First, let’s compare love to a flower. You may have heard this before.
Love is like a flower and flowers are dazzling, elegant, delightful, and very colorful indeed.
It’s never good to leave a flower ungroomed or overgrown.
You need to pour water on it, and sometimes it needs to be trimmed somewhat, so it looks nice, so you cut off its sharp edges.
Therefore, maintenance is the key to having a beautiful flower, just like it is with a relationship. If you don’t do that, the flower, or your relationship, will fade over time.
Women’s emotions are more intense, that’s a fact.
Saying that the woman has it harder when a man leaves her is an understatement and it’s a feeling that most women will go through in their lifetime.
Nevertheless, don’t lose hope. It’s not like it’s the end of your life. You just need time to heal emotionally and focus on what’s best for you.
However, if a man leaves you, you start to question yourself on why that happened.
“Was I not good enough for him?” “What did I do wrong?” “Was it me who pushed him away?” “Why did he leave me even though he loved me?”
Those questions certainly require answers. I know it seems like the end of the world when you are left without any.
Being in love is the most beautiful thing.
If you fall head over heels for someone, then your mind cannot comprehend the fact that he may leave you someday.
And that’s okay. It’s a natural process. Don’t think you are weird if you think this way.
Men seek love just like women do and when he feels like he is not enough for you, he will walk away.
That breakup is actually a sign from him that you are better off without him and that he is giving you the opportunity to find someone better.
It’s not the truth that hurts, it hurts if you don’t know it.
Since women tend to overthink more, days, months, or even years may pass as you try to figure out why he left you.
Your mind is at war with itself to figure out how to deal with the consequences of a breakup.
You are left on your own, not able to be freed from the shackles of the past, which is even worse than his act of leaving.
This type of thinking leaves you tied to him and holds you back from finding your true love.
Even though he loved you, he left you. Why did that happen?
1. You tried to fix him
This one is the most important and the main reason why most men will leave the woman they love.
You act like his mother, but trying to fix a man will get you nowhere.
We all know of some woman who dated a guy she didn’t like, but despite that, she was still with him and tried to change him.
She tried to mold his character the way she wanted.
If this happens, a man will run from you, no question. Even if he loves you, there is no doubt that he will leave you.
H. M. Harwood and R. Gore-Browne wrote in their play ‘Cynara’:
“That’s the trouble about marriage. Women always hope it’s going to change the husband. Men always hope it won’t change their wives—and both are disappointed!”
And that’s so true. A man doesn’t want someone who will change him.
He doesn’t want to be your little project. It will eventually lead to disappointment for both of you.
Even if he stays, his resentment toward you will grow and he will become bitter that you don’t accept him the way he is, but a huge part of love is being accepted by your partner.
He wants a partner who feels he’s good enough the way he is.
If he thinks that he is not good enough for you, that his flaws are too much for you, he will start looking for a way out.
You need to realize that a person doesn’t change just because someone wants them to.
You need to give him space to figure out who he really is, and after that, both of you can grow as a couple with the love and respect that you deserve.
2. You acted like a mom to him
Once you inhabit the pattern of telling your partner what he should and should not do, or how to behave in certain situations and what to think, then you are heading in the direction of becoming his ‘second mom’.
This is something that I see happening quite often nowadays but don’t think that you are there just because of his needs and emotions.
If you start taking care of him all the time and start to fulfill every wish of his, then in the blink of an eye, you will find yourself picking up his dirty socks, reminding him about his work meeting, or, even worse, reminding him of the last time he had a shower.
Darling, that’s not love. I know that you want him to be secure and comfortable but there is a chance that you will resent his behavior and the fact that you are the one taking care of him.
There can be an upside to it.
There are men who cannot take care of themselves and this type of man will gladly accept you and let you take care of him, just like his mother did.
This type of relationship mostly lacks physical interaction, so there is no action in the bedroom. Instead of being satisfied with every aspect of your relationship, he will leave you for someone else, because you don’t seem like a challenge to him.
If he cannot be intimate with you, then he will search for that happiness somewhere else. Even though he loves you, he will leave you.
3. You compared him to other men
The basis of every relationship is that you were chosen by that particular person.
Out of billions of men in the world, you chose him, and to experience that joy and happiness is truly satisfying.
When you start comparing your current partner to your ex or another man, however, you are walking on thin ice, my dear.
Even if he loves you, he will leave you.
Men seek that feeling of being exclusive to one girl, that he belongs to one woman.
He doesn’t want you telling him what your ex did differently or how he is better or something like that.
The only thing that matters to him is that he is the only one for you. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, that’s something that women are also searching for.
4. You wanted something more, better, or different
This one is hard to grasp, because all of us want to improve our relationship and fulfill our partner’s needs.
Nevertheless, the message you may be sending your partner is that you are not being emotionally satisfied and that he isn’t enough for you.
When a man says that he feels like you are not being satisfied, breaking up may be the best solution for the two of you.
Although, if you think that your relationship could work, then it is better for the two of you to work on your communication and have a better understanding of what the other person wants from you.
5. Your success was a threat to him
Studies have shown that a man lacks self-esteem if his partner is more successful than he is, even though you aren’t a direct competitor of his.
A woman’s success negatively affects a man’s perspective on which way their relationship is headed.
If he’s not ready to back you up and enjoy the fruits of your labor, most of the time, he will leave you, even if he loves you.
It is in your nature to do everything you possibly can to make your man happy.
You are there for him, you support him emotionally and he needs to respect that.
Loving someone means that physical and emotional needs are both being satisfied.
However, this often isn’t the case. Remember that you are a strong and fierce woman and you also deserve all of those things.
Even if the relationship doesn’t work, you will come out of it stronger and you will persevere because you are a fighter.