I believed in your every word, I believed in every excuse you told me, every lie, I believed in you, in us. Because you were my man, my soulmate, my everything, and I loved you, I loved you so, so much. It took me years to realize that you were the wrong one, that you never loved me. I put all blame on you, because you made me feel like I’m not enough, that anything mine is not enough. There is nothing more heartbreaking than when you are giving your best, and you try your hardest, and it still is not enough.
It took me years to realize that what we had wasn’t real. You and I weren’t real. That wasn’t real love. I truly loved you, but I couldn’t love for both of us. Everything I gave was real, but you, you weren’t real. Your feelings weren’t real, you were just pretending. Because of you I was paranoid—I was thinking too much about things I said, because I was afraid that they were wrong. I was afraid that you would leave me if I said something inappropriate. But the truth is that you messed up, you did everything wrong. Actually, you were the wrong one. So, there is no doubt that the right lesson always teaches the wrong people.
All I know now about love, you taught me, because you showed me what love is not. You taught me that I deserve someone who answers, someone who is sure of me. I deserve someone who wants me as much as I want them. I chose you, the wrong one, I didn’t know that I would get hurt, but I did. My life was a living nightmare. You put me through hell and back. I was in pain, I was hurt, my heart was broken. My soul was shattered. All because I loved you too much. But you taught me some things. Because of the pain I was going through, I realized that I deserve everything, because I give everything when I love. I deserve someone who will wake up next to me, not the pain when I woke up alone, with some excuse text from you.
It took me years to realize that I deserve happiness. Now I know that I deserve someone who will care about me, someone who will not try to change me, to control me. I need and I deserve someone who will meet me with his family and friends, who will want me in his big moments. What I had with you was hell. Nobody loved your flaws and mistakes more than me. No one was there with you when you didn’t deserve it. I was. But you still chose to destroy me.
Thank you. After all I have to thank you, because if you didn’t destroyed me, I wouldn’t know all things I know now. Now I know that I deserve someone who will love me the way I love them. Someone who will give their best, because I am giving my best. I loved you, but you never were someone who was ready to love me the same way I loved you.
Everything I gave you and everything I did for you, no one would ever. You will never find someone who will care and love you like I cared and loved. Never. But now I know that I will find someone who will be much better than you. You were the wrong one, but you taught me how to love, how to breathe again after your own death. Because of you, now I love myself, now I am on first place.
Now I understand my worth and my value, you taught me that. Also, I know that I deserve someone who will catch me when I fall, someone who will be there in good and bad. I deserve someone who doesn’t have to lose me to realize what they could have had. Someone who will walk into my life easily, and fall for me really hard. A man who will choose to stay with me, to love me just the way I am, a man who will love me no matter what.
I didn’t lose so much, I only lost you. But because of you, I learned all the things I know now. So, it is true the right lesson always teaches you the wrong people. And you were the wrong one.