It looks as if, all my life, I’ve been the one who forgives and dishes out second chances as if they’re candies.
And it’s not only about second chances. I’ve given people thirds and fourths, hoping that they’d change and my poor heart would finally stop suffering.
And because I’ve been through the same scenario multiple times, I actually wonder if men shared intel between them.
Did they tell each other, “That’s the one you need – she always forgives you for your deeds”?
Because truth be told, I feel like they did exactly that.
They must’ve told each other about me because I’ve been dealing with the same type of man my whole life.
The ones who are always sorry for their actions and make false promises that they’d change.
The ones who pushed me to the limits of my forgiveness and made me feel that I was a bad person if I didn’t give them another chance.
Every time I met a guy, I got my hopes up thinking he’d be different from all the others.
For a change, he wouldn’t crush my heart by making me dismiss the things he did to me and our relationship.
But every one of them proved me wrong and made me go against myself. They made me forget the promises I made to myself for the sake of love.
“What if he’s the one? What if he’s really going to change? I won’t be able to see it if I don’t give him a second chance.”
So, I obsessively gave men however many chances they wanted while slowly it tore my heart into pieces.
Why? Because none of them showed me that I did the right thing. To be honest, they showed me that I was a fool who played her heart for love.
Just to be given crumbs of it, I deliberately destroyed myself.
And when I hit rock bottom, I realized I’d had enough.
I realized that if I kept doing the same thing, my heart would crack and it would be the end of me.
So, tired of giving chances to people who don’t deserve them, I announce that I’m done. I’ll no longer be the one you can play games with.
Time’s up! If I give anyone another chance they don’t deserve, I’ll be willingly fooling with my heart and my own emotions.
And that’s not what I want.
I can’t take any more fighting for people who don’t deserve a second of my time.
To them, I’m just a fun game they can play while they’re bored with their life.
The second someone more interesting walks into their life, they’re gone and I’m all alone, once again, waiting for my prince to arrive.
I can’t wait any longer for people to get their act straight. I’ve been listening to excuses for too long. That’s all I’ve heard this whole time.
Excuse after excuse – a never-ending story of men who weren’t real with me. They knew I’d forgive them each time they showed a sign of remorse.
And they certainly did know how to fake those.
All the men I met throughout my life treated me as an option.
I was never anything more than that – just a girl who was there to forgive every one of their mistakes.
And I want to be honest. I know the reason for their manipulative behavior.
It was all because I let them play with me. I let them be in control instead of taking the power back in my hands.
I let them give me excuses in the hopes that I’d be the one they change for.
But once they saw it in my eyes, they knew that I was too weak to fight.
So, they continued their games while I just stood by, hoping that someone would come along and save me from the torture.
But now that I’m exhausted, I promise to myself and to the world that I won’t be the one who forgives and forgets that easily anymore. I won’t be someone you can play with because you know you’ll get another chance.
Those times are over. Instead of waiting for people to change, I’ll now let them wait for me.
I’ll let them bend over backward for me as I’ve been doing for far too long.
I was the one they took advantage of. And it didn’t happen once, but a number of times.
That’s why, from now on, I’m leaving every man who can’t see my worth. I’m leaving every man who wants to play games with me.
The time of giving second chances to people who don’t deserve them is over. I’ve been a fool for too long and I can’t take it anymore.
I can’t take destroying my soft heart for those who don’t care about it.
For those who’ll be with me until they get bored, then run into the arms of some another girl, and afterward, just for fun, beg me to give them another chance.
I’m tired of giving myself to people who give me nothing but heartache in return.
I know that if I begged them for a second chance the way they begged me, I’d never get it.
They’d wave me goodbye and turn away from me – because no one allows themselves to be a fool the way I’ve been.
That realization made me stop and think.
Do I really want to be a girl who gives chances and always gets nothing in return?
A girl who’ll be called a fool by others? A girl who’ll always be the last on the list of priorities?
The answer? I don’t and I won’t anymore.
I’m tired of giving chances and being treated the way no one deserves to be. My arms were always outstretched and wide open, waiting for the right man to come. But it turns out that they ended up being a shelter for men who love to play games.
So, I’m cutting ties with the past and with every guy who played with my feelings.
I’m saying goodbye to the girl who ruined herself with her naive decisions.
Now it’s time to rebuild myself from the ground. It’s time to learn to appreciate everything I am.
It’s time to stop giving second chances to people who don’t deserve them. Finally, it’s time to free myself from the chains that I put on myself.