I’m done now.
Too many times I’ve said “Just one more time.” Too many times I’ve made excuses, saying “He didn’t mean it.”
I was always the one making excuses for you to the point where it was an automatic response to anything and everything you did. In the beginning, I didn’t even know I’d be capable of being so blind.
Back then, you were the man of my dreams. You seemed so attentive, so caring.
It took me years to realize that you were actually love-bombing me.
You were taking advantage of my vulnerable moments and knew how to play your cards right.
I would melt under your words and touch.
I was putty in your hands and it seemed like there was nothing that could make me happier than being by your side.
That’s why I forgave you so many times.
When you made a mistake, I would laugh it off at first. It seemed like the right thing to do, because you had me convinced you wouldn’t hurt a fly.
You always made me feel so loved that I thought your mistakes were just normal things. We all make mistakes right?
Whenever I’d get mad at you, you’d hug the scowl off my face. You would kiss me until my arms went limp and I got lost in you once more.
Someone who didn’t love me wouldn’t treat me like that, right?
That’s how it led from one chance to another.
Every time I got mad at you, there was a fight, but it ultimately led to me forgiving you for everything.
We can say that it’s because I was blinded by my love for you. Or because I was so desperate to feel loved that I let everything slide.
I would make excuses for you.
“He must have forgotten to call me back, he’s so busy.”
“There is no way he would forget my birthday, maybe it just slipped his mind.”
I would reason with myself that every little thing that would happen was just my fault.
For example, you’d forget something because it was my duty to remind you. I would put myself down for days because of it.
And I’d feel absolutely desperate when you’d guilt trip me into believing that you were doing the best you could.
How could I continue fighting with you if you were doing this?
You’d tell me that everything you bought for me was the reason I should keep my mouth shut.
How many more times would I have heard that if I didn’t decide to leave when I did?
All those chances that I gave you were piling up and suffocating me.
Nothing seemed right anymore – I didn’t know if I was staying because I loved you or because it was comfortable.
The first time I tried to leave, you cried and told me you’d hurt yourself.
I read about manipulation and thought it only happens to women who really don’t know how to pick a man in their life.
Back then, I thought that it certainly would never happen to me.
So when you begged me to stay by your side, I pushed aside the voice inside that screamed for me to run.
I even pushed aside every single piece of relationship advice I ever got or read about. For a moment I believed that you’d do the same thing for me.
You promised that you’d change, so why did I think about leaving you?
I actually thought that I was the bad guy, even back then, because I didn’t stay to work things through with you.
I decided to leave and it made me feel like a coward. Especially when I saw how your face crumbled and contorted into a painful expression.
That look on your face made my heart break in my chest.
One more chance wouldn’t be an issue? We can work things through?
I will not make the same mistake again. I’m done now!
I’m done now. I’m done hearing your excuses and believing your empty promises.
The little girl you knew to be blind and stupid has grown out of her naivety.
For whatever reason, you believed that I would stay no matter what you did.
So this is me finally choosing myself.
There is nothing in this world that will make me give you another chance when you didn’t know what to do with the million chances I’d already given you.
I’m done now. I’m done explaining to you the simple things in life and love.
I might just explain to you one more time why I left things, but I really don’t have the energy to do it.
You don’t deserve another chance. Not even when it would mean that this time would be different.
I’ve finally made a decision that’ll make me happy.
There is someone out there who will get one chance and take it. Another man will take one chance and make the most out of it!
That right there is something I am looking forward to in life.
If anything, I have learned that one chance is enough for someone to show you how much they love you.
The right one won’t need a dozen chances just to realize how much I mean to him. He will know how to treat me right from the very beginning.
Something you weren’t very skilled at.
Because of that, I’m done giving you any more chances now. I don’t need you anymore and this is my final goodbye!