Think aloud
Many people are concerned about how being cheated on changes you. Once your partner makes that move and cheats on you, you’re unable to understand what’s actually happening.
Your brain goes into denial at first, but when reality hits, it’s the most painful moment of all. You start to question your entire relationship, yourself, and so much more.
I believe that you’re able to feel how much this one, stupid moment of infidelity changes you forever. You can feel the chemistry in your brain shifting in an unrecognizable motion, leading you to feel lost and confused.
There are actual changes that your being will go through because of the trauma that occurred. It’s not something that you can fight, no matter how strong you think you are. This is especially true for people who’ve experienced this for the first time.
How being cheated on changes you
1. It ruins your perception of reality
For a very long time after being cheated on, you’ll wonder if your relationship was even real. You’ll start to think about all those moments when it was obvious that he was cheating on you, but you didn’t want to believe it.
You thought he loved you, that he would never hurt you, yet here we are. He’s the man who did his best to break your heart into a million pieces.
After you found out, he told you it didn’t mean anything, which morphs your perception of reality even more. How can it not mean something?
There’s a constant battle within you about the things that you know to be true and the things that the cheater is trying to convince you are true. However, you’re also confused about human nature, because you’re not sure how anyone could do such a thing.
2. It ruins your self-esteem
When you realize that your partner has been cheating on you, it’s quite possible that your first couple of thoughts will be connected to how you’re unworthy and that there’s something wrong with you, so that’s why he cheated.
It’s so easy to blame yourself when your partner cheats on you. You’re unable to blame him because you love him more than yourself. You’re unable to direct the entire hateful speech toward him because you want to love and protect him.
It’s easier to blame yourself, right? That’s why it’s so easy to lose your self-esteem and confidence. You start to ask yourself if you didn’t love him enough, if you weren’t attractive enough, if you could’ve done something to stop this from happening.
When in reality, there was nothing that you could’ve done to stop him. There were women far more successful and far more beautiful than you and I, and they were still cheated on. Those things mean nothing to someone who wants to cheat.
3. You’ll develop serious trust issues
Trust issues are a normal thing to develop after experiencing infidelity. I mean, he was able to pretend to love you while being intimate with another woman. You know now that someone can lie to your face and you won’t even realize it.
That’s why you’re set on not trusting anyone. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been trying to trust people, your brain is simply blocking that emotion, and it’s immediately jumping to distrust. You know that everyone could stab you in the back at any moment, so you don’t trust anyone anymore.
However much you try, it just isn’t working anymore. You’ve developed such trust issues that people have to make an extreme effort to even try to get you to loosen up.
That’s how being cheated on changes you.
4. Stress disorder
Did you know that you can actually develop post-infidelity stress disorder? It sounds like it’s made up, but it’s a real thing.
People experience so much stress and anxiety because of this entire situation that they end up changing their entire brain chemistry. The amount of stress that you’ve been through in this past period is what will keep a firm hold on you for a very long time.
You’ll have to consider actual psychotherapy, because otherwise, this will become the new normal for you. That’s not something that you’d want in your life, as it’ll make every relationship hard.
A stress disorder is something that you’ll have to work on for quite some time because, without it, you won’t be able to heal. It’s also hard to predict how long this process will last, but don’t let this become a chronic thing.
5. You become paranoid
Combined with the trust issues and everything else we’ve already talked about, it’s easy to become paranoid. You feel like everyone’s out to get you, everyone will lie to you, and you’ll never be able to trust anyone.
You stop telling people about the things you’re going through because you think they’ll use it against you. This paranoia will lead you to believe that no one’s intentions are pure and that you should just keep to yourself.
After a while, you can even develop serious issues that could lead to you believing that someone’s out to get you, that people are stalking you, looking at you, or talking about you. And yes, this is how being cheated on changes you.
It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.
6. It’ll be hard to find a new partner
One of the serious issues that you’ll face once you’ve been cheated on is finding a new partner. First of all, you’ll need so much time to move on from this, then you’ll need even more time to think about trusting people again, which will be a pain.
And imagine how hard it’ll be to keep trusting someone and creating a serious relationship with them. You’ll always ask yourself what’s happening and if your new partner is also cheating on you. This will break your heart even further because your new partner isn’t doing anything wrong.
But your gut is telling you to always be careful, so you’re not even able to relax in this situation. You accuse him of cheating on you, you become controlling, and none of it is your fault.
You just want to keep yourself safe in this entire situation, but it only leads to you pushing others away. And even though you want them to stay, and you’re aware that you’re doing something bad, once this person leaves you’ll blame them.
This is a very vicious cycle. That is how being cheated on changes you, and I know it’s scary.
7. Possible erratic behavior
You experienced infidelity, your brain is scrambled from all the pain, and your heart is shattered into a million pieces. You’re simply confused because you have no idea what’s happening around you.
So, when you’re trying for such a long time to keep your cool, you end up losing your mind every once in a while.
You start sleeping around like there’s no tomorrow, you start using substances, you start having panic attacks, and even lash out in anger when you feel like it.
All of those things are the aftermath of being cheated on, especially if you were never this person before. Infidelity can change so much within your behavior, and no one takes that into consideration. People believe that we have control over that, but we genuinely don’t.
Cheating isn’t just a fleeting moment in time, it’s not something that you can get over, it stays with you forever.