All my life, I’ve been trying to make things work. I’ve been giving people more time than they deserve, thinking that eventually, it would all fit into place.
Naively, I thought that I was doing myself a favor, doing everything I could for the sake of my happiness.
But I now realize that all this time, I’ve only been forcing things. I’ve been trying to make them work, even though the chances of that were equal to zero.
All those sleepless nights, I could’ve spent getting a good rest. All those days where I worried myself to the bone could’ve been spent doing something that made me happy.
And instead, I chose the hard route, the one that would soon prove to be pointless and useless.
I spent too much time chasing after people, I let their negativity affect me and did my best to save all those relationships that had no value at all. I gave my best only to cut myself on the sharp edges of people who were never good for me.
Maybe I was too young to realize what was actually playing out in front of my eyes. Perhaps I was blinded by false expectations about love.
Maybe I desperately needed to be loved and I saw an opportunity in every guy I met.
To be honest, I still don’t know the right answer and maybe there’s not just one thing that describes all of the foolishness I caused myself.
It may be a combination of everything, a fatal combination that made me waste my time and energy on people who have no worth and on relationships that could never truly make me happy.
But the good thing is that I finally figured out all of the mistakes I’d been making. I finally see all of the reasons why things never actually worked out with anyone else.
And you know what they say – better late than never.
I know that I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in the past. I gave people too many chances when they didn’t even deserve to have the privilege of personally getting to know me.
Instead of walking away from them, I thought that time would do its job and things would end up looking the way they were supposed to.
But after many failed attempts, I realized that I needed to stop making the same mistakes. I needed to stop sacrificing myself for something that wasn’t a real relationship, for something that would never turn into love.
And just like that, I decided to stop.
I ended my bad habit of forcing things when it’s obvious that they don’t stand a chance of working out. I ended my routine of giving 100% and getting nothing in return.
Just like that, I realized that I needed to demand respect – for my time, for my efforts, for myself. And it all started to unravel effortlessly and I started to appreciate myself more.
From that point on, every guy who walked into my life was given a choice – you either value me or you miss me. If they couldn’t respect me for who I am, value my decisions or accept my worth, they would be out of my life.
It may sound harsh but I went through enough to know that demanding these things actually comes under the category of the bare minimum a man has to give in order to call himself a man.
And if they don’t feel ready for any of the behavior mentioned above, then they would have to miss me.
I know they would too, because I finally realized how much I bring to the table. I realized that I’m a woman who has a lot to offer but all this time, I’d been hiding it so as not to scare men.
All that time, I was pretending to be less than I am because I was afraid that I would be too much to cope with.
Can you imagine that? I was lowering my own worth just because I wanted to be loved by a man.
It’s only now that I realize how degrading I was toward my own self. It’s only now that I realize that I put myself down because I thought that I needed a man.
But if only I had known how to love myself better, I would never have gotten myself in this situation. If only I had known that no one’s love can replace the one that I need to give myself, everything would be so different.
The good thing is that I finally love myself enough to know that nothing in life should be forced. Not even a relationship, or love, or your own feelings.
The moment you see that things aren’t going naturally with a person, you should give up on them than waste your own energy.
I’m glad that I’ve learned my lessons. Yes, I did choose the hard way but at least I finally understand all of the worth that I carry within myself.
I finally know that forcing something to happen will never work in your favor.
So, to every guy who’ll come into my life and will maybe have the intention of staying, you’ll either value me or you’ll miss me. There’s no in-between.
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