I gave him enough time to change. Maybe even more than he deserved.
He had his shots to prove to me that his intentions were serious. He had many opportunities to show me that he didn’t want to play games with my heart.
But I guess he decided that he can’t limit himself and commit to me only. He needed many more girls in his life in order to be happy.
At first, I truly thought that he was the man for me. His sweet words swept me off my feet and I felt like I was floating.
I remember how I asked myself if this was the way you feel when you meet the one. My heart was racing and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I was infatuated by his presence, and then all those strong feelings started to turn into love.
The butterflies in my stomach went berserk every time I saw him. I always felt nervous in his presence because I wanted him to see me in the best light possible.
I now realize that I was a fool, but that’s a story in itself.
He pulled me in, like a magnet, and I couldn’t resist him.
My rose-colored glasses that distorted the world around me were now on, and that was the beginning of my end.
He made me fall in love with him. I gave him my whole self and became a prisoner of my own heart.
I ignored the looks he gave to other women and how he neglected me to go out with his friends. But the worst thing is that I said nothing the moment he told me that he didn’t want to commit because labels stress him out.
I have no idea what was going through my mind at that moment. But to stay quiet after hearing one of the worst sentences in my life, that’s still a puzzle to me.
The one who rejected every other guy who told her that he’s not the commitment type now willingly decided to stay with the one who was exactly like that.
Shocking, I know. But he put a spell on me and I totally forgot who I was before him.
My standards, values, beliefs – they all flew out the window and I had no idea what was happening to me.
I let him play his games with me. Chased after him and pursued him like he was the best man in the world. I treated him like he was a rare diamond that I’d never again be able to find.
And he liked that treatment. He liked the throne I put him on.
It made him feel like he was the one in control. He was holding the strings and I was just a puppet.
Things were going just as he wanted them to. He got himself a fool to run after him while he still had time to chase after other girls.
But one morning, as I woke up, it dawned on me that something was wrong. I realized that I’d changed and nothing felt the same.
Who was this girl in the mirror? It sure wasn’t the real me.
Because the real me would never let a guy play with her feelings and treat her like a toy. The real me would walk away the very second you show her disrespect.
I realized that I’d been a fool this whole time and that I shouldn’t allow this treatment anymore. It was time to stop the game he was playing with me because I finally refused to accept this kind of behavior anymore.
I looked myself in the mirror and said out loud:
“From now on, I refuse to be his backup plan.”
I packed my stuff and left his apartment. Once I arrived home, I deleted his number from my phone and erased his name from my heart.
From now on, I’ll never call him or answer his calls. I won’t ever let him get close to me because there’s no way that he’ll ever change. And there’s no way that I’ll tolerate his behavior anymore.
Just like that, I removed him from my life and let myself know that I would never again let anyone treat me the way he did.
From the very beginning, he was bad for me, but I guess that I fell for his charisma and all those sweet words he showered me with.
But I’ve put an end to his games and there’s no going back.
He called my number multiple times, but I never picked up. He came to my home and knocked on my door, but I never welcomed him in.
I have no intention of being his backup plan anymore. I have no wish to chase after him because I know that he’ll never change.
Once a player, always a player. And I’m not going to let myself go through the same torture ever again.
He was bad for me from the very beginning, but I guess he was supposed to teach me a valuable lesson.
Sometimes, certain people will walk into your life and they’ll be bad for you from the start. They’ll be toxic and manipulative, or they’ll treat you like a backup plan.
And deep down, you’ll know that they won’t bring you anything good. If anything, they’ll only scar you and ruin the person you once were.
But, still, you’ll let them walk into your life and make chaos out of it. You’ll let them walk over your values and standards you always told yourself you’d never break.
All of that will happen only because they’re your lessons. The ones you’ll never forget.
They’ll teach you that no matter how strong you are, there’s always someone who can break you. But it doesn’t mean that you’ll stay broken for the rest of your life.
Instead, one day, you’ll wake up and realize that you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You’ll pack your bags and walk out of their lives.
Just like that.
The same thing happened to me. I realized that I refuse to be his backup plan and I left.
Just like that.