It’s hard to move on, it really is. Because I’m looking for you in every guy. But you are not there. One of them had your eyes, but nothing else. Other one had a smile as yours, but that was it. I couldn’t find you, no matter how hard I was trying.
All of them were good guys, but none of them was you.
Moving on is one of the scariest things to do, but I didn’t move. Not even a little. You are still my favorite part of me. All of those guys I met are actually fine. They were treating me great. They have the ability to treat me than I have ever been treated before. But something is missing. Something is not quite right.
Neither of them didn’t give me that spark. I’m not excited when I see their name on my phone. I am not looking forward to seeing them next day.
There is no feeling that I had when I was with you. That feeling that starts in my stomach and spread all over my body. There is no excitement I felt when I was on my way to see you.
I didn’t move. A piece of me is still hoping that one day you will come back.
I never admit it loud, but that is what I am feeling inside. I am not sure what still keeps my heart so drawn to you. Maybe I am not ready. And I have to understand that I am not going to find a right person until I get you out of my heart.
Thinking about you is causing me pain, I have to move on, I have to stop looking for you in other guys. When we were together I was giving my best, but it wasn’t enough. You still left me. So I understand that I am allowed to move forward. But I need to find strength for that, I am still weak.
To be honest, no matter what, I am really scared to move on, because I am afraid that no one will look at me like you.And I am afraid that no one will touch my soul so heavily, that no one will love all my flaws and weaknesses. Maybe I am wrong, maybe there is no reason to be afraid. But I can’t help myself.
I gave you my heart, so it is so hard to move on, to forget you. And I was ready to do anything for you just to make us work, and I was doing everything I could. Maybe I could do some things differently, but the truth is that I gave everything I had. You were selfish, you destroyed me and my happiness, so I don’t understand why am I still looking for you in every man on this planet. There is no logical answer on this. But what I understand that I have to move on. Because this is not life. This is not living. Wherever I go I am looking for you, and that is destroying my life.
I need to let go my pain. But it’s hard to move on.
One part of me doesn’t want to because it is the only thing still that attach me to you. There is no doubt that I have to move on, but how I am supposed to move on with my life with one foot on the brakes.
My heart is heavy with pain and regrets, although I gave you everything I had. Maybe I have to convince my heart that moving on doesn’t mean giving up. You are not mine, and my heart keeps breaking, so moving on is the best thing I can do for myself. I need to understand that my time and my heart are too precious and that I deserve more. But it is really hard to think that way, but I am trying.
There is no reason to hold on the past anymore because you have destroyed me. And our memories are still destroying. I need light in my life, I need to stop looking for you in others. And I know that my heart is going to stop needing you, I just have to start loving myself more than I love you.