Many people will think that you’re difficult to love for no apparent reason.
More often than not, it’ll be just because they’re so used to giving minimal effort in every relationship that they think you’re the issue. They’ll say you’re high-maintenance and just too much work for them.
What the man you’re seeing doesn’t understand is that you have standards. He thinks that you’re just another girl who’s asking for too much. When in actuality, you’re the girl who’ll give him just as much as he gives you in return.
I was in your shoes before. I know that it’s not very comforting when someone tells you their story, but I hope you give me a chance to explain what I mean by that.
Whenever I’d meet a guy, we’d go on a few dates and after a while, he’d start to show less and less effort. He wouldn’t come to pick me up for a date, he wouldn’t text me first, and he’d think my past trauma was just an inconvenience for him.
You can imagine how heartbreaking that is.
You and I, just like so many other women, have a lot of trauma left from our past relationships. Men believe that they’re entitled to us.
When someone didn’t appreciate your love before, it’s hard for someone new to understand where you’re coming from. Especially another man who’s never had to deal with the cruelty of an abusive relationship.
He doesn’t understand your needs. He doesn’t see how much his dismissive attitude hurts the deepest parts of you.
When I met my ex, I thought that love would finally make sense. I thought I wasn’t unlovable, for the first time in a while. But he made sure to quickly prove me wrong.
After he made me his, he figured he didn’t have to show me any affection anymore. He stopped listening to my problems. He didn’t care that I had night terrors. And he didn’t find it necessary to be there for me when I needed him.
It was frustrating to seek someone out so often, just for them to remind you that you’re asking for too much.
When I told him that I can’t be in a relationship with him if he’s going to treat me like I’m nothing more than a burden, he said that I didn’t understand how hard it was for him. I was so confused, but he said it’s all because I’m too difficult to love.
He called me too much to handle, because of how broken I was. He said he couldn’t deal with my traumas anymore and I had to ask for less.
Let’s be clear for a moment: I didn’t ask for diamonds, I didn’t ask him to be my therapist. I simply thought that my boyfriend should want to hug me when I’m crying. He didn’t have to let go of everything for me, nor did he have to make me top priority.
I knew I couldn’t ask for that, because I wasn’t anyone’s priority before him.
However, when I met my current boyfriend, he made me realize that I didn’t ask for too much. He took his time in showing me that I have a right to expect the things that I’m willing to give.
And just because a woman had a difficult past, it doesn’t mean that she’s a difficult person.
You’re not a difficult person to love. I can assure you that because the right guy will do everything in his power to remind you that you’re lovable just the way you are.
He’ll never roll his eyes when you’re communicating your needs, nor will he be uninterested in the things you’re talking about. Don’t even think for a second that your Mr. Right would call you too emotional for crying or laughing too loudly.
There’s nothing you could do that’d be too much for him. You’re everything but difficult to the man who’s there to love you unconditionally.
Until you find him, don’t settle for anything less. I know that you’re bound by your own habits. You’re so used to being treated like you’re just a waste of time. But you absolutely cannot live like that any longer.
You need to understand that there are men out there who just want a trophy. They want a woman who’ll be pretty and smile at gatherings. They want a woman who doesn’t have any needs, but rather spends her time doting over him.
You’re not that woman, just as much as I’m not.
I’ve seen so many women around me settle for less, out of fear of being too much, so they stay quiet and take what they get. They’re even thankful for the morsels they get in return.
Leaving your current relationship isn’t an easy thing to do. You love the man even though he’s making you feel miserable about yourself. He makes you believe you’re a needy and clingy woman who doesn’t have a life.
You’re so much more than that. The right man will see your true potential, recognize your pure heart, and mend all the broken pieces you’re carrying around.
So, don’t stay in an awful relationship just because you’re afraid that someone can’t love you more. They can. That I promise you.
I assure you that there’s someone out there who won’t make you feel like you’re difficult to love. He’ll show you just how easy it is to make you smile and keep you happy.
If your man doesn’t make you feel like that, then he’s not the man for you.
I know that it hurts, but you will get over the guy who gives you minimal effort. But you’ll never forgive yourself if you stay and continue to suffer through this relationship.
Find yourself a man who’ll show you just how easy love actually is. Because if things aren’t natural and going smoothly, then it’s mediocre love – and you don’t deserve it.
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