How Often Should A Guy Text You In The Beginning?

How often should a guy text you in the beginning? 

During the talking stage, everything seems like a small, insignificant thing. You’re so blinded by your rose-colored glasses that you’re really not paying much attention to his behavior. 

Everything could be a red flag, but with those glasses on it just looks like decoration on your road to happiness. He’s showing you so many good sides of himself that you’re not even capable of realizing what could go wrong. 

The truth is that you can see all the tell-tale signs that your relationship will succeed or not by the way he talks to you at the beginning. There are so many things you can look at to give you a good indication of where things are heading. 

The biggest problem here is that most women wouldn’t even think about asking the guy about what’s going on. We’re so scared to seem too interested or not interested enough, that we just go with the flow until we can’t take it anymore. 

The text messages keep coming or the convos have become extremely boring, depending on your situation. In both scenarios, there’s something to be said about his behavior towards you. 

So buckle up, grab your emotional-support beverage of choice, and get ready for a ride. 

How often should a guy text you in the beginning?

There’s no “one solution fits all” when it comes to the question of how often a guy should text you in the beginning.

Every person is different and we can’t assume that everyone has the same wants and needs in a relationship. I do believe that your boundaries are the most important thing here. 

You can always talk about your needs in a relationship. At the end of the day, he’s not a mind-reader. In your love life, you’ll meet so many people and everyone will have different patterns. 

For that exact reason, you can’t just judge everyone’s texting habits the same way. Did you communicate this with him? Or are you just silently hoping that he knows how many times you need him to text you each day? 

Either way, a rule of thumb should be that he texts you at least twice a day. 

There’s a good chance that this is not enough for you. You need good morning texts and good night texts. You need to check in on him much more often and simply know what he’s been up to. 

Social media has become such a prominent thing in our lives that you assume that everyone uses it the same. But in actuality, he could be a great guy who’s simply a bad texter. 

Twice a day he should reach out to you, definitely. He shouldn’t just assume that you don’t want to talk to him because he’s a shy guy. Get him to open up to you a little more or simply move on to phone calls if he’s not into texting so much. 

Twice a day is more than okay, considering that it takes everyone roughly less than a minute to reply to you. 

How often should a guy text you before the first date? 

How often should a guy text you in the beginning if you haven’t even been on a date yet? 

You’ve never seen his body language, so you can’t know the tone he uses when talking to someone. These little things can partially be explained through emojis, but it’s not always accurate. 

A good sign he’s looking forward to your date is when he texts you daily. He should have enough time in the day to reach out to you. 

Of course, girls text much more than guys. That’s why this seems like he’s not even trying to catch your attention. He doesn’t care about the fact that you want to talk more to him, he just texts you whenever he’s free. 

If you want some dating advice from me, then here it is: Online dating isn’t the best thing to rely on. You can’t expect him to tell you everything about himself and flood your phone with texts until he actually meets you in person. 

He may send you a few flirty texts before he really devotes himself to you. He’ll ask you flirty questions and be very open about his desires, but that may only happen a couple of times a week. 

So, the answer is that he should text you daily (at least once a day) before you go on your first date. This way you’ll keep up the communication and be interesting enough to each other when you’re finally face-to-face. 

How often should a guy text you after you’ve been on a date? 

From the first message to the first date, it’s not that hard to give someone a chance. You’re still so enthralled by him that his texting habits don’t rub you the wrong way (for now).

Now that you’ve met him in real life, there’s no real reason for him to skip a day of texting you. Even if he has something to do, he should definitely let you know beforehand. 

You’re still not sure about how much you can text without the other person thinking of you as annoying. One person is always more invested than the other, but the best relationship advice I can give you is to always talk things through. 

If he hasn’t texted you for a while and your head is exploding with questions, simply ask him what’s going on. The right amount of texting in this period is whatever you think of as acceptable. You don’t need to create a timeline based on the notions of others. 

However, if you do want a number, then a generally acceptable amount would be somewhere between two and four times a day. 

He can give you the attention you’re craving while also giving himself enough space to live his own life. No one is too busy to not have time to text you back. There’s always a moment that you can use to at least tell someone that you’re not going to be available. 

Even a one-worded reply is better than ghosting. But that may just be my opinion. 

Should you text him first?

I don’t think we need these gender roles anymore. If you communicated your boundaries with him and told him you expect him to text you first, and he still doesn’t, then it’s a clear sign of his disinterest in you. 

Nonetheless, it’s completely okay to text him first from time to time. 

Maybe you shouldn’t do it to the extent where you seem a little too desperate for your own good. Don’t double-text him or try to start a conversation with him every single day. 

If you do, you may make him a bit too comfortable. He’ll think that you’re so desperate for his attention that he won’t even put the smallest amount of effort into your relationship.

You can’t know if he likes you until he actually makes a few moves to prove it to you. This definitely includes texting you first on a daily basis. If you start a conversation now, it’s up to him to text you first the next time. 

You can’t just keep texting him all the time, hoping that he’ll come to his senses. 

But occasionally, you can text him, ask him how he’s doing, how he’s feeling, and so on. He’s going to be happy that you thought of him too and it’ll motivate him to text you the next time. 

This is especially important if you’re the type of girl who likes to sit back and wait for the dude to do all the work for you. I’d like to think that he deserves better. 

In the beginning, when you’re trying to get to know someone, you start to learn and analyze their texting habits. There’s a lot that goes into these things, so you’re simply wondering if you’re seeing what’s right in front of you. 

Dazed and confused: What do his texting habits in the beginning say about him?

You don’t want to think too much into it. That’s exactly why you have me to help you through this entire situation. It’s so much easier to have someone on the sidelines to explain everything to you. 

So, besides the answer to how often a guy should text you in the beginning, you can learn a lot more. 

1. He texts you consistently

One of the best habits when it comes to texting is when a guy is very consistent. He texts you in the morning, in the evening, and during the day. He would never skip any of these patterns without letting you know what’s happening. 

You can learn a lot about a person during this stage. The consistency of his texting can also tell you how he’ll behave during the relationship. This way you can also hold him accountable, because if he was able to text you every day without fail, then he has no excuse to stop doing it later on. 

2. He compliments you too much

You’d think that compliments are the best thing a guy can give, right? You feel seen because he recognizes the effort you put into your appearance and everything else you do. 

However, there’s a fine line between complimenting you and love-bombing you. When a guy compliments you, he’ll do it occasionally simply because he wants you to know that he’s being genuine. 

Once he starts to compliment you for every single thing you do, even if it’s just breathing, it could be a sign of something toxic. It may seem innocent and sweet, but it’s a manipulation technique. 

Whenever you post a picture he contacts you to tell you just how amazing you look. That gives you the affirmation you need, but he’s trying to catch you in his web so that you can’t leave. 

Don’t fall for this little trick. Even during the beginning stages, you can clearly see when he does this. It’s weird because he doesn’t know you yet but he’s doing everything in his power to make you obsessed with the feelings he ignites in you. 

3. He never asks you questions

How often should a guy text you in the beginning? Especially if he only talks about himself and never asks you any questions? 

Should this type of man contact you at all? When you know that he will focus solely on himself and won’t even care about how your day went…

This texting habit could be seen as a major red flag. It means that he doesn’t care enough to see how you’re doing. 

That’s basic narcissistic behavior. He’s so focused on himself that he couldn’t care less about you. You’re just a source for his narcissistic supply. 

That man genuinely believes that he’s incredibly interesting. He believes that whatever is going on in your life is just too boring in comparison. 

So, when you start talking about yourself, he tries to find a moment of your silence just to start talking about himself again. When this happens, you know for a fact that this guy isn’t the right one for you. 

I mean, you’re trying to get to know each other in the beginning. He should want to know more about you. Or am I wrong? 

4. The conversation is flowing

You know those awkward conversations when you’re just trying to find a topic with no success? The entire atmosphere in those conversations is just off. 

When you’re texting a guy at the beginning and the conversations keep flowing without much effort, you know that things are heading in the right direction. His texting habits clearly show you he’s fully invested in the conversation.

Whenever you hit a wall during a conversation, he doesn’t flinch but rather continues without much effort. He’s giving you a reason to continue talking to him. 

Why is this important in the long run? 

Well, he’ll put the same amount of effort into other things. Also, this means that you have the same style of communication, which can be very helpful. 

It should matter how often a guy texts you in the beginning, but the most important thing is that your conversations are flowing effortlessly.  

5. He uses a lot of emojis

You may dislike emojis, but there’s something about a guy who uses them that’s so adorable. Of course, I’m not talking about someone who puts emojis at the end of serious sentences or sends you inappropriate ones when you’re obviously not into that sort of thing. 

I’m talking about the type of guy who knows when and how to use emojis. He’s the guy who sends you a heart emoji at the end of the day. The guy who sends you a smiley when he’s trying to be cute. 

If he doesn’t use them because he never has and doesn’t want to change his texting style, then that’s okay. However, a guy who’s not shy to use them in order to convey his message in a better way is a wholesome one. 

This habit will give you a better insight into his psyche. If he uses emojis too much in order to seem controversial or passive-aggressive, then he’s not worthy of your time and effort. 

6. He responds right away

A texting habit that deserves all the praise – an instant response. Is there anything better than when you don’t need to wait for hours for some type of reply from a guy? 

He’s not that interested in you if he takes days to respond to you and I’ll fight you on this one. There’s no reason for him to sit around knowing that you’re waiting on a reply. 

He’s obviously using this technique to see if he can manipulate you. This man is playing a game of hot and cold, where he’s pretending in order to keep you in his life. But he’s not trying hard enough to keep you around nor does he want to commit. 

Yes, you can see all that by the way he texts you. So, how often should a guy text you in the beginning stages?​

He should text you more often than you text him. And he sure as heck shouldn’t take his sweet time trying to figure out what to say next to you.

How long should you be texting before going on a date?  

Besides the question of how often a guy should text you, another very good question is to ask how long you two should be texting in the beginning, before actually going out. 

You need to show him that you’re not going to stay in the texting stage forever and flirt with him just for nothing to happen. You need to see that he has an actual game plan and that he can stick to his word. 

Why would anyone flirt so much with you if he’s not going planning on taking you out on a date? 

Maybe you’ve even tried to talk to him about this, but he’s not biting. He always makes empty promises and gives you awful excuses for his stalling. 

In my opinion, there’s no need to wait too long. You can text a couple of days and then finally decide to meet up with each other in real life. 

There are so many benefits of sitting face to face with someone, that there’s no need to avoid meeting someone. You don’t even have to go on an official date right away, but rather hang out as friends. 

This way you’ll be able to see each other and figure out your compatibility. If you decide that you don’t like each other in that sense then you can always call things off. 

Until then, you can only know a small bit of information about a person. There’s no way to know if he’s really your guy if he continuously sends you mixed signals. 

If you don’t want to go out as a friend, but rather on an actual date with him, then I’d recommend you wait around two weeks to a month before going out.

If you ask me, there’s definitely no reason to wait any longer. Unless you live in two completely different places and for logistic reasons, you can’t see each other in real life. 

What to do when he abruptly stops texting you 

What are the chances you’re asking how often a guy should text you at the beginning talking stage because he just doesn’t contact you anymore? 

He texted you every single day in the beginning. You were constantly talking and a day without hearing from him wasn’t even an option. He was so adamant in contacting you that it’s so weird to go a day without it. 

Now he doesn’t contact you at all anymore. He’s gone off the grid and you can’t get hold of him. 

I mean, it would be okay if he just said that he didn’t feel the spark between you two anymore. He could’ve said that a relationship isn’t on his agenda right now. 

I guess honesty is a luxury today. 

Either way, there’s nothing you can do right now. Maybe you could start by asking him to explain the change in his behavior because you really thought you felt a connection. 

If he doesn’t respond to that either and continues to ghost you, then there’s nothing you can do afterward. He’s been avoiding you for whatever reason and you can’t just wait around for an explanation and closure. 

Move on. You can even climb back onto dating apps and you’ll know how to protect yourself from this type of guy the next time one comes along. You’ll be able to see the red flags as he moves through your DMs. 

Don’t just sit around and wait for a guy who doesn’t understand the amazing woman that you are. He doesn’t appreciate the time and effort you put into making him like you, so he doesn’t deserve to have you in his life any longer.