Before we even got to the dating part, I was almost sure that I knew who you were. I thought I had you all figured out and that you’d never play with me.
You were always that kind of a guy not focused on romantic relationships in his life. They were secondary to you as you only looked for flings and ways to boost your precious ego.
And truth be told, I repeatedly thought that we didn’t have anything at all in common – not even to be friends.
Still, there was a part of you that was so attractive to me. For weeks, I couldn’t pinpoint it, and how your beautiful eyes so easily persuaded my heart. Or maybe it was your naughty smile, I don’t really know.
It could be that your free spirit and the way you lived your life attracted me to you, as I was never the type who’d easily be able to give up everything and move elsewhere.
I guess I was one of the girls who gave her heart to a bad boy and let him break it.
And I never really thought that this kind of love would ever happen to me. I was always careful not to fall in love with some man who would use his charm and kindness to win a girl over and then leave her like nothing ever happened.
The only thing that I heard you saying is that we could have fun together, and that was the only thing that really mattered. Life’s too short anyway, am I right?
Also, you told me that I was the special someone for you and that we should relish our experiences with others. You repeated over and over again how truly blessed we were to have each other and that we should appreciate it while it lasts. But I should’ve known that was the first red flag that something wasn’t right.
Still, I felt wonderful when we were together and you treated me like a queen. Even though it was only for a short time, I didn’t care because my heart yearned for you and I needed you in my life.
But now I know that you were only interested in me because I didn’t fall into your arms immediately. I wasn’t one of those “ordinary” girls who jumped right into your lap and rushed to pick up her phone whenever you called her.
And as time passed, I started thinking that I really was special to you. I hoped that the love and attention I gave you would eventually change you and make you stay by my side.
I was so sure that you behaved the way you did because you hadn’t found the one so far.
And I foolishly believed that I was the one.
Every time we got to see each other, I always told you how we had no similarities at all. But even though you actively listened to me, you never understood what I was saying to you.
Your only goal was to persuade me to fall in love with you. That’s why you said that opposites attract and we’d make it all work.
Whenever I shared my doubts about having a relationship like that, you quickly shifted the topic to something else and distracted me with your masterful charm.
I don’t want to admit it to myself, but I fell for it. I fell for it because my heart wanted to believe that I could have everything with you. That’s just how special you made me think I was.
For a brief period, you actually had me convinced that our relationship could work. The feeling that I had with you was otherworldly and it came so naturally.
But we don’t live in a fairy tale, do we? Sooner or later, reality hits you.
Just as I started to lose myself in you, believing that we could have our happily ever after, you helped me open my eyes.
It felt like a bus had hit me. I didn’t expect it at all and that’s why it hurt so badly.
I should’ve listened to my gut. You proved to me that you’re exactly the man I thought you were.
I was just so blinded by love, I let you manipulate me into thinking that our love could really survive despite our differences. Then just as I lowered my walls, you came crashing in with everything you had.
When you left, I felt humiliated and stupid for letting you into my life in the first place. We spent great times together, but it’s tough for me to explain how much you hurt me.
I knew from the very beginning that you weren’t going to stay by my side. I knew that you were just going to jump from one woman to the next.
Still, I chose to ignore all those red flags and let you have me. That was on me, it was my mistake.
The only lesson I learned from our experience is that I should trust my gut more, instead of losing my mind in beautiful fantasies that’ll never come to life.
I should’ve listened to my gut. Because you proved to be exactly the man I thought you were.