Once you tie the knot with that special person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it’s important to know how to create friendship in marriage.
The moment you say your vows, your partner also becomes your lover, the person you can always rely on and, most importantly, your best friend.
If any of these elements are missing, your marriage could be a struggle.
Once you get married, it’s not only important to keep the flame of a romantic relationship burning, but to ignite the one of friendship.
This right here is the most important relationship of your life. It will shape you and make you grow into the person you’re supposed to be.
That’s why it’s vital to always keep the emotional connection going – to never forget that your partner is your biggest support and the one person who’ll always be there for you.
It’s important to experience friendship in marriage and know how significant it is for both you and your partner. But for all those newlyweds who believe that marital friendship spontaneously appears the moment you tie the knot, I’m sorry to inform you that you’re wrong.
Like everything else in life, building friendship in marriage requires time and effort. It needs your full attention and the will to create a meaningful connection with your spouse.
But once you see the fruits of your labor, you won’t regret any of the moments you devoted to creating a close friendship in your marriage.
Why is friendship in marriage so important?
Think of marriage as a relationship with one person that you’ll be stuck with for the rest of your life.
Now, do you want that person to be your best friend – someone with whom you share emotional intimacy and can entrust everything that bothers you?
Or do you want it to be with someone you like to spend time with but there’s no deeper connection between the two of you?
All happy marriages are founded on the fact that the spouses have created a healthy atmosphere where they can openly share everything in their hearts and on their minds.
They’re playful and funny with each other, while at the same time run into each other’s arms the minute something upsets them.
The bond that they have is unbreakable and serves as a foundation of a healthy marriage.
You look your whole life for that one person who’ll make everything better.
You’re over the moon when you finally find the right one for you, but it feels like you won the lottery the moment you realize that your spouse is also your best friend.
Now, let’s see why friendship in marriage is so important. Is it really predestined to make your marriage better than you expected it to be?
Spoiler alert – the answer is “yes.”
1. It strengthens the bond between a married couple
After years of being married, it’s normal that the bond between a couple can start to fizzle. Life gets in a way and you find yourself busy all the time, trying to balance work and home obligations.
Mortgage, paying the bills, raising kids – all of these things make you forget about your spouse and you start to lose the connection you used to share.
That’s why friendship in marriage plays such an important role. When you’re aware that your spouse is also your close friend, the connection that you have never dwindles.
Even if you’re doing housework together, you’ll still find time to have a meaningful conversation while folding the laundry. You’ll laugh with each other while doing the dishes.
Once you sign up for a marriage that includes friendship in the package, you and your partner make a promise that you’ll always be each other’s priority.
This strengthens the bond that you share and is the first step toward having a long-lasting, successful marriage.
So, even though you’re together, the moment you leave the house for several hours, you get a feeling that your miss your spouse. It’s because of the strong bond that you share.
You know that your partner is your biggest fan and even though you’re always spending time together, you don’t grow bored of each other and can’t imagine anyone else would ever replace them. They’re not just your spouse but also the friend you’ve been looking for your whole life.
You know that your marriage is destined to last when it’s built upon the foundations of strong friendship and mutual respect.
2. Friendship in marriage creates an open-communication zone
Do you know that feeling where you’re free to share all of your thoughts with your partner? Even the darkest ones that you couldn’t ever tell anyone because you were too afraid?
Maybe you think that this feeling comes with getting married. Maybe you believe that once you tie the knot, you’ll find yourself in an open-communication zone where no topic is off-limits.
But would you believe me that many marriages aren’t familiar with this feeling?
Being free to speak openly with your partner is something you have to work on. It doesn’t come as a wedding gift to newlyweds.
But when you work on nurturing friendship in marriage, you’re at the same time also working on creating an atmosphere where you’re free to talk with your partner about anything and everything.
You know that your spouse is your biggest emotional support. No matter what happens, you can always share your feelings with them and they won’t ever judge you.
You don’t have to hide anything from them because you know how it feels to have a strong marriage that’s based on a solid friendship.
Nothing can bring you down because you have each other’s back, no matter what.
You have a best friend and soulmate all wrapped up in the same person. And what more could you ask for?
3. It makes you feel safe in your marriage
Not all marriages can make you feel safe.
We’re aware of the increasing number of physical or emotional abuse cases between married couples. The divorce rate is rising and you never know what’s hiding behind the corner.
But when you marry your best friend – when you know that your marriage is based on a deep friendship – you instantly feel safer.
And why wouldn’t you? We all feel safe when we’re surrounded by those we can trust.
This best friend of yours who is also your spouse allows you to go through life, looking for your happiness, while always having someone who has your back.
Your partner will be there for you and never hold you back from any opportunity that knocks on your door. Instead, they’ll make you chase after your dreams and always remind you that you need to be your own top priority.
This friendship in marriage also allows you to seek your partner’s advice, no matter the issue. You know that your spouse will always come up with a solution that’s best for you and never make you do something that in any way harms you.
When you make your marriage look like this, you’ll know that you’ve succeeded in life. You’ve got everything you need the moment you got married to your best friend.
4. It gives you peace of mind
Knowing that your marriage is built on friendship gives you peace of mind. When your spouse is also your friend, you know that nothing could destroy the strong bond that you share.
Call him up in the middle of a busy day and he’ll make sure to give you the best possible advice. Ask him to do something for you and he’ll say yes, no questions asked.
He’ll hold you safely after you had a nightmare and take over all of the housework because he wants you to get some rest.
When your spouse is also your best friend, you’ll notice how much he cares about you and the way you feel. He makes you his priority because that’s what you actually are.
In the same way he’s your favorite person, you’re also his one and only.
There’s no better feeling than being sure that your friendship is up for a bright future because you’ve got peace of mind knowing that your spouse would never leave you.
Because best friends never leave each other.
5. It makes you enjoy each other’s company
After you say “I do,” your life forever changes. All of the work that needs to be done and the responsibility of raising kids will steal time from you.
Now, your partner is about to see you in every possible edition, but you know what? He won’t ever complain.
You could be folding laundry with your hair up, wearing his oversized shirt, and he’ll still think that you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on.
He’ll sit right next to you, help you with what you’re doing, and you’ll have the best conversation of your lives.
It’s all because friendship in marriage creates this ever-present atmosphere where you always enjoy each other’s company, no matter what.
He might be washing your car in the driveway. You’ll go out to help him and end up having a ball chasing each other around the house.
Everything is fun when you’re married to your best friend. Every second you spend together is valuable and creates special memories.
And no matter what you’re doing or how you’re looking at that moment, you’ll always appreciate the time you spend together in each other’s company.
It only matters that you’re together. Everything else doesn’t come up nearly as important.
Ways to maintain and strengthen friendship in marriage
Friendship in marriage is something you have to work at. You can’t expect to have it if you aren’t prepared to work for it.
But with the help of these tips, you’ll be able to improve your marriage and develop one of the most important foundations in it – friendship.
Let’s see what you can do to improve the friendship between you and your spouse and make your marriage the best it can be.
1. Try new things together
If you’re wondering how to strengthen friendship in marriage, then simply say yes to trying new things.
Couples should always try to find some common interests – things that are equally fun for both partners.
You probably had a lot of fun while dating. You went on adventures and tried new things together.
So, why stop the moment you get married? Instead, rather keep the connection going and always keep exploring new fun things together.
By doing so, you strengthen the friendship that you used to share while you were still dating.
Actually, you even give it a bigger meaning. Since your relationship has grown more serious, you’re showing each other that even after being married for years, you’ll always be able to maintain the fun.
You won’t let your marriage turn into mere routine and convenience; you want it to be so much more than that. And trying new things allows you exactly that.
2. Don’t avoid arguments
Real friendships and healthy marriages support arguments. They’re all about having meaningful discussions for the sake of improving a relationship.
So, if you want to know how to maintain a friendship in marriage, then don’t shy away from arguments and disagreements. When you feel that there are some things left unsaid and your partner needs to know about them, don’t be afraid to openly share your feelings with him.
Even if you end up having a heated discussion, chances are that you’ll get through it in the best way possible.
You need to think of your spouse as your best friend. You’d never let your friend live in denial, right? You’d share your concerns and try to look for the best solution.
Well, that’s exactly what you need to do with your partner as well if you want to build a true friendship in marriage.
It will help you grow both as individuals and as a couple, and your relationship will become that much stronger for it.
3. Keep the playfulness
Having fun is one of the most important things if you want to build friendship in a marriage. If you can’t have fun together, then you aren’t real friends.
No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been married, you should always make sure to keep things light.
Treat your partner as if he’s your best friend and always have some fun together. Tease him, develop your own inside jokes, or play games that make you cry with laughter.
The important thing is to keep the spark burning and to remind each other daily that you’ll always be able to laugh with each other.
4. Be a good listener
Real friends listen to each other’s troubles even when they can’t help. They provide a safe space to express your feelings and let the burden off your shoulders.
So, if you’re trying to strengthen friendship in your marriage, you have to be able to do the same.
If you notice your partner has been struggling with something and hasn’t been himself lately, hold his hand and let him know that he can talk to you. Let him share his feelings with you and try to understand where he’s coming from.
Even when you can’t solve his issues, a place where he can freely express himself is the best thing you could offer him.
5. Maintain interest in your partner
We all want to get to know our partner better when we first start dating. But once you get to that comfortable stage in a relationship where you feel like you know everything about your spouse, your interest in him may start to fade.
But if you want to strengthen friendship in your marriage, you should never allow this to happen to you. No matter how long you’ve been married, there’s always something about your partner that you can get to know.
This deepens the friendship, strengthens your marital bond, and makes you realize how lucky a person you are.
So, let your partner know that you’ll never get bored of him and that there’ll always be something new to learn about him.
If you chose him for life, make it stay that way!
6. Always make time for each other
Once the honeymoon phase is over, married couples tend to sail into the phase where everything becomes a part of a routine. At that point, keeping the spark alive can get pushed way down on your list of priorities.
But when it comes to strengthening friendship in marriage, it’s the one thing you should work hard not to do.
Your partner should always be your priority and your best friend, no matter what. Even when life gets in the way, it’s crucial that you always find some time for him.
15 minutes a day doesn’t seem like a lot, but even that’s enough. It gives you a certain amount of time in which you can have a meaningful conversation that’s only about the two of you.
Leave your phones on the side, focus on each other and show your spouse that he’s still the only person you ever wish for. This way, you keep the spark burning and you strengthen your friendship. It’s a win-win situation.
7. Give your partner space
In both friendship and marriage, personal space is an important part of a relationship.
You can love your partner unconditionally and want to spend every second of the day with him, all while still letting him have his life.
So, it’s important to maintain a balance between spending enough time together while still letting your spouse go after his goals.
You should always be your partner’s biggest support and make him go after every opportunity that stands a chance at improving his life.
Being in each other’s company all the time and not letting each other grow can only make your marriage toxic and unhealthy for the both of you.
That’s why you should let your partner spread his wings and go after everything that can make him grow as a person. Once you see how happy it makes him to have someone who supports him and pushes him forward, it’ll all be worth it.
8. Enjoy the small moments and little things
When he brings you your favorite chocolate, don’t dismiss it as no big deal. Instead, try to recognize that he was thinking about you while picking up groceries.
When he picks few flowers from your garden and leaves them by your bedside table, don’t think that he could’ve brought you a real bouquet. Instead, appreciate that he remembered that you love flowers.
This is the right way to not only build friendship in marriage, but keep the romance alive.
Whenever your partner does something for you, no matter how small it looks, don’t forget that in those moments he was thinking about you. He wanted to do something to make you happy.
So, you can either appreciate the gesture and realize that you have a kind-hearted husband, or you can ignore his actions and act like it’s nothing special.
But trust me, the latter won’t take you far.
9. Never betray your partner
When you’re trying to maintain a friendship in marriage, you should always keep in mind that you and your spouse are playing for the same team. So, if you by any chance betray him, it also means that you’ve betrayed yourself.
No matter how hard life gets, never choose to support someone else while your spouse is waiting for your support. Never let him see that he wasn’t your first pick while he always makes you his number-one.
If he’s always there for you, then you should be always there for him. That’s the only right way to make your friendship grow and strengthen your marriage.
Once you betray the trust that you’ve been building for years, it’s almost impossible to get back. There’s no going back in time and making things the way they were.