You know how everyone keeps repeating that real love is difficult and needs to be fought for? They keep convincing us that struggles are the main part of every relationship and that every time things are going smoothly, something bad is going to happen.
So, whenever you find yourself in a happy relationship, one where you don’t fight 24/7, you feel like there’s something wrong. Whenever you move through your relationship easily, without a struggle, you think that it isn’t real love.
We’ve got so caught up in the idea that real love is about fighting for it that we’ve forgotten what healthy relationships are supposed to look like. A real relationship takes effort but it doesn’t have to hurt, it doesn’t have to be difficult.
We mistake toxic relationships for healthy ones, as we’re convinced that it has to hurt if it’s real. It has to be hard in order to be worth it.
But that’s not how things should look. That’s now what should happen.
These unhealthy ideas about love and relationships should stop being romanticized, as if we fail to do so, they will ruin us completely.
Because if it isn’t effortless, then it isn’t real.
You can keep convincing yourself that you’re doing the right thing fighting for your relationship, while in reality, you’re prolonging the pain that it makes you feel.
You’re only making things harder for yourself and standing up for something that has no worth.
Maybe if you let go of this broken idea of love, everything would run so much more smoothly. Your relationship wouldn’t be a burden and it wouldn’t make you feel all broken on the inside.
I’m not saying that real love is easy to the point where you’ll never end up in a fight. I’m not saying that it’s easy to the point where there won’t be any disagreements.
But all these obstacles will get solved easily and without a fuss.
You won’t be crying yourself to sleep because your partner doesn’t understand what you’re going through. Instead, you’ll be able to share your feelings with him and he’ll be the one holding you in his arms to comfort you.
Whenever you have a disagreement, you won’t be pulling in opposite directions. Instead, you’ll sit down and have a talk that will result in a compromise.
That’s what I mean when I say that true love is effortless.
It doesn’t mean that there won’t be anything to fight for. It doesn’t mean that you won’t run into any obstacles.
No love is perfect, as perfection doesn’t exist. But it doesn’t mean that you should be fighting for love like your life depends on it just to be sure that it’s real.
Don’t make excuses for your partner’s behavior by convincing yourself that love’s supposed to be hard. Don’t forgive him for his inexcusable mistakes just because others have told you that you have to fight for your relationship.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life fighting for something that brings you mediocre happiness?
Do you really want to be in a relationship with a guy who makes it hard for you just because you think that love works that way?
If you choose to say, “Yes,” to these ideas, then know that you aren’t choosing real love. If you choose to keep fighting for something that should be easy and effortless, then you’re making your life harder for yourself.
One day, a real man will walk into your life and he’ll show you what real love is supposed to look like. At that moment, you’ll realize that all this time, you’ve been living in a delusion.
All your ideas about love have been wrong and the struggles you’ve been through have been in vain.
If only you had believed your heart when it tried to tell you that real love doesn’t hurt, you would be much happier now.
But you kept listening to others around you and since all of them had unhealthy ideas about relationships, they convinced you that you had it good.
“You have to fight for it. It doesn’t just appear by itself. Real love is hard to keep.” They were screaming these words at you and you thought that you must trust them.
But one day, this one special guy will come along and show you how all of those around you have been wrong. He’ll show you that real love is easy to work through, as you and your partner want the best for each other.
He’ll show you that real love is about caring and appreciation and not about fighting to be the one who’s right. Everything will feel easy and natural and you’ll realize that your ideas about love have been wrong this whole time.
Instead of actually being in a relationship worth fighting for, you were in an unhealthy one, where neither you nor your partner knew what it meant to care about one another.
You tried to make things work but when it’s not real, there’s no point in fighting for it. There’s no point in giving your best when you know that nothing will work out.
With the right one, a sudden change will happen and you’ll finally experience that actual feeling of real love.
Like a spring breeze, it caresses your cheek and leaves a sweet kiss on your forehead. It’s gentle and soft but at the same time, it makes you feel some of the most beautiful emotions on the inside.
You sit and think about it for a second. You realize that real love is effortless, comes naturally, and doesn’t have to be pressured in any sort of way.
Instead of fighting for it, it places itself in your heart, just like that. And from that point on, your only job is to nurture it and care about it, to show your appreciation, and never give up on it.
To all of those who still keep repeating that relationships are hard, I must say this. They’re hard when only one person is working on them or when they’re toxic.
Otherwise, love comes easy and doesn’t need to be begged for.