Think aloud
“Argh, why can‘t I find the words to express what I‘m feeling right now!? I thought that writing a goodbye emotional break-up letter to my boyfriend would make me feel less guilty or speechless. But, it’s only making me painfully aware of my emotions, or lack thereof…”
There’s no easy way to say what’s on your mind when you’re thinking of ending a relationship that took years and years to build. Or ending an era of living in a fairy tale with your best friend, lover, and soulmate. Or even a summer fling that’s brought you so many happy memories.
But, there comes a time when you realize with a heavy heart you have no other choice but to go your separate ways. To grow and flourish somewhere away from him. Away from his quirks and whims, his tweaks and twitches, and all the other things about him that’s been holding you back.
You have no other choice but to pack up what‘s left of your memories and pour into the parts of yourself you’ve neglected for years because you’ve been so caught up being someone else’s instead of being your own.
“Oh, how foolish of me to think I’d be able to put into words everything that’s been causing me pain.” Sure, typing “goodbye letter,” “emotional goodbye letter,” and “farewell letter” into your Google search bar won‘t solve all your problems. But, these unsuspecting words brought you to the right place.
Whether you’re writing a goodbye emotional break-up letter to your boyfriend because he betrayed you or because you no longer love him, here are a couple of hard-hitting and heart-warming templates you can use for inspiration (or word for word, I won‘t judge).
1. To the one who betrayed my trust
There‘s hardly anything worse than trusting someone, only to have that person break your trust into a million pieces. You thought you’d feel different when you found out the one you loved most betrayed your trust and cheated on you.
You thought you’d have a crying session over a tub of ice cream and sing your little heart out to Olivia Rodrigo’s angsty songs. God, you thought you‘d at least get drunk with your friends and give him a call while in the back of a gorgeous Greek god’s Aston Martin.
But, you’re in the middle of a reality check and you have no idea where to go from here. You feel like your heart’s about to jump out of your chest as you’re trying to remember the last time the two of you had a heartfelt conversation. What would you have even uttered?
And that’s what a goodbye emotional break-up letter to your boyfriend is for!
Dear You,
I never thought I’d be sitting on our sofa, looking through the window of our apartment, flipping through photographs of YOUR betrayal. There aren’t many words that could describe how I feel right now but devastated might be one of them. Stunned. Numb. Nostalgic.
I remember the first time you walked into my life. I knew there and then you’d become the biggest mistake of my life, but I didn’t want to believe myself. And I didn‘t want to listen to that gut feeling that was telling me something was wrong with you.
I certainly didn’t want to believe that someone who looks so perfect and innocent could turn out to be someone so cruel and treacherous.
Honestly, I don’t even remember the moment I realized I was in love with you. Maybe it was that Friday night when you took me to the beach and told me you’d never met anyone so “adorably annoying” as me.
Maybe it was the day I met your sister for the first time and she told me she’d never seen you as happy as you were with me. Or maybe even that time you looked straight into my eyes and told me what an amazing person you thought I was.
God, I could swear it was at that moment that I could picture spending the rest of my life with you. You felt like home to me. You felt like, for the first time in my life, I had someone I could unapologetically and unequivocally call mine. But you weren’t mine, were you?
You were with her while I was waiting for you to come home from “working late at the office.” You were with her while I was singing my little heart out, preparing you a delicious dinner because I wanted to show you how much I love you.
And you were with her while I was beating myself up over something I didn’t say. I was trying my best to fight for you when I felt you were slipping through my fingers. I was trying my hardest to prove to you and to myself that I was worthy of your love. Worthy of your attention.
You wouldn’t need her in your life if only I had done more or been more, right? You know, you might have made me feel that way before. But I won’t let you make me feel that way anymore. Nothing I could’ve done would’ve made you do things any differently.
It’s not who I was, it’s who you are. And now you’re free to go out there and live your life however you want to. Without me by your side. And you’re free to read this letter and throw it away just like you threw our relationship away.
I still love you, but I’m hoping I won’t for much longer.
Goodbye.
2. To the one I’ve fallen out of love with
How do you break up with someone who loves you more than anything in the world? With someone who’s given up everything to be with you? With someone who’s accepted your every flaw, quirk, and whim.
There’s nothing in this world you’d love more than to spare him the heartbreak, but how? You can’t attach yourself to him for the rest of your life out of remorse. You can’t expect him to grow older with you, knowing you’d never see him the same way he sees you.
Knowing you’d never make him happy the same way he makes you happy. ”Oh dear friend, how I wish I could love you like you love me!”
But, you don’t. And you’re painfully aware of the fact that sooner or later, you’re going to have to shatter his beautiful heart. Sooner or later, you‘re going to have to pray to God that he manages to pick up the pieces and glue them back together. Better sooner than later, trust me.
And in that vein, here’s a perfect example of an emotional break-up letter to say goodbye to the boyfriend you no longer love.
Dear best friend,
I never thought I’d be sitting in our favorite spot writing this letter. I never thought I’d be the one to say these words because I’ve become such a huge part of your life. God, I never thought I’d be saying my final goodbye.
I know you’re stunned, and I know you have no idea how to feel while you’re reading these words. I don’t deserve anything from you anymore, but I beg you to give me a chance to explain myself. To give me a chance to say I’m sorry, and thank you.
I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I know you’re going to say it was worth it in the end. You always held me to such a high standard. I know you’re going to hate the fact that I’m completely, irrevocably, and unequivocally responsible for ruining your life.
And I know you’re going to run back to my house and demand I listen to your side of the story, to your perspective, your reasons why I shouldn’t do what I’m doing. And you have every right to do whatever helps you get through this. But I don’t want you to get your hopes up.
I’m sorry for everything I’ve done from the moment we crossed paths. I made you fall for me, although, somewhere deep inside, I knew I wouldn’t be able to reciprocate your feelings. I knew I wouldn’t be able to give you everything you needed because God knows I was broken.
But, I wanted to believe I could change. I wanted to believe you were able to bring out the best in me, and you were. But, I don’t think that was enough for me to be anywhere near good enough for you. I wanted to believe I could make you my prince charming, my one true love, my soulmate.
And now I have to face the fact that you’re not. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, but you‘re not the person for me. You’re the most amazing friend and the most lovable boyfriend anyone could ever wish for. And you will always hold a special place in my heart. But, you’re not the one for me.
Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for everything you’ve taught me. And thank you for loving me when I couldn’t even love myself. I hope one day you’ll find someone who’s worthy of your attention and dedication.
Goodbye.
3. To the one who taught me about long distance
FaceTime sometimes just doesn’t cut it, does it? No matter how hard you try to act like you don’t mind the distance, the wondering, the questioning, and the hoping… you do.
You thought you’d be able to deal with the fact that you can’t see him whenever you want to. That you spend most of your nights waiting for a message or that dreaded FaceTime. That you cry yourself to sleep and wake up hoping one morning will be the last one you spend alone.
No matter how hard you try to make your relationship work, to make long distance work, you can’t. You can’t teach yourself how to live knowing the other half of you lives thousands of miles away. And you can’t bring yourself to live knowing you have to part ways sooner or later.
You can only hope that writing a goodbye break-up letter to your boyfriend (soon-to-be ex-boyfriend) can rid you of this emotional turmoil – this feeling of utter despair and helplessness.
My dearest,
I’ve been trying to think of the least traumatic way to do this. But, I’ve only managed to come up with the idea of writing you a love letter. Don’t you dare for a second think that a love letter can come anywhere close to explaining how I feel about you and our relationship.
Don‘t you dare for a second think that a love letter can come anywhere close to unveiling everything I‘ve been going through for the past couple of months. To accounting for this horrible thing I’m about to do.
You might think to yourself “Wow, she sounds angry with me!” But, I’m not angry with you – quite the contrary. I’m angry with myself.
I’m angry with the part of me that thought I’d be fine with not spending every second of every waking hour without you by my side. Not touching your face or kissing your lips every time those butterflies in my stomach remind me of how much I love you. Not hearing your voice or feeling your hands on my face every time I feel like my life’s falling apart.
I’m not fine, and I wish I’d figured that out a bit earlier. I wish I’d realized that before we got so tangled up within this web of missed FaceTime calls, unread messages, and sleepless nights waiting for the other person to come home and send “Hi.”
I thought I could be strong enough to endure whatever life throws at us. But, even though I’m almost one hundred percent positive you’re the love of my life, I’m not strong enough. I’m not strong enough to wait for you to come here or to wait for life to resolve itself the way everyone says it will.
This is it – this is my breaking point. This is the moment both of us have been dreading for the entirety of our relationship. God, this is the moment I was dreading because I didn’t want to be the one agreeing with everyone who told us we should go our separate paths.
But, here we are… Here I am, agreeing with everything everyone has ever told us about long distance relationships. And here I am, writing the hardest goodbye of my life because I’m unable to deal with the hardships of being and staying in one.
Goodbye, my love.
4. To the one who hurt me the most
Breaking up with someone you love seems like the hardest thing ever – until you find yourself breaking up with someone you hate. You want to scream and punch him in the chest. You want to make him hear you loud and clear that he’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.
But, you don’t because you know better. You know better than to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s broken your heart, your spirit, and everything that‘s ever been yours. You know better than to show him he’s changed everything that was beautiful and innocent about you.
How do you even say goodbye through an emotional break-up letter to the boyfriend who’s never really been that… a boyfriend? How do you write a goodbye letter to a boyfriend who’s done everything to hurt you more than anyone who came before him?
Oh, dear mistake,
I‘m mustering up the courage to write this letter, although I know you can’t hurt me anymore. I’m hoping that, by putting everything you’ve done to me into words, I’ll be able to get some closure and get over you. Yes, I’m hoping I’ll be able to get over the man who hurt me more than anyone else.
I’m aware that my words might sound despicable to someone unassuming of the narcissistic, cheating, egotistic maniac that you’ve become over the course of time. And I’m aware that there’s something to be said about the fact that, regardless of what happened between us, I still have feelings for you.
But, I’m learning to ignore them until they go away. I’m learning to live with them and to live with the shame of knowing that someone like you managed to trick me into falling for a bunch of lies and empty promises. I’m learning to stand my ground and stand up for myself.
God, you’ve hurt me more than I ever thought possible. You manipulated me into thinking I was nothing without you. You gaslighted me to the point where I was questioning my own sanity and worth.
And, you lied to me about my friends, my family – even my dog (what has Coco ever done to you, you monster!?) Oh, and don’t even get me started on the fact that you drove everyone who loved me away from me so that you’d be the only person in my life.
You broke me into a million pieces and made me pick them up, one by one, and glue them back together. You made me a shell of the person I once was without even batting an eye. And to think that there was a time I thought you did that because you loved me.
But the moment you laid your hands on me, I knew it was over. And I knew I had to get away from you even though you tried to convince me otherwise. “I didn’t hit you, I just pushed you because you made me so angry! I never would’ve done that if you’d only kept your mouth shut!”
Don’t you worry, I will never keep my mouth shut ever again. I will tell everyone about everything you’ve ever done to me and pray to God you never do that to anyone else. I will hope for the rest of my life I don’t ever have to see your face again.
Goodbye. And good riddance.
5. To the one that got away
“Summer after high school when we first met…”
You‘ve bopped your head to Katy Parry’s The One That Got Away on more than one occasion. But you never thought you’d be writing a break-up letter to the one that got away from YOU.
You never had an inkling you’d ever have to break up with someone you loved with every fiber of your being. But life has a way of throwing curveballs at you when you least expect it. You never thought you’d have to let him down, yet here you are.
Don’t worry, we have a goodbye emotional break-up letter to your boyfriend that’s perfect for what you’re going through.
My love,
There aren’t enough words in the English language to express what I’m going through as I’m writing this letter to you. My hands are shaking and my heart’s beating out of my chest. My head feels heavy and overflowing with thoughts “What am I doing!? Am I making the biggest mistake of my life!?”
Oh God, I can’t say I don’t remember the first time your eyes met mine. They smiled at me as they caressed my body and wandered back and forth from my lips to those unruly strands of hair covering my eyes. They looked straight into my soul and I knew… This was going to hurt.
We loved each other so passionately and so ravenously, as if we were aware that we wouldn’t last long enough to quench our thirst for each other.
We brought out the best in each other. You taught me how to deal with my anxiety without locking myself in my room for the rest of the day. And I taught you how to redirect your anger into something productive. Argh, we were perfect for each other… Until we weren’t.
Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Things haven’t been working out for quite some time and there’s nothing either of us can do about it. And we shouldn’t even try because we both know that good things come to an end eventually.
We can’t force love, we can’t force happiness, and we certainly can’t force each other to restore something that’s been lost before we even noticed anything was wrong. We were great, my love – we were great while we lasted. And we will continue to be great even as we go our separate ways.
Goodbye.
