“I cheated on my boyfriend and I feel awful now.” This is the sentence no one likes to hear – or say for that matter. But it’s something that’s unfortunately rather common in today’s relationships.
People cheat for various reasons and some partners decide to give it another chance, while others break up. But dealing with the situation where you’re the cheater is tough and rather complex.
Why did you decide to cheat on your boyfriend in the first place? Well, there could be different factors that led to you cheating on your boyfriend.
I know that telling him the truth is difficult, but it’s your best option, trust me.
In most cases, people decide to cheat because they lack attention or love from their partner, so they seek it elsewhere. Or you cheated on your boyfriend because he was the first to do it and you had to get your revenge to make him feel bad for his actions.
Before figuring out what to do after you cheated on your boyfriend, you must clarify the reasons you did it. That’s the first step in helping you work through the problems you’re having with your significant other.
Maybe you had some relationship problems that your partner wasn’t aware of. As a consequence, he may have not given you enough attention and you simply didn’t feel loved by him.
If that’s the case, then you should openly communicate with him and tell him how you feel so that cheating doesn’t happen again.
Finding someone else has never been easier than it is right now. With the rise of technology and dating apps, anyone can do it.
I agree that it’s the worst thing to do, even if there are some relationship issues, because fixing something that’s already broken requires a lot of effort and sacrifice from the both of you.
How can you cheat on someone you deeply care for?
Well, no one can answer this question with certainty. It really depends on the reason you decided to cheat on your boyfriend.
So you cheated on your boyfriend and now feel awful about it. Yes, that’s true, but maybe you did it because you were only thinking about yourself and your needs in that particular situation.
Accepting the truth about why you did it in the first place will help you move forward.
There is no universal reason behind cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend.
It also doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re automatically a serial cheater. Maybe you only did it once and you realized that you made a terrible mistake.
But usually, people cheat because they’re having certain issues in their relationship. They make bad moves once they see that their partner isn’t satisfying their needs or wishes.
Loving your partner and being faithful to him aren’t directly related. The ugly truth is people hurt the ones they love all the time.
It simply happens, even if you’re not consciously aware of it. It doesn’t mean that you love them less, but it could be a red flag that your relationship is heading in the wrong direction.
That means that even couples who seemingly have a healthy relationship can still experience cheating in some form.
Maybe you have trust issues and low self-esteem, so that’s why you decided to cheat on your boyfriend. As a consequence of those feelings, your current relationship is suffering. And we both know that’s not good.
I cheated on my boyfriend – should I tell him?
There is no such thing as the perfect timing for telling your boyfriend that you cheated on him. The sooner you tell him, the faster you’ll start working on the problems you have in your relationship.
Being upfront and having an honest conversation about what you did won’t be easy, but trust me, in the long run, it’s so much better.
If you hide the truth from your partner for too long, then he’ll be even more upset once he hears that you cheated on him.
If you have to, take the time to figure out how you’re going to tell him what happened, but don’t procrastinate.
Remember, even if you were in a toxic relationship, he still deserves to hear the ugly truth. And I’m telling you this from my personal experience.
Give it a couple of days to think about the words you’re going to say to him. This is a pretty big deal and you shouldn’t take it lightly.
But the sooner you tell him, the better. Why? Because a broken relationship can be fixed if both partners are willing to put in the effort to make it work.
What would you do if you found out from someone else that your boyfriend cheated on you? How would you feel? Would you be upset and hurt?
Of course you would, so that’s why you shouldn’t keep your partner in the dark about it.
How do I tell my boyfriend that I cheated on him?
No one wants to hear that they’ve been cheated on. It’s especially hard hearing it the first time it happens to you. In most cases, you experience cheating when you’re in high school.
Nevertheless, the pain is the same even if you get cheated on when you’re older.
If you cheated on your boyfriend and want to break the news to him, your choice of words is everything.
Since you love him, you should definitely put an emphasis on that. Don’t overdo it and make it seem like things are prettier than they really are.
Let him know that you still care about him and that you choose him over everyone else.
Be prepared for his reaction, as you’ll have to have a lot of understanding in this situation. You just told him that you cheated on him, so he won’t accept it so easily.
Be sure to stay calm and relaxed, and hear him out, as it will help you ease some of the tension.
As I previously said, there are different reasons why someone decides to cheat on their significant other. If your boyfriend has something to do with it, then you should take it easy and gently explain the situation.
Don’t raise your voice or accuse him of something he hasn’t done. It won’t solve your problem and things will only get more intense between the two of you.
I cheated on my boyfriend – how much should I tell him?
It’s tough having a face-to-face conversation with your boyfriend when you know that you’ve hurt his feelings. It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth, but it’s better than to be saved by a lie.
So, your best option would be to give him as many details as he asks for. No more and no less than what he specifically asks you.
Make sure you’re being honest and open with him about what happened. If you start feeling nervous and bothered by all of his questions, then he’ll suspect that you’re still hiding something from him.
Start with the basics, tell him when it happened, where, and with whom.
Then let him ask you questions. If he wants additional info, then he should be free to ask you whatever he wants.
The worst mistake that you could make in this situation, especially if you’re in a serious relationship, is to upset your boyfriend any further.
If he gets angry and lets his emotions control him, then he won’t believe anything you say to him.
He has to know that he can trust you again.
Make sure you’re completely open to answering any of his questions he might have for you. Let him know that you’ll be truthful in your responses and that you won’t hide anything from him.
I cheated on my boyfriend – how will he feel about it?
The truth is that he won’t be happy with you or your relationship. But it’s for the best that you tell him what happened and that you’re honest about it. He has feelings too, and you have to respect them.
If you see that he’s overwhelmed by all the information you give him, take a step back and just be there for him.
He’ll be definitely upset about you cheating on him and if you see that he’s slowly pulling away from you, then stop sharing the details of your infidelity.
Let him calm down a bit and give him some space.
He might get mad and yell at you, so be prepared for that. It’s completely normal to react that way when you find out that your partner has been cheating on you.
If you’re afraid of his reaction, then think of a couple of things that you’ll say to him and put yourself in his shoes.
Think about how he’ll likely react, what he’ll want to know, and how much detail he’ll expect you to tell him.
You know him well at this point, but you can’t be one hundred percent sure how he’ll react to your confession, so be prepared for anything. He’ll be pretty devastated for sure and may not be able to control his emotions at first.
I cheated on my boyfriend and here’s what I learned from it
1. You can’t just forget about it
I know that the first thought of you cheating on your boyfriend was how you can delete everything and get rid of these awful feelings you have.
Well, it’s not possible to erase the mistakes you’ve made in the past. What’s done is done and you can’t change anything about it.
Even if you didn’t go out to purposefully hurt your boyfriend or weren’t aware of what you’re doing, you still did it.
It’s out there and you can’t take it back. Every single action and decision you make has a consequence. You have to remember that.
You can try to destroy every piece of evidence and delete the messages or their number, but that won’t ease your conscience. There’s no reset button.
And you can’t magically decide to forget about something you’ve done. The very act of cheating on your boyfriend will stay in your memory.
That’s something that will unfortunately stay with you forever, until you get rid of the guilt you’re feeling. And the first to do that is by confessing to your partner what you did and why you did it.
Just forgetting about isn’t an option. It’s impossible to erase something from your past.
But once the truth is out, you can start rebuilding your relationship from scratch.
2. You’ll soon feel awful about it
You might have a seemingly valid reason for cheating on your partner, but still, you’ll feel awful about it after doing the deed.
Why? Because once you cheat on your significant other, all the hard work that you’ve put into your relationship will have been in vain and for nothing.
He won’t trust you anymore because you betrayed him in a way that you’d never want your partner to do to you.
Even if you were mad at your boyfriend for not giving you enough attention, that doesn’t help you feel indifferent about the whole cheating situation. You still feel confused, sad, and awful about yourself.
On top of that, you may even be surprised that you were capable of doing that to your partner when you were the one always scared of being cheated on.
Maybe you talked to him about how you were betrayed by your ex and how you expect him to stay faithful to you, but now you’re on the other side and you feel devastated about it.
Even if your partner comes to terms with it and forgives you for your mistake, you won’t be able to forgive yourself, which is the worst feeling you can have.
You’ll always battle with your own feelings and thoughts and how you broke the trust you once had in your relationship.
We are each our own worst critic, so that’s why you feel like you’re the most awful person in the whole wide world.
You feel like a loser and that feeling sticks with you, no matter how hard you try to shake it. It’s a real struggle to forgive yourself.
You might even feel as if everyone who knows you is pointing their fingers at you, reminding you that you were the one who cheated on him. Everyone sees you now as a liar and someone who can’t be trusted.
3. Cheating will always impact your relationship
The chances of you being caught cheating on your boyfriend are very low, unless you’re a serial cheater.
I once cheated on my partner and I thought that I could get away with it and somehow magically forget about the awful deed I did. But the feeling of turmoil and guilt stayed within me.
I eventually couldn’t fight it any longer, so I ended up confessing to my partner what I did and started apologizing for things that were rather trivial and insignificant.
After some time, the accusations began, regardless of the situation. And most of those accusations and problems weren’t even worth mentioning.
It took me a while to figure out that it wasn’t me but my guilty conscience that was responsible for all those accusations and apologies.
Those emotions pushed me to say sorry to my partner for everything and anything because by doing so, I was subconsciously apologizing for my misdeeds.
So, if you’re facing those same feelings, you have only two options to get rid of them.
First, you can pretend as if nothing happened and let time heal everything. Or you confess what happened and hope that your partner won’t leave you (if he still cares about you and fixing your broken relationship).
No matter what you do, trust issues will still remain in your relationship for a long time.
4. There’s a reason why you did it
Cheating is a choice and not a mistake. The cheater did it purposely, knowing that their partner would be hurt.
The cheater was only thinking about their desires and wishes and not their partner’s.
I’m not saying that everyone is like this, but most people will cheat on their partner because they feel the need to fill a certain void in their unhappy relationship.
It’s important that you pinpoint the reason you cheated on your partner because in most cases, it’s much deeper than we think it is.
You have to dig deep inside your heart to find that reason, but once you do, it’ll help you get rid of the guilt you’re feeling right now.
Think about the things that have changed in your relationship, what’s missing from it, and why your needs aren’t satisfied? Have you been feeling lonely, unappreciated, and unworthy of love before cheating on your partner?
In many cases, people decide to be unfaithful to their partner because something was lacking in their relationship.
Maybe your communication was a bit off, there were no longer meaningful conversations with your partner. Or it might be that you lacked physical affection and those little things that mean a lot to you.
And even when you’d try talking to your partner about it, he’d misinterpret something or not fully understand where you’re coming from. Maybe you cheated on your boyfriend because he stopped making an effort in your relationship?
And I know it felt like you were stuck in a nightmare and the only way to escape it was to find someone who makes you feel desired once more.
But you have to realize the real reason behind your cheating act, so you can gradually work your way up to changing things – if both of you are ready to put in the effort.
And if that’s not the case, then it’s probably time to consider breaking up. Because there’s no point in being in a relationship that makes you feel unsatisfied and unhappy.
5. Cheating will definitely change you
Negative emotions are powerful because they can stay within you even years after the act.
It really depends on how strong you actually are and how you’re coping with the guilt you’re feeling after what happened. And this guilty conscience will definitely change how you behave in your future relationships.
You might choose to be in a manipulative or toxic relationship because you feel you have to be punished for what you did to your ex.
You may even have difficulties finding a partner because you feel that you’re unworthy of being loved and respected by another man.
Eventually, you end up in an endless cycle of toxic men who take you for granted at every chance they get. “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is constantly in the back of your mind, and as a consequence, your love life suffers.
6. It doesn’t mean that you’ll do it again
The phrase that I just mentioned, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” isn’t completely valid – it demands further discussion.
Even if you cheated on your boyfriend once, that doesn’t mean you’ll repeat the same mistake again. You shouldn’t be labeled as “unfaithful” for the rest of your life based on this one act.
It’s important that you’re sorry for it and that you confessed to your partner what happened. From your act, you’ve learned a valuable lesson and you’re not planning on making the same mistake twice.
The one positive thing about cheating is that you’ve learned the real weight of betrayal. And now you have to promise yourself that you’ll never do it again.
Remember to do your best to explain to your partner what happened and why. And if he’s ready to forgive you, then you can work together on fixing things in your relationship.
Time heals, but you need to play your part in mending the broken trust.