being someone’s priority. And you should not try and explain anything to people who treat you like this, you should just make changes in your life, and if they don’t hear from you, it will be a sign they are one of these changes. They took advantage of you and your personality and relied on you always being there for them and giving them second chances. But it’s time to end it! It’s time to start appreciating yourself and putting yourself first. It’s time to pick yourself over anyone else and for you to become a priority for yourself.