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If You Can ‘Steal’ Him, You Can Keep Him

My mother used to tell me, “How you get them is how you’ll lose them.” She used this to warn me to never flirt with another woman’s man.

There was never a good enough reason to go after a man who was already in a relationship, or even a man who was already talking to someone else.

It always felt so wrong to me. The thought that I would be responsible for the pain of another woman made me visibly cringe.

I had never been cheated on for some odd reason. I don’t know whether there was an actual explanation for that or if I was just lucky with men.

That would change very quickly, though. One moment, I was sharing this fact with my friend, and the next, I felt a shiver run down my spine.

To be honest, I had never thought about what I would do if I got cheated on. The thought seemed so bizarre.

Would I yell at him? Would I just turn around and walk away?

DONE! If You Can 'Steal' Him, You Can Keep Him

I didn’t have enough time to figure out what I would do, because before I knew it, things went to hell.

My boyfriend knew that there was no going back from cheating. We would break up the very moment he did it.

That’s probably why I didn’t even believe the first few messages that I saw from you.

You told him that you missed him and that you were looking forward to seeing him again.

Again? How long had this been going on? Was I blind? Were there even any signs?

I instinctively wanted to call your number and yell my lungs out. But wait a minute…

Did you know that he had a girlfriend? Did you know that he was in a relationship?

DONE! If You Can 'Steal' Him, You Can Keep Him

My mind was working so fast, going through all the emotions and possibilities at once. What was I supposed to do?

What I refused to believe was that you were a bad person who had an entire scheme planned and wanted to steal my boyfriend away.

I mean, if you can steal him, you can have him. What do I even want with a cheating boyfriend?

It’s not like there aren’t men out there who wouldn’t know how to treat me right.

Nonetheless, the thought of being cheated on by the man I held so dear was painful. No one wants to experience that!

Just because I knew that I didn’t deserve to be cheated on doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t question myself or my own behavior.

There was an inner voice telling me that cheating was a choice and not a mistake.

DONE! If You Can 'Steal' Him, You Can Keep Him

The panic was rising inside me while I read the texts you’d exchanged.

I needed to confront him. I needed to confront you. Then the truth of the situation hit me like a tidal wave.

I had been cheated on.

It didn’t matter to me whether it was a moment of weakness, whether he stopped after one kiss because it felt wrong to him or if you two went all the way into infidelity.

In my mind, cheating was everything you wouldn’t do in front of your partner. That means flirting, being tactile with someone else, and so on.

All of that is cheating.

It took me a very long moment to collect myself. When I finally came to my senses, I decided that you were the first one I wanted to talk to.

I wanted to know your side of the story. That was probably a mistake, but back then, I didn’t care.

I just wanted to see what had gone through the mind of the woman who helped my boyfriend cheat.

You see, I thought perhaps you didn’t know that he was in a relationship. I wanted to believe that you were innocent for whatever reason.

The moment I realized it was a mistake was the moment I dialed your number.

DONE! If You Can 'Steal' Him, You Can Keep Him

From that entire conversation, what shook me the most was the moment when you said: “Well, it’s not my fault you don’t know how to keep a man.”

If I wanted to be dramatic that very moment, I could have, but I refused to let myself stoop that low.

You know what? Have him. Take him. Keep him.

I don’t want to have anything to do with either of you and I hope that you don’t lose him the way I did.

My mom’s words echoed in my head again. You just might lose him the same way you got him, dear.

You can have the entirety of him now, I won’t stand in your way.

I deserve better than that! I deserve better than a cheating, lying man.

There is a huge chance that I will never get past this experience and that I will always go back to it and remember the heartbreaking pain.

DONE! If You Can 'Steal' Him, You Can Keep Him

However, I will never let myself believe that I deserved that, especially not when you ‘stole’ him, knowing full well that you would hurt another woman.

You’re no better than him, I hope you know that.

You two have found one another at the perfect time and there’s nothing worse than believing that a healthy relationship can bloom out of that.

Watch me have my fun.

Watch me live my life without any regrets while I know that somewhere out there is a couple who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.

Even though you both knew that it would hurt someone else, you still did it.

My conscience is clear. What about yours?

You stole him, you can keep him. Have fun.

If You Can 'Steal' Him, You Can Keep Him

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Shonia Brown

Thursday 31st of December 2020

Why would you write on something you absolutely know nothing about. You should stay in your own lane. You bragged about never been cheated on. You for you. Don't spit to hight before it comes back in your eye. Being cheated on is devastating. It last a life time. No matter how much counseling one goes through it's still there. To be honest I couldn't finish your article because it was nonsense. Have you noticed no one has shared your article as of yet. Food for thought. You had one thing right. " if you can steal him you can keep him. When someone leaves you, or cheats on you,in the long run they are doing you a favor. Old saying "once a cheat always a cheat". Very true. But once they are gone keep it that way. If they text you, don't respond. If they email you, don't respond. If by chance they call you, don't pick up. Ones that get hurt and respond to men/women that have cheated on them, you are opening up a can of worms; to be hurt again..let then walk out of your life, let them go then and only then your healing will begin and that feeling is great!

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