Think aloud
What if he’s not your forever person, after all?
We know what you’re going through: dating a man who’s perfect on paper, gets along with your friends and family, and seems like someone you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. While he sounds like Mr. Right, you’re wondering whether he’s Mr. Right Now.
When you’re in a relationship with someone you’re uncertain of, you’re probably picking up on a myriad of subtle signs that point toward the two of you not being right for each other. Maybe you feel like he doesn’t support your dreams. Maybe your values don’t align.
Whatever the case might be, you’re worried that you’re banking on spending the rest of your life with the wrong person. Just because he’s a nice guy doesn’t mean you’re meant to spend forever together. Just because your family loves him, doesn’t mean you have to love him.
You should be looking for more than a good man. You should be looking for the perfect person for you specifically, and you shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel that way. Walk away because if the following things aren’t true, he’s not your forever person.
He’s not your forever person unless…
1. He makes an effort to make you happy
When you’re in a relationship with a man who adores you, respects you, and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you feel like the happiest woman in the world. You’re safe and secure. You’re taken care of. You know you’re with the right person because every fiber of your being knows that, too.
Your forever person will want to see you smile every single day. You might fight from time to time, and you might annoy each other with silly things, but that doesn’t change the fact that you adore each other. Your Mr. Right will go out of his way to make your contentment a priority.
2. He plans dates
Why wouldn’t you want to be with a man who doesn’t sit around and wait for you to do everything? When you’re with your forever person, you don’t need to worry about a thing. The two of you spend quality time with each other every single day, go on dates every single week, and celebrate your love.
That doesn’t mean that you don’t plan your dates too, but you know that you can count on your forever person to take care of everything when you’re swamped at work or unable to make reservations. We’d go as far as to argue that your forever person will plan a date and pay for everything at least once a month.
3. He reaches out to you
When your partner doesn’t make an effort to reach out to you, respond to your messages, or stop by your apartment for a quick “I love you so much!”, he’s not your forever person. Your forever person wouldn’t be able to go a single day without seeing you, talking to you, or spending time with you.
Your Mr. Right wouldn’t let you question your relationship because you’re unsure whether he even wants to be with you. When your partner wants to see you and spend time with you, he’s showing you that he’s serious about you – when he doesn’t, he’s showing you that he doesn’t care.
Men are sometimes as simple as that.
4. He communicates with you openly and honestly
Communication can make or break your relationship; there’s no question about that. When you’re in a relationship with a man who’s serious about you, you don’t need to worry about him getting angry or annoyed with you simply because you dared to bring up a relationship problem you’re struggling with.
Your forever person will always have the time to talk about things that matter. You won’t need to fight him to get him to open up. You won’t need to beg and plead to get him to take you seriously. You will feel at peace every time you sit down to talk about something that matters to you.
5. He listens to you
When you’re trying to figure out whether he’s Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, pay attention to whether or not he listens to you when you’re talking about something that matters to you. Your forever person will always have the time to listen to you, offer you advice, or provide you with a shoulder to cry on.
Men are known to shut down when you’re trying to talk to them about something that’s boring to them, but the right man will never do that to you. No matter what they say, men behave better when they’re with someone they truly care about. Now, you need to decide whether that’s a deal breaker or not.
6. He comforts you when you’re upset
Without a shadow of a doubt, he’s not your forever person if he doesn’t care enough to comfort you when you’re upset.
Whatever your reasons for getting upset might be, your forever person will do everything in his power to make you feel better. Maybe he’s the one to blame. Maybe you misunderstood something he said and made a huge deal about it.
When you’re with your forever person, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that he can’t stand the thought of you crying over something he said or did – and that’s what makes him different from every other guy you’ve ever been with.
7. He makes an effort to get along with your friends and family
Getting along with your friends and family might not be what you’re concerned with right now, but that’s about to change. When you’re with someone who respects you and wants to build a life with you, your friends and family become a priority.
Your forever person will want to get their approval and blessing because these people matter to you – and you matter to him. You might not even ask him to do that, but he will go out of his way to prove to them how much he loves you.
Sure, he might not go on one-on-one brunch dates with your mother or agree to your father’s list of demands. Still, he will make sure that everyone around you feels equally respected, valued, and loved as you do.
8. He compliments you
A little “You look beautiful today!” goes a long way, but that seems to go over most men’s heads. After all, most men tend to shower you with compliments when they’re trying to get to know you – but when they’re already in a relationship with you, they tend to forget about the importance of compliments.
Well, he’s not your forever person if he doesn’t compliment you when you get dressed up to go out on a date or when you get dressed down to watch Netflix at home. When you start to feel like he’s taking you for granted, know that he’s not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
9. He flirts with you
Argh, flirting needs to be a part of every healthy relationship ever! At the end of the day, the two of you are supposed to be obsessed with each other. Why wouldn’t you want to flirt with someone you’re head over heels in love with? Why wouldn’t you want to flirt with someone you’re attracted to?
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for three weeks or three years, you should always prioritize flirting with each other, teasing each other, and working on your relationship. If he doesn’t flirt with you, he’s not the right one for you. It’s about time you faced the fact that he’s not Mr. Right.
10. He supports your dreams
Your forever person will always be your biggest cheerleader. Whether you’re thinking of starting a business, going back to school to get a degree you always dreamed of, or even quitting your career because you’re unhappy, you will be able to talk things through with him.
If he doesn’t support your dreams, you might want to consider taking a step back and reevaluating your relationship. It’s hard enough to find a man who doesn’t expect you to stay at home, cook, and clean – you don’t want to deal with a man who doesn’t celebrate your success and encourage your progress.
If he’s your forever person, he will be more than happy to stand by your side while you conquer the world.