You guys are officially together. It’s been a few months and it all seems wonderful. You are happy, excited and ready to embark on a long journey with your newly found love. Is it really true? We will try our best to work things out, but there are certain things we do and popular beliefs we hold that can lead us nowhere and destroy our relationship rather than helping us build a strong foundation.

For example;

  1. Don’t show them your “crazy side” early on

Many will give you this advice. Whether it’s your disapproval of a certain habit found in your new partner you are suppressing, or it’s just one of your habits you are trying so hard to hide – don’t. Talk about it. You don’t want to start dating a person by presenting yourself as something you’re not.

This often causes relationships to fail, you seem to be on the same page but the more you get to know this new person and the more they get to know you- you realize it’s not all as glittery and shiny as it seemed. Why losing your time with someone who is looking for something you are not?

  1. We are supposed to have sex at least once a day in this stage

Not exactly. The frequency of your sexual interaction depends on what type of people you two are, your sex drive, free time and circumstances. If you put your expectations too high and base them on other people’s experiences- you’re likely to be dissatisfied and wonder if something is wrong. The truth is- everything is probably fine, you two just live your life (including the sexual part of it) at your own pace.

  1. We argue too much for this to work, I’ll try to avoid fights to save our relationship.

This, along with “don’t go to bed angry” is a common myth that fosters the fear of losing our partner. Arguments are healthy for your relationship and discussing things will only lead you to meet each other at a deeper level. Don’t pay attention to how much you argue, but the way these arguments work out. If you’re both yelling at each other and failing to listen- trying to stay out of fights won’t fix anything. Making your arguments more constructive and productive can help. Keeping your thoughts for yourself only means these will build up and explode sooner or later.

Don’t go out of your way to save something that is not working.

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