Men aren’t complicated, and neither is love. Dating is complicated, relationships are complicated, and problems are complicated.
But love? Not really. The absence of true love makes things complicated.
We are so far from explaining how the human brain works and what love really is. So, we try giving examples, analyze things, and explain some of them…
There’s actual science that studies this and we know what people have discovered. What we find out in our own experiences can’t be explained through research though.
In a way, people are all the same, yet each one of them is a universe of its own. We haven’t yet managed to understand the great universe we are all in, let alone the individual ones.
All we know is how things are supposed to look when someone loves you.
How come there are people you think love you but don’t act that way then?
They might even claim that they love you, and even make you feel like they do but do they?
The truth is that they probably do in some way, but we can’t define it so specifically.
When we talk about true love, real love, we talk about simply love. The love that everyone should have in their life, but unfortunately, many don’t.
Why? What do they have?
They have complicated situations with complicated feelings.
Some of those feelings are love, but it’s not pure love, it’s mixed with something else but what?
It might be some personal issues a person has had with their experience of love.
How can they show love if they don’t understand it and never felt someone love them that way?
Love is not just that feeling you have toward someone. It’s the way you treat that person.
You can have feelings for someone and treat them badly. When you really love them though, it’s not just how you feel.
You know how a little boy has the need to pull the hair of the girl he likes?
He doesn’t have the need to give her a smile or a flower that would make her smile.
A little boy has the need to hit the girl he likes and run away. He teases her and gets defensive if someone points out that he’s into her.
Somehow, children show love differently than we do, like all the other emotions.
When they’re angry, they get angry about things adults don’t, and they throw a tantrum.
As children, we experience the same emotions as adults do. We just don’t know how to understand them, control them, process them, suppress them, or express them.
That little boy who pulled the girl’s hair had an emotion that caused him to do that. Do we call that emotion love?
We don’t even assume that people can experience romantic love before they’re adults.
Even when someone falls in love for the first time as an adult, we don’t call it love.
We don’t even take them seriously when they cry because of it. How can they be heartbroken if they haven’t loved?
We’re not so wrong not to call it love though, are we?
Love isn’t just an intense feeling that overwhelms us.
We tried explaining this by calling some things a big crush, infatuation, falling in love, caring for someone, loving someone…
These terms don’t explain this though.
What can explain it is that love is not just an emotion, but the way you understand, control, and express that emotion.
Before becoming an adult, you have to learn to control your feelings, right?
You don’t cry just because someone started to play with a toy you want to play with now that you can’t.
Emotions aren’t just things that you feel, they’re things that you learn.
We still don’t understand them well enough to explain them, we just somehow learn to deal with them.
Where does love come from, why does it happen, and what does it mean?
These are some big and important questions and we don’t really have proof of answers to them.
So, we try to explain what we can prove and define things.
Yes, maybe a person who doesn’t treat you right feels a feeling of love toward you. Is that true love, though?
It sounds like just a strong feeling that they don’t how to deal with. Why?
It doesn’t matter why. To psychologists, it matters a lot, but it’s not your job to figure out complicated things about the human mind and emotions.
It’s not your job to fix someone’s problems either, and that’s not easy even for a professional.
Your job is to live the time you have on this earth the best you can. What would be the best?
To be truly loved, to feel good about yourself, to try to stay healthy, to have enough money, and be as happy as possible.
It’s not just that, but even that isn’t so simple or easily achievable. All you can do is work toward it without wasting your time unnecessarily.
You need to be truly loved, and to find that love, you need to know what isn’t love.
If a guy truly loves you, you don’t need to beg him for anything. Anything.
He freely and willingly gives you everything you truly want and need… Support, trust, kindness, understanding, attention, love, care, respect…
Do you give this to him? You truly love him.
Does he give this to you? If he doesn’t, he doesn’t truly love you, and he most likely never will.
Do you know why we keep repeating this to you even though it clearly makes sense? Because we all know that, but knowing something isn’t the same as learning something.
Sometimes, we just can’t even imagine it if we haven’t experienced it. Other times, we let our emotions blind our judgment.
Love is not the only simple thing in this world that most often doesn’t look the way it’s supposed to.
Do you know why people say you have to believe in love? I think it’s because of that.
Believing in love is never about letting it destroy you, it’s about knowing that love never would.
Which emotion is constantly present and intense?
This emotion comes and goes, and only love and hate somehow seem to be constant and have the ability to last forever.
Love is not just an emotion, and neither is hate. It’s also something we learn and have to fight to let go of.
Interestingly enough, it’s also a choice and a decision, even though it doesn’t start that way.
If a guy truly loves you, he doesn’t just feel an emotion of love that he couldn’t choose.
He chooses to be with you, keep you around, and make you happy.
Love and begging can be related only if you beg a divine force to help you find love and to not settle for what isn’t love.
You can’t beg for support, trust, kindness, understanding, attention, love, care, or respect… This is a gift that someone who loves you gives you freely because your happiness matters to them.