It’s tough picking yourself up after being heartbroken and the one thing you don’t want to repeat is to be hurt again.
What most people do is build walls so high so that no one can climb them. We yearn to love and be loved but at the same time, it’s what we’re most afraid of.
Each of us has our own wounds which took a long time to heal and because of that, we’re often afraid to give our heart to someone else. At all costs, we avoid being hurt again by someone who means the most to us.
You should know that giving love a second chance after being heartbroken is definitely tough but it’s not impossible.
The power of love is magnificent. While it can destroy you, it can also be the thing that helps you tear down your walls, get back on your feet again, and remind you why being loved is the most beautiful feeling that you can experience.
I understand that you’re afraid of giving another person a chance to love you and I know this because I was in the same situation after getting my heart broken by a narcissist.
I was so scared and angry at myself that I forgot what it meant to love someone. Eventually, however, I found ways to overcome my fear of falling in love and so can you too.
1. Look at your past
As you’re trying to find a way to give love another chance, you have to look at your past mistakes. You need to define them and realize what went wrong.
What issues kept coming up? What did you do to push love away?
As you try to ease that inner voice, you’ll start to notice patterns that kept repeating over and over again in your past relationships.
Maybe you had a problem being acknowledged by any of your partners or it could be that you’re angry at your exes for not putting in enough effort.
Once you identify the issue, you can track them back to their roots. Is there something from your childhood that made you feel insecure about yourself or maybe your family members put you down?
Behaviors or attitudes that you experienced as a child can have a tremendous impact on what you consider true love to be but once you understand how your past shapes your present, you can free yourself from those shackles and improve your love life.
2. Face those inner walls
I understand that living among those emotional walls is the spot where you feel most comfortable right now. You feel safe and secure and think that no one can hurt you there.
Pain is something that’s unfamiliar to that place but unfortunately, love and joy can’t reach you there either.
Even if you feel the safest right now, there will be a time when emptiness will crawl in there and you’ll see how much you’re missing out on life. So, are you wondering how to break free from that dark place?
The best way to achieve that is by challenging and attacking those emotional walls. Prove to them and yourself that your past experiences only made you stronger, both emotionally as well as mentally.
Your past mistakes don’t define who you are as a person and it shouldn’t stop you from experiencing true love. Even though giving a piece of yourself to someone else is scary, the reward should always outweigh the risk.
3. Know that not all men are the same
You’ve heard the phrase before ‘all men are the same’ and you may have used it a lot yourself but it doesn’t relate to real life.
There are good men out there who get easily overshadowed by all those toxic ones but you just fail to see them.
You’ve convinced yourself that one bad experience or a streak of bad relationships is all that is out there in the dating world but the reality is quite different. It’s true that good men are hard to find but it’s not impossible.
Don’t give up on love just because an immature boy or two caused you pain. The next time you go on a date with a guy, don’t overthink about his intentions too much or whether or not he’s going to hurt you.
It’s okay if you want to take things slowly, as you shouldn’t rush things either, but give that man the benefit of the doubt and let him prove himself to you.
It’s important that you feel safe and secure around him but you’ll never know whether he’s the right one if you don’t give love a shot.
4. Mix things up a bit
Does it seem to you like every relationship you enter ends the same way? If so, then maybe you should mix things up a bit and rethink how you choose your man.
Find someone who’s the complete opposite of your ex and go on a few dates with him. Don’t think that he’ll cause you pain like the last one did, as you never know what the future holds for you.
Whatever it is that you decide, don’t rush into things. Start to date him and see how things develop from there.
If you don’t feel like there’s chemistry between you and him, then suggest being friends with him for a while first.
It’s true that your perfect partner should also be your best friend. Just make sure that you can trust him and that you feel safe enough to give love a second chance.
5. Embrace your feelings
Even if you feel sad or unhappy, you should embrace those feelings as they’re only temporary. Eventually, new ones will come along.
You can’t experience true love without the risk of being hurt again. No one wants to be hurt or cry themselves to sleep every night because they’re heartbroken but the possibility of feeling pain is always inevitable.
If you embrace that pain and sadness, then you’ll be more open to the idea of letting love into your life again and you’ll be brave enough to take a risk.