Divorces are difficult, especially if you’ve been married for a long time. It’s possible that it happened so fast that you weren’t even able to comprehend what went wrong. You might not even know why things ended the way they did.
Dating a woman who’s been through a divorce can be a big challenge. It is very demanding. You need to win the love and trust of a person who has just lost faith in all those things. So, it is important to be well prepared and aware of what she’s experienced.
Are you interested in such a woman, and still unsure how to approach this situation? I prepared some tips that might help you love a divorced woman the right way.
Understand her expectations.
First of all, you shouldn’t expect the same level of excitement that is usually present in a new relationship. Every woman who is going through the divorce process, and dating someone at the same time, is dealing with two relationships. One of them is ending, while the other one has just appeared.
Therefore, being in a relationship with such a woman requires a high degree of patience. She expects you to know what hurt her during the marriage. And on top of that, she’s definitely more aware of what she wants (and doesn’t want) in her life. That woman might expect you to behave more maturely and responsibly.
All those high expectations might frighten you. But there’s no need to be worried if you’re sure you know how to treat a girl the right way.
Respect her kids.
Always make sure to respect her children (if she has any). Be prepared that it may take a while for the kids to accept you. It’s a very difficult situation for them too. They are most likely already confused about what’s going on and who the new guy is.
So, give them some time, even if they seem unhappy about their mother’s new choice. They are probably just not sure how to deal with you at the moment. She will really appreciate your willingness to meet the kids and it is a positive step towards the relationship you both want.
Her kids don’t want to see her unhappy ever again. But, if you treat their mother well, they will definitely notice it. And when they do, you’ll have some new little friends in your life.
Reassure her (and her kids) that your intentions are good.
Promise her that everything you do for her is real. Show her that you won’t take advantage of her vulnerability. Tell that woman you fell in love with who she is. She’s fragile so she needs to trust you that you’re the one who’s going to make her feel real love.
Make sure you praise her. It’s obvious her marriage lacked something. And since their feelings disappeared, she likely stopped receiving compliments.
Tell her that you’re proud of her. Ask her about her day and then point out the things she did well. Always keep in mind that she must know you find her pretty, funny, smart, charming, attractive…
Those are probably some things that weren’t present in the last relationship, so give her that attention. Isn’t that what she deserves?
Try to understand her fears and act accordingly.
Listen to what she has to say about her marriage. What are some hurtful things her husband did? What was it that made her realize she wants a divorce? And finally, ask her what would make her happy.
A woman who’s been through a divorce is super careful when it comes to new relationships. She’s now more experienced and able to recognize toxic people. If she’s decided to open up to you, respect that! Everything she tells you is a piece of new information that can help you recognize her needs and wants.
Let her deal with her ex-spouse.
Whether you like it or not, her ex will come up as a topic. He was a part of her old life, and you don’t need to interfere – unless she asks you, or he’s making some big problems for the both of you.
I understand that it can be an issue for any new partner. Help her get over her marriage. Try to be an active listener if she decides to vent about him. Nod your head, and give small comments, but nothing more.
Stay patient because it’s not going to last for eternity. As time goes by, their feelings will calm down and their relationship will lose intensity.
Show your humorous side.
Since she’s been through a lot, she would love to have a person who brings a little bit of light to her world. Make her laugh and help her remember how beautiful this life can be.
You can even make a little list of the things you know she likes. Then use that list to plan future dates you know would make her happy.
Trust me, she’s tougher than you think.
Even though she might seem broken and hurt, she is one hella strong woman. She has been on her own, maybe with children, and she has learned how to be both the mother and the father, a woman and the man.
She might even feel like she can’t count on anyone else (including you) in the event of an emergency. But even though she’s tough, she wants to know that you’ll stand by her side.
There are many things you can do to remind her you’re taking her seriously. Tell her that it is okay to lean on you, be there for her when you think she needs you, and offer to help.
Show her you’re happy with her.
Dating a divorced woman has many benefits. She knows what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like and will always make an effort to make both of you happy.
She’ll give you all the attention her ex-husband never appreciated, and make sure to be different from him. The fact that she went through a divorce means that she knows how to communicate her needs so she’ll also help you learn how to deal with her.
A divorced woman has high levels of empathy, listening, negotiating, and emotion-managing skills. These are just some of the elements that will be beneficial to your relationship. So, prepare yourself to have the time of your life.
Enjoy living with this woman: she’s a real queen!