I recall it as if it were yesterday. He stopped texting me after we slept together and all I really wanted was some answers.
Sometimes, men simply do that. You and I are in the same boat!
He promised you a fairy tale and before you even blinked, he was out of your life. You didn’t even have enough time to appreciate his presence before you realized all that’s left of him is a handful of memories.
You’re searching for answers, just like I was a while back when nothing made sense to me.
It didn’t make sense that he was so nice, sweet, and caring, just hours before everything went down. The next morning, when we parted ways, he didn’t seem to care anymore.
You’re probably confused, too. You want to know if you’re the problem or if there’s anything you could’ve done to avoid this situation.
You’re going through the events of the few days before this happened, desperately trying to find any mistakes you made. But you’re obviously overthinking. It can’t be that complicated!
Believe me when I tell you that I completely understand what you’re going through. Just, please, stop blaming yourself for the time being. There are actual reasons that led to this situation and most of them have nothing to do with you.
In this article, we’ll cover the possible reasons for his behavior as well as some advice to help you resolve this issue.
Why would he stop texting me after we slept together?
Whoever said that men are simple creatures was a fat liar. Men are everything but easy to understand. That’s exactly why we’re here right now – many women out there have been in this situation and we just need some answers.
It’s not that easy to go up to him and ask him about it. You don’t want to seem too clingy or too pushy. You just want some answers.
For better or worse, you started catching feelings for the guy. Why wouldn’t you? He seemed totally into you and would shower you with compliments on a daily basis.
You’re now stuck on that one fact: “He stopped texting me after we slept together.”
Of course, you’re going to overthink this right now. You wanted to see where things would go and what the two of you could potentially become.
Well, good for you that I can finally help you find the answers you’re searching for. If anything, I want to help you because men obviously are awful at communicating and they’re completely unreliable at this point.
Don’t despair! Your answers are here.
1. You had different expectations
Miscommunication is a huge issue with people who have just met and decided to sleep together. The two of you didn’t even have enough time to get to know each other and get a better feel for the things you’re looking for.
You had different expectations regarding this little outing and didn’t even have a clue. You probably thought of it like a date, the next step to your actual relationship, and he didn’t.
He didn’t want anything serious from that moment onward. He just wanted things to stay casual and without any strings attached.
But you couldn’t have even known that when he obviously didn’t care enough to explain things to you. That’s what happens when you don’t know someone well enough!
You didn’t have the same expectations or intentions going into this thing. And now you’re left racking your brain for answers on why he suddenly decided to stop texting or calling you after you slept together.
2. He thinks you’re too easy
How long have you known each other? Was it just a couple of weeks? Less than that?
When you first meet a guy, nine times out of ten he’ll try to take you to bed. That may not be his intention from the first moment he lays eyes on you, but the chances are quite high.
So don’t be fooled by his sweet words and the little romantic gestures. It was all part of a bigger plan that he needed to execute. You just fell victim to it because you really did like the guy.
You thought that you had something special and that you were doing something for your future. He didn’t seem like the type who would just “hit and run,” but he obviously proved otherwise.
So once a guy like him gets what he wanted, that’s when he loses any further interest in it. If anything, he believes that you do this for every single guy you’ve ever met.
His little male brain can’t understand that you actually enjoyed his company enough to grant him your vulnerability. Of course, he can’t understand that, because everything he did and said was obviously a lie.
In my case, this is exactly what happened and when he stopped texting me after we slept together, I simply realized that he thought I was too easy.
He didn’t even ask me what it all meant, nor did he give me time to show him that I was honest and serious about us.
3. He thought that you wanted the same thing
In his head, there wasn’t even another option. He saw an opportunity to sleep with a beautiful woman and he probably misread your whole body language.
Just because you wanted this to happen just as much as he did, doesn’t mean that you wanted the same end result.
He stopped texting you after he slept with you and that, to me, just sounds like he didn’t give you a proper chance to begin with.
This man just wanted to get you in bed, make you his for the night, and then discard you like nothing ever happened.
For some reason, now he feels like he doesn’t even have to explain himself to you. It’s over. The deed’s done and you should simply move on with your life. Just like he did.
You’ll know that this is the case if he couldn’t get you out of his house fast enough. He probably made things awkward if you tried to stay the night and so on. You can’t really ignore signs like these.
4. He’s afraid of the conversation you need to have
When a guy is afraid of commitment, he’ll do anything and everything to avoid having a conversation that includes defining the relationship. He feels pressure that simply prevents him from texting you first.
He feels like he has to explain himself and that in itself is too much for him. A man who wanted to have a one-night thing with you will rather ghost you than speak up about his intentions.
This happens because the man doesn’t want to seem like a bad guy (although, he already is).
He just wanted to have some fun with you and giving you closure is simply too stressful for him. So this is how he copes, by completely ignoring your text messages.
That conversation could prove to him that he actually is an awful human being for using you like this. It’s easier for him to live in his own little delusional bubble for as long as he can.
Another reason could also be that he simply isn’t ready to have this conversation with you yet. He feels like he needs more time to figure out what he feels for you, instead of rushing into a relationship or anything along those lines.
If he just needs some time, he should be able to communicate this with you as well.
He should tell you what’s going on because no man in this world should have the right to keep you in the dark like this. You just want some closure, because this overthinking is everything but pleasant.
5. He enjoyed the chase too much
We’re all aware of the fact that men simply enjoy the chase a bit too much. They love hunting for prey that lets them play their little games and experience their little adrenalin rush.
Men feel the most alive when they have to chase something that doesn’t want to be obtained. That’s why people always say to play hard to get, to make him work for it, and so on.
Of course, you can see how much a man cares for you when you raise your standards, but sometimes it’s not that easy.
More often than not, you’re left with a man who loved to chase you just to have you for one night to prove to himself that he can have you if he wanted to.
In so many movies, men even bet on stuff like this. So don’t be surprised if he’s just one of those who have nothing good to do or say after they brought you back home with them.
This, of course, isn’t your fault! Please know that you have the right to sleep with whoever you want. There’s no set timeline on when you should sleep with someone. It’s the male mindset that’s the issue.
So just because “He stopped texting me after we slept together” is occupying your mind right now, doesn’t mean that you’re the one who needs to fix things. He was just not that into you from the get-go.
6. It wasn’t good
No girl in this world wants to hear this, but unfortunately, it’s a valid possibility. It’s quite possible that it simply wasn’t that good for him and that’s the reason he decided to stop texting you altogether.
However uncomfortable it might be, it’s something that should be talked about. You should be able to tell each other when you don’t like something that the other does in the bedroom.
You should be able to communicate these things and work on bettering yourselves.
However, a guy who has a huge ego would never tell you this because he feels like he doesn’t owe you anything. He simply doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.
You’re probably able to ignore the fact that it was an awful experience because you thought that he would stay in your life for a while longer.
You thought you two could work things out and that you could learn how to make each other happy (in more ways than one).
But if he had any feelings for you at the beginning, they’re just not enough to make him move past this.
7. He’s embarrassed
Did he do something embarrassing? Did he make a weird noise? Was it over too soon? Did you see something that made him feel self-conscious?
Well, to me it makes sense that he stopped texting you after you slept together if something happened that made him feel ashamed or awkward.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell him that everything’s fine, he refuses to listen to you. His mind is completely overtaken by thoughts of shame that simply don’t let him move past it.
He remembers the face you made in that embarrassing moment and now he won’t be able to let that go for as long as he lives. Because of that, it’s so much easier to just avoid you.
I mean, what would you have done if this happened to you? I can’t imagine that you’d try to explain yourself. You’d also be so mortified that you’d crawl into a whole where no one can find you.
You may think that it was nothing serious at all, but it was enough for him to react this way. It was enough for him to get scared off by your reaction. He won’t text you as long as he feels like he has something to feel embarassed about.
8. He actually has a girlfriend
Okay, take a moment. Think back to his behavior.
Did he always hold his phone face-down? Did he tell you that you had to meet on his terms only? How did he react when you asked him to go to a public place to have dinner or go for a walk?
All of these things could point to the fact that he actually has someone in his life already. Especially if you asked him to post a picture of you two and he became extremely defensive about this.
It’s completely disheartening to think this could be the case, because you would never even think of doing this to anyone.
He may have got bored of his current girlfriend. Or they had a huge argument and now he’s just looking for a quick fix.
If he truly did cheat on his girlfriend with another woman, of course, he won’t reply to your text messages. He’ll try anything and everything to avoid any type of communication with you.
It hurts, I know it does, but you have to take this possibility into consideration.
There are so many signs that you just slept with a cheater, but sometimes, we simply get blinded by the passion. That’s why I understand you completely.
He stopped texting me after we slept together, now what?
Okay, so you’ve faced facts that he’s ghosting you after you two slept together – no texts, no calls, nothing. But now what? Well, here’s some solid advice about what you can do now.
1. Don’t reach out to him
For starters, don’t be the first one to contact him. Don’t be the one to reach out to him and then expect him to explain everything to you. If you’re not in a relationship, he doesn’t owe you that explanation.
The guy may probably need some time to figure things out and when that’s done, he’ll approach you to chat about it.
When you’re the first one to reach out to him, you’ll just look clingy and needy. No one likes a girl like that because that just shows how co-dependent you are and that you’re extremely insecure.
He doesn’t have to know that you’ve been overthinking this situation to this extent. Let him believe that you’re just as indifferent as you are.
This will give him time to come to terms with his feelings, as well as show him that you’re not as easy as he may believe you are.
You will be able to process everything easier as well, because you won’t be stuck in a never-ending cycle of thoughts that obviously aren’t giving you any answers.
2. Focus on yourself
At this point, your brain is panicking: “He stopped texting me after we slept together, for Pete’s sake!”
You’re not even on the top of your game anymore, you’re just focusing on him and what went wrong. That’s the worst approach you can have right now.
Instead of dwelling on what happened and how you can fix this mess that you two have created, how about you focus on yourself? You shouldn’t be the only one overthinking and overanalyzing everything. Let him do some of the work.
When you focus on yourself, you’re not only occupying your mind with self-improvement, you’re also showing him that his presence in your life is insignificant.
And as a result, he’ll want to be more important to you. He’ll try to make you miss him and to get you back.
Although they don’t like to admit it, men want a girl who’s so focused on herself that she doesn’t have time to cry over a man.
3. Face the possibility that you may never hear from him again
It hurts. I’m well aware of that. But what are the chances that he’ll come back now and ask you for forgiveness?
Even if they’re quite high, you shouldn’t really want to have him back in your life if this is how he typically handles his emotions.
He isn’t able to communicate or talk things through. He just does whatever he feels is right in that particular moment and it obviously only serves his selfish needs. This man doesn’t even try to make things easier for you.
That’s why there’s quite a big chance that you may never hear from him again. You want him to text you and apologize for his absence, but be prepared that you may not get what you’re looking for.
The chances of that happening are rather slim, especially if it’s been more than a week since he last texted you. Just quit looking at your phone – he obviously doesn’t care enough to give you what you need.
4. Treat it like another breakup
The best thing you can do in this situation is to treat it like a breakup!
The guy I mentioned in the beginning stopped texting me after we slept together, and in my case, I really couldn’t afford to dwell on the situation for any longer than needed.
That said, I still really wanted to cry my eyes out. Why should I bottle up my emotions until my breaking point? That’s why I cried for a couple of days, ate tubs and tubs of ice cream, and watched the cheesiest movies in existence.
In other words, I’m not saying you need to treat this like something casual. It meant something to you and now you’re heartbroken.
It hurts! So, let that pain go. Stop apologizing for your emotions and stop neglecting them. You have the right to experience and process every single emotion inside.
Treat it like a breakup and I can promise you that you’ll get over him much easier. You didn’t make many memories or any plans for the future, so it should be a little bit easier for you.
Or at least I hope so.
5. When you really feel like you need to, text him first
At one point or another, you may feel an urge to text him. Definitely don’t do it right away, though, and rather give him some time to cool off.
But when enough time has passed and you feel like you aren’t able to get the closure you need by yourself, you have the right to text him.
When that moment comes, you’ll be able to decide what you want to say to him and how you want to phrase everything. His response will be all you need to find the closure you’re looking for.
He may tell you that he doesn’t even want to talk to you or he may apologize. He may just ghost you and pretend like you don’t even exist for him anymore.
If he does ghost you, you don’t have to ask any more questions. You can give yourself the closure you deserve, because that man clearly couldn’t care less about you. And you deserve so much better than that!