All this time, I kept giving you chances. I suffered through all of your excuses, hoping that one day, you’d finally make me your priority.
Maybe you needed more time to accept your feelings. Maybe our relationship was moving too fast and you wanted to be sure that you wouldn’t end up hurt.
I had many more justifications hidden up my sleeve. And every time you set me aside, I pulled one out and pretended that I could play by your rules.
But at some point, I ran out of apologies for your actions. I ran out of cover-ups for the cruel game you were playing with me.
All of a sudden, I realized that you never had the intention of being serious with me. Those were only false promises and you could never make them come true.
Your only idea was to keep me in your life for as long as you could, as I was the perfect plan B – a girl who was always there and would never leave you. A girl who would stick through thick and thin because she was desperately in love with you.
All this time, your words were false and you simply used them to keep me in your life a bit longer.
To be honest, you probably never thought that I would stay this long but I guess that I’m a sucker for sweet promises and romance that I had never felt with anyone else before.
You gave me a bit of everything and assured me that you were there to stay. However, your main excuse to not yet do that was that you needed a bit more time to sort your life out.
I let you deal with your problems on your own, the way you asked me to, and I stood on the sidelines, acting like your shelter. I welcomed you home with my arms wide open every time you decided that you needed me.
But those moments only lasted a day or two. After that, you would pull away once again and I would go back to waiting.
The entire time, I thought that I was doing the right thing. I was fighting for love, waiting for my happy ending.
But it turned out that our romance would bring me anything but happiness. Your presence in my life ended up tearing me down instead of helping me reach for the sky.
I was living in denial, trying to prove to myself that you truly loved me. I convinced myself that you were my soulmate and that I could never find anyone similar to you.
But as days went by, the thought that I would finally be your one and only, the idea that you would finally come back to me once you sorted everything out, started to fade away.
I realized that all this time, I was only your plan ‘B’. I was never meant to be in your life forever.
Instead, I was made to last until you met someone better. I was there to keep you company until you finally found your true love.
And while I was planning my life around you, you had all those other girls in your plan and not me. I was your backup plan from the beginning and that’s all I was.
I realized that you could never make me your priority as that was never part of your scheme.
Why would you be with a girl who loved you more than she loved herself? Why would you be with someone who showed you that you were the only person who mattered to her?
I guess that I wasn’t challenging enough. I didn’t know how to play with your heart and that’s why you never felt attracted to me the way you did with all those other girls.
None of them would ever want to stay with you forever but you still decided to chase after them. And there I was – waiting for you for as long as it took because I truly fell for you.
I thought I would be there until the end of the world because the idea that we may end up together kept me going.
But we all have our limits and it was finally time for me to reach mine.
One day, I realized that we could never be together. It felt as if something clicked and I figured out that I had been living in complete denial.
I felt as if the whole time, I had been looking at things with blurry eyes. And then when I finally rubbed them, I could see everything clearly.
I saw you playing with my feelings and chasing after others. I saw myself in ten years’ time, still broken from all of the pain you inflicted on me.
At that moment, I realized that we could never work, as you had no intention of staying by my side. You could never be my forever and I could never be your true love.
And that’s when I told myself these words, the ones I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
“If I’m your plan ‘B’, then you’re my plan ‘Bye’.”
Just like that, I deleted your number from my phone and started doing everything I could to remove you from my heart as well.
You kept calling me but I didn’t pick up. You sent me a ton of messages asking me what was wrong and why I wasn’t answering your calls.
On some days, you even came to my house, begging me to open the door so we could talk.
But I didn’t fall for your efforts. You showed them too late, once I was already done with you.
I guess that my mind always knew that you weren’t the one for me but my heart enjoyed all of the sweet words you kept telling me. So I always stuck around, until one day, I finally saw things clearly.
At that point, I realized that you were a player and that now you had finally lost your prey, you felt defeated. You needed me back in your life just so you could be the one who would walk away from me instead.
But I didn’t want to give you that pleasure. You led me on for too long and it was time for me to do the right thing at least once.
And since I was your plan ‘B’, you became my plan ‘Bye’.
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