Since the story between us is finally over, I really hope you’re doing great. I hope you’re not suffering as much as I did and that the pain isn’t torturing you to the point where you can’t sleep at night.
I truly hope that you’re fine, but please don’t expect me to call as there’s no way I’ll ever be willing to do that.
We had our ups and downs, the same way all of the couples do, but it all comes to that lingering feeling that’s still left in my chest. The ache of losing someone who eventually proved to me that he didn’t deserve a place in my life.
I can’t ignore all of the things we went through and pretend like they never happened. I can’t hide the truth from myself because I’m well aware of everything I had to go through because of you.
I must admit, there were some moments where I felt like I was on top of the world. But there were also many where the only thing I wanted was to get off from the trainwreck that our relationship ended up being.
I hope you’re doing great and that you’ll be able to find someone else for you because I’ll never be that person. I’m incapable of picking up the phone and calling your number – there are still too many bad memories deeply rooted in my mind.
Like those words you said when you were leaving. Or the hurtful sentences you filled the air with during one of our last fights.
You made it clear that you thought you were better than me. And you truly believed I’d come knocking on your door as soon as the dust of the breakup settled.
That’s when I realized that you didn’t deserve my text message or my call, even though I wanted to stay friends with you at first.
But since you showed me that you think you’re way out of my league, I don’t really feel the need to check up on you because I know you’ll see that as my attempt to get you back.
I really don’t need you back. Especially not after all those failed attempts to be there for you while I was getting nothing in return. You failed to be there for me the same way I was there for you, and I couldn’t take that anymore.
I had enough. I had no more strength to keep pulling both of us to the surface while you were clearly doing your best to drag us down.
I really hope that life’s treating you well. After all, we were together for a while. You showed me a ray of emotions, and for some, it was the first time I ever felt them.
From the initial ecstasy of finally finding the person who means the world to me, to the dark feeling of being alone in a relationship, constantly fighting with the person who was supposed to be my safe rock.
At times, you felt like my dream come true. But there were many more times where I felt like your presence was suffocating me.
After our relationship ended for good, at first, I felt this need to avenge myself. To serve back everything you’d given me the whole time. To feed you on crumbs of love and then break you apart.
But then I realized: I’m better than that. I realized that I needed to learn how to let go of someone who was just a lesson – an experience I had to go through.
Holding onto you would only make the pain last longer. And I didn’t want to let myself go through that. I didn’t want to let you have control over me even after you were gone out of my life.
That’s why I can promise you that you won’t see my name on your screen. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever in the future.
I won’t call to see if we could get back together. That would feel like walking over myself and all of the boundaries I’ve set for myself.
I know you would love to see me call because then you’d feel like the winner. That’s the only reason you want me to reach out to you – so you can rub in my face how you were right from the very beginning.
And I refuse to give you that satisfaction. Plus, I know that you’re no good for me and you could never change for the better.
So, when I tell you that I hope you’re doing great, I don’t want you to get your hopes up and think that I need you back in my life. I don’t want you to think that I still love you as I crossed you out a long time ago.
Your name is on the list of those who taught me a valuable lesson. That you should always care about yourself more than you care about your partner, since you never know when that person may decide to stab you in the back.
You proved to me that no matter how much you love someone, if they’re not willing to give you the same in return, the relationship will never work. If they don’t respect you as an equal, you have nothing to fight for.
I gave you a chance and you blew it. Now, it’s my time to completely erase you from my life as there’s no way that I’m going back into yours.
I know that I’ll be even better without you. Because I finally realized that the only love I need to depend upon is the one I give to myself.