It’s the moment of realization that hurts the most, when you admit to yourself that someone isn’t next to you because they didn’t want to be there – as cruel as it sounds.
In friendships and romantic relationships, we are always left to ask ourself what we can do better.
We search through our library of mistakes that we keep in the back of our mind, to find a reason why they left.
Was it because you cared too much? Did you seem too clingy? Did they feel unloved at any given point?
What happened and why aren’t they here with you right now?
Why are you alone, on the verge of tears, asking yourself if you did something wrong when you were the one putting all the effort in?
You have to stop overthinking this.
It’s very simple; if someone wanted to be there for you, they would. People who care about you don’t give you a reason to believe otherwise.
You don’t deserve excuses.
When you love someone, it’s easy to believe the excuses they give you for their lack of interest in your life.
You believe in their excuses because the truth that their actions speak louder hurts more.
Believing that the person you hold so dear doesn’t have the same amount of concern for you as you do for them is heartbreaking.
You were always the first one to run to their side. You were always the best shoulder to cry on.
They would tell you that they appreciated you, that they thought of you as the most reliable person.
However, those words only validated your actions to motivate you to continue doing it.
The excuses you got whenever you needed love and support were enough to show you that they didn’t care.
Life does get in our way sometimes.
We are adults with our own struggles and even when we manage our time perfectly, sometimes life just gets in our way.
People won’t always be there for you and that is a fact that stands.
Everyone has the need to spend time alone and do things on their own, so you can’t get mad when someone tells you no.
It’s a normal thing to need time for yourself.
You have the full right to tell someone that you can’t be there for them or you just don’t have the energy to hang out. This is always up to you.
Your boundaries will always protect you from burning out. However, you have never been a person to ask for too much.
You need them, but they aren’t there for you.
The problem starts when you’re the one who doesn’t get the same treatment in return.
When you’re always running to save someone from heartbreak and you’re always there to help someone back on their feet when they’re feeling down, you have a right for the same treatment in return.
You have the right to ask for the same amount of time and attention as you give to people. What happens when they start making excuses?
Stop bending over backward for people who won’t do the same in return!
We forget how many times we have given ourself to someone unconditionally. We forget until it hurts and it feels like the loneliness will choke us.
Your heart shatters every time you remember that they’re not there for you when you need them the most.
How many times have your messages gone unanswered? How many calls went to voicemail? Did your pleading and begging fall on deaf ears?
We hang on to every hope we have for a future when they will keep the promises that seem so empty right at this moment.
“I am so sorry I can’t be there for you right now, I’m just really busy.“
Does that sound believable to you? Of course, the first few times, it’ll seem like a valid reason.
After some time, using the same excuse just seems so predictable and lame.
You have grown tired of these lies.
I can see it in the way your eyes look sad and the way the tears in your eyes threaten to spill.
That future will never arrive and you are becoming more and more aware of it.
You have so much empathy for other people that none of it is left to be spent on yourself.
You always understand where everyone else is coming from, because you know how guilty they may feel.
So you decide to never mention how hard it is for you to handle life all by yourself.
However, you see right through the lies of other people and you still always ask what’s wrong.
No one seems to notice these things when it comes to you and it’s really frustrating.
Maybe they aren’t a bad person, but you’re just not as important to them.
We have the full right to decide who we want to be there for and who we want to keep at arm’s length.
Realizing this will make your stomach drop. It’s hard to explain when you need to admit this.
You want to hate them for not being there for you. You want them to realize how much they hurt you and feel your pain.
When the truth is that they are just apathetic and that they don’t care as much, I can’t really blame you.
You can’t force someone to stay in your life and care about you and that’s OK.
You will meet so many people in your life and if one person isn’t able to show you the love and appreciation you deserve, it’s not the end of the world.
It may feel like it, with your heart painfully shattering in your chest, but it’s the truth.
People will come and go. When someone really wants to be there for you, they will be. If they want to stay in your life, they will make sure you know.
People will promise you things and tell you how much you mean to them, but these are empty words.
Their actions speak volumes so you have to make a hard decision.
If they wanted to be in your life, they would be.
You deserve people in your life who will genuinely choose you over everything else.
You deserve people who won’t think twice about rushing to your place to hold you while you tell them what’s wrong.
These people won’t tell you how much they wish they could be there for you, but rather they will make an actual effort to show up.
Someone who actually cares about you will see the real you and they will appreciate everything you do for them.
However, they will know how strong you are but that you still have moments where you need support.
They will know how hard it is to maintain a healthy relationship and that it requires work and effort from both parties.
But believe me when I tell you that they will make it worth your while.
You won’t ever have to think twice about calling them or texting them. Your calls and messages will always be answered.
You deserve someone who is honest with you.
Communication is the key, as cheesy as that sounds. However, when you communicate your problems to someone and they respond understandingly, you will know that they’re the real deal.
You deserve someone who will be honest with you. You deserve someone who won’t shy away from making small sacrifices just to be with you.
That person will encourage you, love you, and help you thrive rather than letting you exhaust yourself on their behalf.
Because of that, if they wanted to be in your life, they would be.
I know that your heart wants to keep them close even when you know you shouldn’t, but you deserve better than that.
Know that this one person isn’t the only human being out there who can give you love and affection.
There are so many people out there and I know it sounds clichéd, but please listen to me before you tire yourself out.
You will meet so many people in your life and there will be ones who will put everything aside to be there for you.
Because they want to be in your life. Because they want to make sure you’re doing fine.
These are the type of people you should look for and these are the people you should hold close.
Give yourself a break and stop chasing people who obviously don’t want to be there.
You deserve so much better.