I was never shy about my feelings for you. I was always sure how I felt about you, even though we never dated.
The thing is, neither of us had the courage to take things to the next level. We always hid behind our emotions and never admitted we had feelings for each other.
And yet I never felt more in love with someone in my whole life.
I really believed that you were the one for me. The one who’d put a smile on my face every day and make sure I’m truly grateful for having you by my side. You see, out of all the people in my life, it’s actually you who I can picture myself with.
It’s with you that I want to grow old and see our grandchildren in our house. I know it’s difficult for you to understand this, but that’s how you make me feel.
Honestly, I never wished to fall in love again as I wasn’t prepared to move on from my ex. But there’s something about you that makes me feel like I’m in the seventh heaven. I know that I shouldn’t love you as we’re two worlds apart.
I’ve been warned about you by my friends – they told me to not expect too much from you. They told me I shouldn’t play the waiting game because I’d end up being heartbroken again.
They told me to move on, but that’s easier said than done.
I’m living proof that it’s not always up to us to decide who we’re going to fall in love with. Sometimes when the mind talks, the heart simply doesn’t want to listen.
Truth be told, people get surprised when I admit to them that I’m deeply in love with you. They don’t understand why – and neither do I.
When I think about it, I’m quite confused about it all. I can’t comprehend how love works and why I’m so in love with you.
I don’t care if people say I’m crazy, stupid, or even a bit naïve, because those are my emotions and I can’t just throw them away. My heart wants what it wants and you can hardly do anything about it.
Perhaps it’s all about the way you make me feel when we’re around each other. I can just be myself when I’m with you because I don’t fear being judged by you, ever.
I only feel safe and comfortable when we’re together because we’re each other’s safe haven.
Maybe it’s like that because we can sense when one of us is hurting so we rush to give comfort. Maybe we care for each other deeply enough that we don’t ever want to be apart!
Or maybe it’s like that because opposites attract and we can’t get enough of each other.
Either way, I know that my heart has chosen and there isn’t much that I can do about it. I can’t change the way I feel about you. I can only let the time pass by and hope that my love for you fades away.
And truthfully speaking, I’m not even trying to stop myself from loving you. I’m not fighting a battle against my own emotions because I know that you like me too. I can feel it in my gut that you also want something more out of this.
But I can’t wait for you forever, you know. I’m done playing waiting.
Sometimes I get the feeling as if you’re saving us for a better time. As if you secretly hope that our paths will cross someday and our two souls will reunite again.
Or perhaps you may be afraid to mess up what we have now. And I understand that.
Remember that I’m not going anywhere – I’m staying right here where I am now. But also know that I’m no longer waiting for you either.
I can’t wear my heart on my sleeve and hope that one day you’ll admit your love for me. I’m not even sure that’s ever going to happen.
There are so many questions bothering me and I can’t keep putting my life on hold for you. Even if love can make you feel like you’re a superwoman, it’s also something that can destroy you if it’s not reciprocated.
I’ll never stop hoping that one day you’ll make the first move and ask me to go on a date with you. I secretly wish that my dreams will come true.
But I’m also done playing the waiting game and not living my life to the fullest because of you.
You can continue treating me like I’m your girlfriend even though I’m not. You can continue behaving as if everything’s normal and there isn’t a spark between us.
And you can keep hugging me like I’m your everything while you’re ignoring the elephant in the room.
But I’m done begging for your attention.
You can keep chasing other girls and trying to make it work with them. I’m not stopping you in your little adventures.
As a matter of fact, I’ll continue to support you. I won’t show how much it hurts me to see you with some other woman when I say I’m happy for you or how lucky she is to have you in her life.
Just don’t expect me to beg for morsels of your attention.
I’m not saying that I’m completely done with you because you’ll always have a special place in my heart. My door will always be open for you.
I’ll keep dreaming about our future together and looking forward to the moment you finally realize that we belong together.
But I have to live my own life, you know.
I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be right here if you want me. But I won’t be here forever because I’m done waiting already.