How do cheaters feel about themselves when they cheat on someone who loves them dearly?
Do they feel remorse? Do they feel good about themselves? What goes on in their mind and do we even want to know?
People cheat and we’re all well aware of that. If you are lucky enough to have never been cheated on, you will still know someone who has.
The pain is very obvious in the person who has been cheated on and they question their self-worth.
A person who has been cheated on won’t trust their next partner, no matter how loyal they might be.
When you have been cheated on, you question your entire relationship and you simply don’t know where to go from that point onward.
But how does a cheater feel when he cheats on his partner? What does cheating say about a person?
We asked eight men who have cheated on their partner one way or another to explain this to us.
1. I needed the validation
“Before I even start telling you what happened, I need to tell you that I feel horrible.
I feel like I betrayed my best friend, the love of my life, and it makes me hate myself.
I cheated on my wife with a co-worker who flirted with me for a long time. There is no excuse for my behavior.
However, let me just say that when you get to a certain age, you need that validation.
Instead of asking my wife for affirmation, I searched for it in someone else. That’s what happened.
I feel pathetic. My wife still doesn’t know and I don’t know how to tell her.”
– Matthew, 42
2. People cheat
“I didn’t feel anything. She knew that I didn’t want to be exclusive, but she insisted that I tried for her.
I hate monogamy and I don’t think we are made to be monogamous.
I don’t even remember the name of the girl I cheated with. We bumped into each other in a club and things just kind of happened.
Do I feel bad about doing it? No.
It makes me sound like a narcissist but my girlfriend knew what she was getting herself into, because I told her that I don’t do relationships.
She didn’t listen. People cheat, so what?”
– Chad, 26
3. She didn’t deserve that
“Oh my goodness, if I could turn back time, I would. Believe me when I tell you that I am so afraid of karma right now.
She didn’t deserve that. She was the perfect girlfriend; loving, caring, and gorgeous.
However, she always struggled with low self-esteem and I really wanted to help her with that.
If I said I don’t know why I did it, it would be a lie. I did it because at that time, my girlfriend wanted to wait until marriage and you know…
I feel absolutely stupid for using that as an excuse.
Last year, I made the biggest mistake of my life and I will never forgive myself. I came clean to her the next day about what happened.
She broke up with me. The pain and confusion in her eyes broke my heart.”
– Thomas, 30
4. I was drunk!
“This isn’t an excuse, but I was drunk. I didn’t even know what had exactly happened until I saw pictures on social media.
That morning, I woke up in a stranger’s bed and didn’t remember anything.
I had so many text messages from my (now) ex asking me why I did it and if she wasn’t good enough.
My friend proceeded to tell me what had happened and everything just came back in flashes.
When I say that I wouldn’t recognize the girl if she passed me on the street, I’m telling you the complete truth.
One bad decision after another brought me to the point where I lost an amazing woman, and for what? A fling? I am so pathetic.”
– Josh, 29
5. She cheated first
“I feel good about it. It wouldn’t have even happened if I hadn’t had a cheating spouse as motivation. She cheated on me with a very close friend of mine.
I simply couldn’t live with the fact that she had cheated on me so I went out of my way to cheat on her too.
She knew that I wasn’t a cheating husband and that it would have been the last thing I would have done.
However, she asked for it. She left me when she found out about what I did and is now in a new relationship with that no good friend of mine.
Great turn of events, wouldn’t you say? For some reason, she had the audacity to be mad at me for cheating when she was the one who did it first.”
– Chris, 47
6. Couples therapy saved us
“She forgave me but insisted that we went to couples therapy together. How could I say no when all I wanted was to make her forgive me somehow?
I feel remorseful and there isn’t a single day when I do not regret my decision. I’m so thankful she decided to give me a second chance.
The other woman was nothing but a fling that almost ruined my long-term relationship with my one true love.
I know I sound dumb because people say, “How could you cheat if you love her?” I don’t have an excuse.
We’re currently working on rebuilding the trust in our relationship and we’re trying to stay away from our negative emotions.
Last week, she told me that she loves me no matter what and I am holding on to that.
I will never cheat on her again.”
– Aaron, 33
7. Serial cheater turned monogamous
“Healthy relationships don’t come out of heartbreak, let me tell you that much. I cheated on my previous girlfriend with my current one.
I’m not proud of it, but I was a serial cheater. It was just so thrilling. I know that I sound extremely narcissistic right now, but it is what it is.
Those should have been red flags to her, but she continued to stay and she loves me nonetheless.
I would never cheat on her. I feel pain whenever I remember what I did in the past. However, she’s the love of my life.
She didn’t see me as a bad person and that’s why I decided to stop. I will never cheat on this woman.”
– Quentin, 29
8. I developed romantic feelings for my affair partner
“When I first cheated on my significant other, I kept it a secret for months. The problem started when I actually developed feelings for my affair partner.
I started a romantic relationship with her without my significant other having any suspicions.
When I realized that my feelings were stronger for the other woman, I had to tell my wife.
I felt like the worst person alive when I saw the expression on her face. She cried and yelled at me, and for good reason.
There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about that look on her face when I told her.
You could see that she didn’t believe her ears. That face haunts me even today. Sometimes I wake up from a nightmare where I hear her crying.
The guilt will never go away.”
– Brian, 38