I’m done trying. That’s all I’ve been doing my whole life.
Trying to show them that I’m worthy of love. Trying to make them see how much they mean to me. Or even trying to make myself a priority in their lives.
I’m a woman who deserves to be loved the right way, and I still haven’t found someone who can give me that.
I still haven’t found a person who’ll make me a priority and show me the beauty of love. There’s so much to see, and I feel like I’m lagging behind, unable to reach the magical state of this feeling.
Don’t get me wrong, I still believe that there’s a person who’s made just for me. That man will walk into my life and make everything ten times better than it is now.
He’ll take care of me and hold me in his arms with such kindness that I’ve never felt before.
He’ll become my hero and I’ll be his heroine, and we’ll make each other’s lives so much better than they used to be before our meeting.
I truly believe in that because I still believe in the power of true love. I can’t go against that.
But the thing is, I’m tired of trying.
I’m tired of being the only one who cares. The one who fights and makes effort while the other person plays games.
I’m tired of being a woman who gives second chances because she believes that people can change if you love them hard enough.
A woman who gives her 100% while the guy she’s fighting for stands on the side and acts as a passive observer.
I’m tired of trying to make myself a priority in the life of a man who sees me only as an option.
Because no matter how much I give, he always fails to appreciate the love I shower him with.
I’m exhausted from trying to find someone who’ll see past my outer beauty and love me for who I really am.
Up till now, there hasn’t been a man who succeeded in that goal. All of them were gone the moment someone nicer came into their lives.
Because of that, I made an agreement with myself.
From now on, I’m done with trying to show anyone the value I carry within myself.
I’m done being the one to chase after them when they clearly can’t lift a finger for me.
If they don’t want to show me that they care about me, I detest being the one who keeps doing that.
If I can love them to the fullest, then they can do the same as well.
Love is about two people fighting for each other and showing that they truly care for each other.
It isn’t about one person holding the burden on their back while the other does nothing.
From now on, I want someone who won’t take me for granted.
Someone who will treat me like I’m special and won’t play with my feelings as so many have done in the past.
I want someone who’ll see the pain in my eyes and hold me tight in his arms so everything feels normal for a second.
Someone who’ll know how to make me smile even when I feel like I’m falling apart.
I still believe that someone like that exists. I believe that real love is somewhere out there and that my time will come.
One day, someone will walk into my life and show me why no one before him made sense.
But, I won’t be the one to chase after that man. I won’t ever again be a girl who gives everything and gets nothing in return.
Those times are over because I deserve something better, something bigger.
I deserve someone who’ll fight for me because he’s afraid of losing me.
Someone who’ll show me that real love isn’t pointless and that it all makes sense once you meet someone who’s right for you.
I believe in all these things the same way I believe in love.
Once the right person walks into my life, I’ll love him the way he’s never been loved before.
I’m not tired of loving. There’s still so much more left in me that I want to give to the right man.
But I’m tired of trying and fighting for those who aren’t right for me. I’m tired of being there for them when they clearly don’t care about me.
And once you come to the point where love makes you exhausted, you give up on fighting for it. Instead, you patiently wait for the right person to come and show you what real love is supposed to feel like.
You wait for him to teach you what it means to be loved unconditionally.
I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships and each one of them taught me that you shouldn’t fight for the wrong people.
They will use you and then disappear from your life.
But once you meet the right guy, be prepared to do everything for him because you’ll see that he’s doing the same thing for you.
So, whenever someone asks me if I’m tired of loving, I’ll give them the same reply:
No, it’s not that I’m tired of loving. It’s just that I’m tired of trying to be a suitable match for those who aren’t worth my time.
That’s why I’m hitting the pause button and focusing on myself. I’ll be learning to love myself until the right one comes.
And then, when he shows me that he wants me to be his forever companion, I’ll show him how it feels to have someone who loves you with their full heart.
Because I can still do that. It’s just that this time, I want to give all of my love to the right one.