Having a best friend is important in everyone’s life. You share your deepest secrets with them and you have fun. But what does it mean to have a female best friend?
You’ve probably heard a bunch of phrases about how a guy and a girl can’t be friends. Yet, you know a lot of those friendships that function. Are you curious how they made it work?
Well, as someone who’s in the same situation, I can tell you it’s a blast! Not only is your bestie going to help you find the girl of your dreams, but she’ll also always be by your side.
As a matter of fact, if you had an argument with your guy friends, she’ll listen. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I assure you she’ll be there.
She’ll gladly help you if you’re not sure whether you should dress casually for your first date, or which shirt to put on for an interview. Does green make your eyes pop, or is it blue? Should you buy your girlfriend a rose or chocolate for Valentine’s? Just ask her!
Obviously, there are plenty of reasons why this kind of friendship can be both a blessing and a burden. In this article, I’ll shine a little light on the situation. Ready?
8 reasons why you should have a female best friend
Friendships are made on a daily basis. Sometimes we don’t even realize it, but here we are, spending a lot of the time with a person who has the same taste in music as we do.
The basic definition of a friendship is just a mutual affection between two (or more) people. But we all know it’s not that simple. It goes beyond that interpersonal connection.
Friends are those people who will overlook your bad habits and love you with all your imperfections. They will be there whenever you need them; they challenge you and inspire you.
Friends are the family we chose, right? But, what happens if you’re a guy and you have a female bestie? You might be reading this article in order to, once and for all, clarify if a guy and a girl can be friends.
So let’s talk about all the things that make your female best friend special and why you should have one.
1. She’s going to be your wing-woman
Yes, you’ve read that correctly. She’s going to be that cool girl who introduces you to new people. For starters, girls are blessed with a genuine instinct for approaching people.
Small talk is never a problem and reading body language is a piece of cake for them. Not to forget, they have a lot of beautiful friends too.
You’ve noticed how girls communicate easier with strangers than men do, and nobody takes it as a weird thing? They can start a conversation out of nowhere and keep it going for a decent amount of time.
Whether you guys are in the club, in a café, or just casually strolling around the city, be prepared to meet someone new. Every time you guys go out, it will be an adventure!
If you watched How I Met Your Mother you’ll understand what I’m saying just by reading this sentence: “Have you met Ted?”
It worked every single time!
2. You’ll finally see things from a girl’s perspective
Let’s be real, how many times were you confused by a woman’s reaction? One too many to count?
Even if it’s your mum or sister, sometimes it’s hard to understand them. Your gal-pal will be there to support you and help you crack the code.
She knows how to recognize the needs of another person in a heartbeat. She’ll help you put all the pieces of the puzzle together and make it obvious why your girlfriend rolled her eyes and told you she’s fine.
You’ll finally understand why girls think little things are super important and why they spend so much time choosing a proper gift for someone they care about.
In other words, she’s going to be your go-to person whenever you have some “girl issues”.
3. You’ll get in touch with your feminine side
This might sound a bit weird, but I’m not saying that you’ll be more feminine, nor that you’ll start liking chick flicks.
What I’m trying to say is that you won’t be that emotionally unavailable guy girls usually talk about. And, trust me, there is nothing bad about this. You’ll be able to express your feelings and talk about them more openly.
Being surrounded by boys will help you man up. But, having a girl as your best friend will help you understand not everything is about that.
We are often taught that men should be strong and put up with all the problems they encounter. In silence. I don’t agree with that. We all need to vent and cry from time to time.
Your girl best friend will help you verbalize what’s bothering you and communicate better. For these reasons, having her by your side will give you a chance to improve yourself and grow as a person.
4. She’ll motivate you through tough times
Whenever you are doubting yourself, she’ll be there to prove you wrong. In fact, she knows exactly what to say in those tough times.
When you think you’re not good enough to approach your crush, she’ll give you some advice and boost your confidence. She will even be your wing-woman (as previously stated).
Your bestie will find something good in every bad thing that happens to you. And she will be your anchor in a storm.
Do you think you are not capable of following your dreams? She’ll prove you wrong. Hell, she’ll even push you to follow them and be your biggest cheerleader!
5. She’ll always be by your side
Needless to say, your female best friend will be your biggest emotional support. Remember the last time you felt down and your bros ignored it? This is not going to happen if you talk to her.
She’s going to help you with the emotional baggage you might have. She’ll listen to you, even if you want to discuss topics that make no sense. Like, do fish have a thirst for water? Why does the rain drop, but the snow falls?
She’ll help you get back on the right track after a heartbreak. And she will be your mum, sister, or childish cousin you secretly hate. She’ll be all that and much more!
6. She’ll give you free relationship advice
As I already mentioned, having a female best friend can be a great asset. Not only will she listen to all the problems you may encounter, but she’ll also help you solve them.
Okay, not exactly solve them, but she’ll help you get to the root of the problem. Afterward, she might give you some advice, but of course, it will be up to you to make the final decision.
Do you think your girlfriend is being dramatic over a minor inconvenience? Does your sister keep annoying you with choosing the perfect nail color? Or does your mum keep asking a bunch of questions about your friends?
Keep in mind that having her by your side will come in handy in these situations.
7. She’ll make shopping easier
When was the last time you actually enjoyed shopping? Don’t think for too long.
If you have a female best friend, you’re the lucky one! You are the guy who combines colors like a pro, and you always know when is the right time to go shopping.
Whether we’re talking about shops with branded clothes or random thrift stores, she knows exactly where to look for the shirt you just told her about. In fact, she knows it even before you’re done talking.
Oh, and you have the best company. Girls know a thing or two about fashion and put that extra into an ordinary activity.
So, if you still don’t have a girl buddy, this is your sign to hurry up!
8. She’ll tell you the truth
Yes, you can expect she’ll always tell you the truth. Even if you don’t like it. Don’t expect her to sugarcoat things as she’s not going to be the one to beat around the bush.
Do you want to know what went wrong in your previous relationship? Did you make a wrong decision because you applied for that job? Should you be worried about climate change?
She’ll give you an honest answer to all of these.
Are you in desperate need of feedback? Just ask her! She’ll be straightforward and point out what’s good as well as what you need to work on.
5 problems with having a female best friend
Alright, we went through all the positive things about having a girl as a best friend. But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies.
Like in any other relationship, there may be some difficulties. So, what are the major problems guys are facing when they have a female best friend? Time to find out!
1. Nobody believes you’re just friends
It’s going to be really hard to convince people you’re just friends. But don’t get easily annoyed by this.
Yes, you’ll get a lot of “Yeah, right.” or “I’m not buying it.” type of responses. Being closely connected to a girl on a platonic level will be hard to explain.
Hence, none of the guys you usually hang out with will believe it. Nor will your family if we’re being honest. How can you spend so much time with a girl and call her your best friend? In their eyes, it’s not possible.
But the trick is, the more you try to explain it, the more they’ll doubt it. So, just let them think whatever they want.
2. She might assume she’s your +1 for everything
This might be the biggest problem. Once you call her to be your +1 for a formal event of the company you work for, she might assume she’ll always have to jump in.
One of the trickiest situations here is family events. For example, your cousin is getting married, or you are celebrating your grandma’s birthday.
As we already said, it’s highly unlikely they’ll buy it that you guys are not dating, so this might be really exhausting. Normally, you want to avoid annoying questions from your family members, so you’d rather go alone.
Also, going to the club together means all potential flings think you’re taken. So, you’ll have to be completely honest and tell her how you feel about it.
3. She’ll probably hate your girlfriend
There is a new girl in your life and you’re paying more attention to someone else now. This is one of the reasons your girl best friend might think you’re forgetting about her.
People tend to feel rejected after you decrease the amount of time you used to spend with them. They think there’s no place for them in your life anymore.
For example, if you reject your best friend’s call for karting on a Saturday because you already made plans with your girlfriend, she might take it as a sign not to call you again.
A new person that entered your life is “stealing” you. And who is she going to blame for losing her guy best friend? Your girlfriend, of course.
She might start saying things about your partner that are not true. Or even start making up things just to “win you back”. She will start complaining about her and constantly judge her in your presence.
Therefore, you have to pay attention to both of the girls in your life. But make sure you set boundaries that will be respected.
I’m not saying that you have to forget about your friends. Au contraire. You need them.
You’ve been together long before your girlfriend got into the picture but you have to clarify some things. Especially to your gal-pal. She has to understand that your priorities have changed, and the only way that will be possible is to openly talk to her.
4. Her boyfriend hates you
Imagine if the situation was the other way around. What would you do? Would you hate the guy? Probably yes. Especially, if she feels comfortable around him and he makes her laugh.
I’m not going to lie. Being in this kind of situation is not going to be easy. But, if you care about your female best friend, no doubt you’ll try to fix the situation.
One of the things you can do is to actually hang out with her boyfriend. Ask him to spend some time with you and your guys. Try to include him in activities you usually do with your friends. Sooner or later, you guys will be buddies.
Then again, make sure you don’t push too hard. You never know how your bestie will like the idea, so better check with her first.
5. Your female best friend will (definitely) tell you things you don’t want to hear
Women are, to put it nicely, slightly complicated beings. Ask any guy, and I can assure you he’ll agree with that statement. Presumably, you think the same.
What are the chances you really wanted to know if your best friend is having one of those days, or she’s just cranky for no reason? In fact, do you really want to know if she has cramps or why her head hurts?
I think not.
Who started dating in her fave TV series? Tips and tricks on how to make a guy jealous? Which hair mask is the best and what are the stars telling you?
Another no.
For the most part, you’ll have to listen to the girly things and wonder why on Earth is she telling you all of that. However, buckle the hell up my dude, you’ll learn something new.
The drama of having a girlfriend and a female best friend
As you could see by now, this won’t be an easy task. You might happen to find yourself between a rock and a hard place, but be patient.
Here are some things that can cause drama in your romantic relationship.
1. Your girlfriend sees your female best friend as a threat
Did someone say “drama”?!
I know you might overlook this, so that’s why I’m saying it first. As you wouldn’t be comfortable around your girl’s best guy friend, chances are she won’t be comfortable around your bestie either.
What is up to you in this case? You have to reassure your girl.
There was a certain moment in your lives when both of you and your bestie were single, yet nothing happened. Pay attention that you don’t sound like you’re trying too hard to convince her. She may think it’s a lie.
You have to nicely explain that you chose her over all the other girls including your bestie and that you’d do the same thing all over again.
Don’t leave a place for assumptions and be honest with your partner completely. Show her how much you love and respect her. She’ll appreciate that.
Try to organize some activities where they might bond. For example, go hiking together and start asking some random questions like what’s their favorite movie, who’s their role model, or what they wanted to be when they were young.
Eventually, each girl will understand what you like about the other person.
2. Your girlfriend hates your bestie
Having another important woman in your life, and it’s not your mum nor your sister, might cause your girlfriend to say those terrifying four words: “we need to talk”.
This makes you turn on the defense mode and can cause an argument. In order to prevent this, talk to your girl before she even mentions your female best friend.
Understand her point of view and answer all the questions she might have. Make sure you talk through all the worries she has and eliminate them.
Nurture a healthy and loving relationship with the one you chose and there shouldn’t be any problems. That way, your girlfriend will inevitably know both she and your bestie are important to you. Each in a unique way.
3. Your female best friend does not respect the boundaries
Is your bestie calling you or texting you more often now that you have a girlfriend? Is she complaining that you’re not spending enough time playing video games with her?
For example, your best friend knows you’re with your girlfriend in a cinema watching the latest Marvel movie. Still, she keeps calling you and texting you about plans that you guys made for tomorrow.
Don’t you think that’s too much?
Of course, she was in your life before this girl and yes, maybe you used to spend a lot of your free time with her. But things have changed. Your priorities have changed.
You have to find a way to tell her how you feel about the whole situation. I’m not saying you should put some rigid boundaries because you can lose her that way.
Try to explain to her that you’ll still have time for video games and endless conversations about the guy she’s madly in love with. But, you need your privacy.
Communication is the lifeline!
I can’t emphasize this enough: there is no place for jealousy!
Having a girlfriend and a female best friend is going to be a lot of hard work. You’ll have to learn how to communicate better. It is also up to you to remove any doubts your girl might have.
Yes, you have a bestie. And yes, it happens to be a girl. Nonetheless, that does not mean you’re secretly in love with her, nor that you can’t have a romantic relationship with another girl.
It’s normal for miscommunication to happen, but you have to be vocal about what you want and how you feel in each situation. Only that way you’ll be able to build healthy relationships with people around you.
The situation you’re going through can either be a blessing or a life lesson. It’s up to you to figure it out.
With all this in mind, if you’ve found a girlfriend and a female best friend in one person, congratulations! You’re the luckiest man in the world!
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