When is the Right Time to Say “I Love you”?
We’ve all been there, wondering if we are ready. There are so many articles calculating the average time which passed in a relationship before saying those three magical words. Don’t get carried away reading other people’s stories, this is your relationship and you’re the only person with all the knowledge necessary to decide when is the right time.
- How long has it been since we are dating?
Do take time into consideration and add it to your personal equation. It doesn’t work the same for all of us. You might have known this person your whole life. If that’s the case, your “I love you” might come sooner and might already be there even before you start dating. If you guys just met, give yourself some time to get to know the person. See their bad sides and learn about their habits. You might just really like them and love will come later. Be patient.
- How similar is our definition of love?
Love is an abstract term we all define for ourselves, talk to your partner about what it means in their world. Falling for someone and growing fond of them is not necessarily a sign you should tell them you love them. Whether you’re aware of it or not, saying “I love you” sends a strong message to your partner who might have a definition slightly different than yours. Your “I love you” raises expectations and seals your relationship. Are you ready for that?
- Do my actions say the same thing?
Words are there to be said, but do you really feel it? Think about the way this person makes you feel. This doesn’t necessarily mean you see yourself with them twenty years from now, it just means that in this moment- there is no one else you would rather spend your time with.
You’re proud of them and can’t wait to “show them off” in your circles, you’re ready to try and put up with any obstacles on your way and stay through the hard times, you celebrate their successes and always find time to be supportive? These are all good signs. Don’t confuse affection for love. Love requires patience and sacrifices. The bad side of this is; no one can tell you what to do. On the other hand, you have all the answers- you just need to take your time and look for them.
- Are we on the same page?
This is the way you feel, great! Where is the other person standing? Saying it too early and too confidently might scare your partner off. Be aware that there are two people in your relationship and reciprocity sometimes does matter. Choose your words and be cautious about the way the other person understands them.
- When do I say it?
Planning too much will only make you nervous. Say it casually, say it in an important moment for you two, say it whenever you feel is right. I know couples whose partner said, “I love you” after being so afraid they’ll lose them, after a big fight, after an accident. But there are also those whose words came spontaneously, while laughing. Every moment is as special as you make it!