I’ve been hurt many times in the past and therefore, I fear love. I fear relationships and all of the pain they can inflict on me.
That’s why I often pull away from anyone new. I’m afraid that I’ll face heartbreak once again, so I pretend that I’m protecting myself by running away as fast as I can.
Sometimes, I lose a good person along the way, as I don’t give them a chance to show me their true self. Other times, I actually save myself from the pain of having my heart broken once again.
And even though I know that running away from others won’t do anything good for me, I keep thinking that it’s the only right thing I can do.
Even though I may risk losing the one who’s made for me, I need to know that I’m doing my best to protect a heart that has suffered enough. I need to know that I won’t ever again experience that wrenching pain I’ve felt on multiple occasions.
So, to the next guy who’ll fall for me – I need you to know that I’m a weird creature who’s been through a lot.
My tears have been the only constant thing in my life. Everything else kept slipping from my hands, no matter how hard I tried to keep them in place.
That’s why I’m used to saving myself from unknown situations. That’s why I live in the belief that the next person who walks into my life will break my heart again.
I fall asleep with the thought that if I stop even for a second and show my vulnerable side, I’ll end up in misery.
Once you meet me and fall for me, you should know that I’ll probably look for a way out. I’ll get scared of what the future may hold and I’ll try to save myself from uncertainty.
I’ll try to find a way to escape from your loving arms just because ones like that have caused me pain before. And even though you’ll want to chase me once that happens, I want you to know that’s not what I’m looking for.
I’m not running away from you just because I want you to pursue me. I’m not looking for an escape just because I want you to follow my steps.
Instead, when you see me pulling away from you, going back inside my shell, I want you to give me a reason to stay.
I want you to show me that you’re not like all of the other guys, that you can love me the right way, and that you don’t want to break my heart.
I want you to look into my eyes and let me see into your soul and show me that your intentions are honest and that you won’t walk away the second things get difficult.
Even though I’ve been hurt in the past, I still know how to recognize honest emotions. I know how to spot a man who’s telling me the truth.
Maybe it will take me a bit more time to relax and convince my mind that it’s okay if I stay this time but I want you to know that it’ll happen once I see that you’re being real with me.
If you indicate that you want to show me how true love feels, I won’t have the courage to run away from you. I won’t be able to leave your side because my heart will know that I’m doing the wrong thing.
So, instead of looking at my back, you’ll still be able to see my face. It’ll be staring at your gorgeous smile, happy that I’ve finally found the one who won’t break me in two.
The moment I get the feeling that I’m home, my legs will forget how to run. They will keep standing in one spot, thrilled that the race is finally over.
The moment I find the person who’ll show me what true love feels like, I won’t even think about walking away. I’ll know that I’m supposed to stay when I get the sensation that if I move away, I’ll be the one who’s breaking my own heart.
So please, treat me the right way and show me that I’m supposed to stay.
Let me see how it feels when you’re loved by a real man who doesn’t want to break your heart and instead, he wants to put back all those pieces that have been torn apart.
Once I see that guy, I’ll stop running. I’ll stop pulling away from him the moment he shows me a sign that I’m supposed to stay.
He’ll be my soulmate, my match made in heaven, the one I’m not supposed to lose because he went through a lot just to get to me.
I’ll know that guy when he holds me in his arms and the only thing I’ll feel will be calm. I’ll feel safe with him because my heart will sense that he won’t hurt me.
He’ll come along with the intention of making everything ten times better than before and I can only be grateful for that. This will be the next guy who’ll walk into my life and try to love me the way I want to be loved.
If by any chance you see me running away from you, you should know that I don’t want you to chase after me.
Instead, I want you to give me a reason why I should stay and in that moment, my legs will finally stop running and I’ll give myself fully to you.
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