When we look back on our past relationships, it’s not often that we have anything positive to say about our exes. It’s so rare to have an amicable break-up now, that it doesn’t even seem like it’s possible to. But it’s inevitable that some relationships just end because two people aren’t right for each other. When you look back after a break up, you want to still think of your ex as a good person. You want to be happy for them and remain friends. We all deserve to be loved by someone real, even if in the end, it doesn’t last. So what does someone real offer to a relationship?

They are honest about their feelings

Someone who is real will always let you know what’s going on inside their head. They’d never dream of hiding things from you, even if they don’t have anything positive to say. If it’s not going to work out in the long run, someone who is emotive and real will let you down gently and honestly. They probably still care a lot about you, and they would never want to hurt your feelings, or anyone else’s for that matter.

They argue back when they need to

Someone who is true to themselves and to you doesn’t feel the need to hold back during times of difficulty. If they believe they’re right in an argument, they’re not afraid to state their point. They’re not just going to roll over and agree with everything you say to keep the peace, because they know that’s an unhealthy thing to do for themselves and for your relationship. You deserve to be loved by someone who is going to be a good influence, and will always do the right thing.

They don’t let you make stupid mistakes

A person who is real wouldn’t allow you to do things that might harm you or your reputation. They allow you to have your independence, but they’ll advise you strongly against anything bad you plan to do. They would never force you out a decision, but they make it clear where they stand on any given situation, and you always know they make the best decisions.

They pull you up on bad behavior

When you do something bad, they won’t automatically take your side. They understand that doesn’t benefit you in any way, or help you learn from your mistakes. They will even let you know that they disapproved of what you did, so that you can see how your actions have affected someone you love. They don’t forgive easily, and they don’t forgive without cause. This may seem annoying, but it’s good for your character to be called out once in a while.

They don’t try and change you

This person accepts you for who you are, or they abandon you without trying to change you. They can recognize if they’re not the one for you, and they don’t try and blame you for how you are. Instead, they let you know that your personalities don’t match, and you can part as friends.

They recognize that you deserve to be loved – even if they’re not the one for you

A person who is real will always treat you with respect, even if they’re breaking up with you. If the two of you aren’t right together, they will accept a break up graciously and never make you regret your decisions. Finally, you may be able to look back on a relationship and not regret loving someone – even long after it is over.