Does it seem to you that every time you talk to your partner about your emotions, he simply ignores your words and continues behaving the same way? Are you feeling disrespected in your relationship?
Most people forget about their own needs and wants when they start a romantic relationship with someone. You’ll commonly find that one partner dedicates their entire energy to fulfilling everything their partner wishes for.
But being disrespected by your partner is one of the worst things that you can experience. That’s especially true if you’re giving everything you’ve got to make them happy and they don’t reciprocate.
Your self-esteem takes a knock and you start to question whether or not they’re right for you.
Once you realize your partner doesn’t respect you as much as you respect them, you need to make a few changes if you ever want to have a healthy relationship.
What does it mean to be in a disrespectful relationship?
A disrespectful relationship refers to a relationship in which one partner doesn’t feel valued. Perhaps your partner has been taking you for granted lately or treating you poorly.
All those things are signs of disrespectful behavior. The worst thing is that this behavior can lead to an abusive relationship.
Truthfully, most victims don’t even realize they’re in love with a disrespectful person. Perhaps they’re blinded by love or they never were in a respectful relationship in the first place.
Whatever the reason might be, a relationship like this is bound to fail. The awful and unfair treatment of one person is the most common reason so many couples break up.
Clear signs of disrespect in a relationship
There are many forms of disrespect in a relationship. You should never ignore them as a lack of respect can lead to more serious problems.
Eventually, those issues start to have a significant impact on your health and you begin withdrawing into yourself because your partner refuses to even listen to you.
If you recognize any of the following signs, then you can be sure that you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship.
The silent treatment
If your partner is giving you the silent treatment and doesn’t seem to care what you’re telling him, take that as a pretty solid indication that your partner doesn’t respect you at all.
Does your partner not respond to you during or after you had an argument? Perhaps he just sits there and looks at you like you’re a crazy woman who doesn’t know what she wants. That’s actually a sign you’ve got yourself a disrespectful partner who will never even try to understand you.
Most relationship experts will agree that the silent treatment – or stonewalling as some might say – is one of the worst forms of disrespect that you can experience from your partner. And that’s because we usually don’t notice it at first. It’s a sneaky technique that most narcissists use to lure you into their trap.
Their goal is to weaken your mind to the point where you start to question your own sanity. They passively blame you for everything bad that happens in your relationship. Such destructive behavior definitely takes a toll on the receiver’s mental health.
So, if your partner gives you the silent treatment, he’s continually choosing to ignore you so that you are forced to overthink. Stonewalling is labeled as emotional abuse that many people ignore due to the love they have for their partner.
Lack of effort
One rule that every couple should follow is that both people have to put an equal amount of effort into their relationship. If there’s no effort, there won’t be any love.
At first, you may think that it’s not a big deal if your partner refuses to help you with your bags, or that he doesn’t send you a good morning text anymore. But if you forgive him for those little things, eventually he’ll get used to treating you that way.
After some time, your sense of self-worth and self-respect will decline and you’ll be unsatisfied in your relationship.
Don’t make any excuses for his lack of effort or attentiveness. Selfishness and only thinking about yourself is one of the biggest signs of disrespect.
There’s no need for you to remind him every day that you’re also a human being who has feelings and needs, and that they should matter to him too. If he doesn’t realize that his job is to make you happy and put a smile on that beautiful face every day, then he clearly doesn’t deserve you at all.
Being emotionally hurt by your partner over and over again
Does it seem as if your partner’s goal is to hurt your feelings as much as he possibly can? Do you feel unsafe in your relationship even though it wasn’t always like that?
If yes, then that’s a warning sign you’re in a toxic relationship.
When you decide to be in a romantic relationship with someone, you agree that you’ll both trust each other and respect each other’s opinion, no matter what. It’s not unusual to get hurt by your partner from time to time, but if it happens repeatedly, then you’re in big trouble.
Many women forget that name-calling, mockery, and accusations are all signs of disrespect in a relationship. You need to keep in mind that there’s a significant difference between constructive criticism and deliberately being hurt by your significant other.
Crossing each other’s boundaries
Every healthy and successful couple sets boundaries at the beginning of their relationship, and each partner hopes that the other will respect them. But that isn’t the case when you’re in a disrespectful relationship.
A toxic man will use any trick up his sleeve to test your limits and make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
If your partner has shared some intimate details about your life with others or he’s invading your personal space, then take these as signs that he doesn’t respect you enough.
The only way he should be able to cross your boundaries is with your permission. But we’re talking about disrespectful partners here – that concept is totally lost on them.
Gaslighting and dishonesty
Trust in your partner is key when you’re trying to build a future together. On the flip side, dishonesty can certainly destroy everything you’ve created and make you doubt whether he’s your soulmate.
There are different forms of lying. Even though not verbalizing the truth is the most common one, you can also lie without even saying a single word. Simply pretending that you’re satisfied and happy in your relationship is a type of dishonesty since you’re deliberately keeping things from your partner.
The consequence of not being honest with your significant other is that you’re unable to form any deeper connection with him. And even if you do, it will be based on you lying to him and such a relationship won’t last long.
Furthermore, gaslighting is another form of psychological manipulation that many narcissists in disguise use.
They want to keep you by their side for their selfish needs and make you question your own judgment and perception. There’s no doubt that you’ll feel anxious and confused if you’re wasting your precious time on a toxic boyfriend.
Lack of compromise
It’s impossible to see eye to eye on everything with your partner. After all, you’re basically two individuals who have their own sets of ideals and opinions, and are trying to make it work together.
So it’s inevitable that you guys will disagree and argue from time to time. But what makes a relationship successful is the fact that you’re willing to compromise with your partner.
Sometimes you’ll have to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, which is to be happy together with your other half.
Both partners should be willing to listen to each other’s desires and emotions and not just focus on themselves. Therefore, if your partner isn’t willing to compromise, that means he doesn’t care about your happiness.
You have to accept the fact that not all of your decisions and choices are going to be right. And the same applies to your partner. It’s possible to have different opinions and you both need to respect that.
Pressure to change yourself
Your flaws and quirks are what make you unique and different from the rest of us. And your boyfriend needs to understand that unconditional love means that you’re accepting each other’s imperfections.
If he loves you dearly and respects you, then he won’t try to change you in any way. He’ll love you for who you are.
Yes, there are always things that you can improve on yourself, but your boyfriend doesn’t have the right to pressure you to transform yourself completely. If he’s constantly pointing out all the little things that bother him, and telling you that you need to change them ASAP, then you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
Unfortunately, he’s so preoccupied with himself that he doesn’t realize he’s behaving like a complete idiot. He isn’t giving you enough space to be yourself.
Truthfully, a partner like this doesn’t respect your uniqueness and beauty at all. And if he’s trying to change anything about you, that’s a neon sign that he’s a selfish and immature guy who only thinks about himself.
What to do when you’re feeling disrespected in a relationship
If you want to build a future together, it’s crucial to be able to tell your partner whenever you’re feeling disrespected in the relationship. And the only way you can achieve that is by creating a healthy environment where you can be your true self and not have to worry if your partner will judge you.
So, here are the steps you should take if you’re feeling disrespected in a relationship:
1. Don’t jump to conclusions
The worst mistake you can make when feeling disrespected by your partner is to get ahead of yourself and jump to conclusions.
It’s quite possible that you’re misinterpreting things or that the emotions you’re going through are only temporary. Perhaps you’re exhausted and cranky from a rough day at work.
Tell me, have you considered the possibility that you said something to your boyfriend that might have upset him? You never know what may have happened before he came home to you and before you made the assumption that he doesn’t respect you.
Don’t be the type of girl who always blames her boyfriend for everything. Take your time to assess the situation before forming a conclusion.
2. Tell him the truth
Now comes the hard part – telling him how you’re feeling.
I understand that it might be difficult for you to express your feelings to him, but if he cares about you, then he’ll actively listen and try to give you an explanation for his behavior. After all, you’re carrying a heavy burden and you need to get it off your chest.
Ask him to sit down, then take a deep breath and let your heart speak. You’ve been waiting for this moment for quite some time and now you have the opportunity to say everything that’s been bothering you.
Remember that you’re feeling disrespected in your relationship. There’s no need to beat around the bush. Instead, be direct with him and see how he reacts to your honesty.
If you see his eyes wandering around and or if he stone-walls you, then you know your gut was right and he doesn’t respect you.
Mutual respect and listening to your other half is something that every couple should pursue to avoid feeling disrespected in the relationship.
3. Focus on yourself
Many couples will dedicate the majority of their time and energy to each other because they think that’s what’s needed to make their partner happy.
But just because you’re in a romantic relationship, doesn’t mean you should stop caring about yourself. It’s really important to take a little time for yourself if you feel disrespected by your partner.
Usually, we spend most of our free time with our significant other, while sacrificing the free time we should devote to ourselves.
If you’re unsure whether or not to continue your relationship because of how your boyfriend is treating you, your best option is to go somewhere where you can be alone for a few days. Focus on yourself, clear your mind, and maybe then you’ll see what changes you need to make in your life if you wish to regain control over it.
Do a bit of self-reflecting and accept things the way they are. If you realize that it’s not meant to be, then tell him that when you see each other again. After all, it’s better to be single than in a loveless relationship.
4. Ignore his behavior for a while
This step takes a lot of stamina and self-control on your end since it’s very difficult to ignore a boyfriend who’s being disrespectful toward you.
If your partner respects you, then he’ll notice the change in your behavior and will confront you about it. He’ll listen to what you have to say and will do anything he can to make you feel better about yourself.
On the other hand, your partner may keep on giving you a hard time and continue to throw around mean comments. In that case, you’ll confirm your suspicions about him and learn that he doesn’t have any respect for you.
As I mentioned earlier, it could also be that you’ve said or done something to him and that’s the reason you’re feeling disrespected in the relationship. The thing is, you won’t know if that’s true or not until you try avoiding these situations altogether.
5. Determine if it’s happening on a daily basis
Everything’s sweet and peachy the first couple of months of being in a relationship with someone. You try to show yourself in the best light possible and you get to know each other better the more you spend time together.
But the honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever. Eventually, you’ll face problems – it’s impossible to avoid them.
During those arguments, you may feel disrespected by your partner a couple of times. But that should stop once you solve your issues. On the other hand, if you feel as if your partner disrespects you on a daily basis with his words and actions, then that should be your cue to walk away from him.
6. Set boundaries
Maybe you and your partner like to mock each other a lot and being a little sarcastic is just how you two function.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. But it’s crucial to establish certain boundaries as to when those comments are fine and when it’s just borderline insulting. Not allowing your partner to cross those boundaries means you have enough self-respect.
Be honest and tell him how much you can handle and what you consider to be disrespectful behavior.
7. Don’t be afraid to say no
The only way your partner may disrespect you is if you give him an opportunity to do so. Ask yourself how many times you’ve done something for him even though you didn’t want to?
You need to learn to say no and not fulfill his every wish. Sometimes it’s better to take a breather and let your emotions settle down a bit before confronting him about the issues you’re having.
And if you still don’t feel good about yourself afterward, then talk to him and tell him what’s bothering you.
8. Don’t play along
Let’s be honest here. Sometimes you’re just not able to control your emotions and you end up playing your own little games just to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Usually, when a partner disrespects us, we feel the need to play along and hurt them the same way they hurt us.
But, my relationship advice to you is to turn the other cheek and then check if your boyfriend becomes aware of his behavior. Does he realize that his nasty comments and name-calling have mentally and emotionally injured you?
If he stays the same and doesn’t change in any way, then it’s better for you to let go of him.
9. Stand up for yourself
It’s very important to stand up for yourself in situations when you feel disrespected by your partner.
For instance, if you see that some of his personal habits are hurting you in any way, like drinking or gambling, then you need to be honest and open about it.
Every time you see a red flag, raise your voice. Don’t just allow him to continue to mistreat you. The longer you keep silent, the more he’ll think it’s okay to continue to treat you this way.
10. Walk away
I know you love him with all of your heart and you want the two of you to succeed, but sometimes it’s just not meant to be. And you need to accept that.
Gather your courage and leave him if he doesn’t stop with his disrespectful behavior. Your heart may be breaking into a million pieces and you’ll need some time before you fully heal, but keep in mind that you have to respect yourself first.
If you stay with him even after he’s done something bad to you, then he’ll never learn his lesson and you’ll keep feeling disrespected in the relationship. Remember that you teach people how they should treat you.
If you see that he refuses to make any effort to change, then it’s time for you to pack your things and find someone else who’ll appreciate you more.
After all, a man’s duty is to respect and protect his woman at all costs – not make her feel disrespected in the relationship.