Are you in a fake relationship?
Something in your relationship doesn’t feel right, but you can’t put your finger on it. There have been so many instances where you’ve felt like the words he’s telling you aren’t genuine.
You’re starting to wonder if your relationship is just an act. You want to believe that it’s true love, but just the fact that you’re here reading this says a lot about what you suspect in your relationship.
There are too many fake people out there, you really just don’t want your boyfriend to be one of them. You want a genuine love story, it doesn’t matter whether it’s long-distance or you’re able to spend every day together.
Your heart is craving real love and if he’s not able to give you that, then you’re just wasting your time.
In this article, we’ll talk about the definition of a fake relationship as well as the signs you need to look out for. Trust me, you’ll be better off knowing if his love is worth it or not.
What is a fake relationship?
Let’s start with the basics. What does this term even mean?
Essentially, a fake relationship exclusively exists as an act for other people. Your relationship seems happy, beautiful, and stable to everyone who’s looking.
Everyone tells you that you are the definition of “couple goals” because your boyfriend seems so head over heels for you. They wouldn’t understand even if you tried to explain to them that he’s not that perfect behind closed doors.
It could also be that one person in the relationship is trying to make others believe that they’re the perfect partner. For example, your boyfriend never says anything bad about you, even though you know he doesn’t treat you the same when you’re alone.
A fake relationship exists purely for the sake of others. Not for the sake of the people who are involved in the relationship.
Many people get into a fake relationship consensually. They do so to make their ex jealous or to get some sort of public reaction.
You’ve probably read books about this trope where the couple gets into this sort of arrangement for whatever reason. They start a relationship because they need a reason not to date someone else or have to convince their parents that they aren’t emotionless.
Either way, romance stories and reality are two completely different things.
When you didn’t consent to this type of relationship, you can just end up heartbroken. Your social media posts say that you’re the happiest couple in the world, but your entire being aches behind the scenes.
21 signs of a fake relationship
When you start to suspect that it’s everything but true love, the little voice of doubt doesn’t stay silent inside your brain. You’re constantly searching for the signs that this isn’t real.
All of those special moments you had with your partner will seem less significant the moment you start to look for signs of fake love. So, to make you feel a little bit better about this entire situation, let’s get straight to the point.
There are real signs that you can pick up on when you pay close enough attention. And if you don’t see these signs that your relationship is fake, it may still be lacking something else entirely.
However, some may recognize these signs yet still believe that their love is nothing less than genuine.
You should know that the lovey-dovey game that your partner is playing (if he’s playing it) could leave you broken and bruised if you’re not observant enough.
1. He cares about your looks a little too much
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you know that attraction is a crucial part of it. It should never be the most crucial, but it is important to both partners.
The problem starts when one of you cares about the appearance of the other a little too much. It’s not a real relationship when he’s always telling you to try harder when it comes to the way you look.
Your boyfriend uses weird excuses for his obsession. He says it’s because he wants you to always look your best. But instead of love and care, it usually ends up in a traumatizing fight.
He says that he refuses to go out with you if you don’t dress a certain way, and do your makeup and hair to his specifications. He wants you to always look your best as if you’re putting on a show for someone.
If he truly did love you, he wouldn’t do this to this extent. He wouldn’t want to change you just to put on an act for others. He’d love you for the woman you are and you’d always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him, regardless.
It’s a huge red flag if a guy critiques the way you look and wants to change you in any way. So, please be careful. This is a huge sign that your relationship may be fake.
2. You’ve become extremely insecure
In a real relationship, you feel secure. Your relationship works because you know that whatever happens, you can always count on your partner.
A partner who truly loves you does everything he can to make you feel comfortable and trust him. He’ll create an environment where you never have to doubt him or your relationship.
But in a fake relationship, he tries to change such huge parts of you, he doesn’t do anything to make you feel safe. As a result, you become very insecure.
You doubt every little thing you do. When you look into the mirror, you can see so many things that you should change about yourself.
The biggest sign that this is a fake relationship is when you know that you were never like this before you met him. You weren’t this insecure and you didn’t think that you’d care so much about the opinion of others.
But he made you so conscious of every little flaw, you’re even starting to change yourself because of him and his requests.
3. He doesn’t want to create a real bond with you
People create a bond with others in many different ways. There’s no universal way that we all create an intimate relationship with someone.
You may need quality time or words of affirmation. When you know the specific love language you use to feel loved and express your love, then you have to feed into that need. You won’t be able to create a real bond with him if you don’t have this need of yours met.
However, he doesn’t seem to care enough about creating this deep relationship with you. All he does care about is to have you around when he has to show you off to someone.
Whenever you ask him a question to get to know him better, he just shuts down and tells you that you’re too nosy. So after a while, you stopped asking him anything so you just let everything go.
A real relationship exists when both parties are trying their best to get to know each other and feel like a couple. But your relationship is a complete mess and you don’t feel connected to him at all anymore.
4. He’s very romantic (but only when it serves him)
One of the signs that you’re in a fake relationship is that you’re happiest when other people are around. That’s because he acts like the most perfect partner ever when others are looking.
He hugs you all the time, you’re always holding hands, he’s kissing you, and he even makes sure to involve you in every conversation.
When there are other people around you, you feel like he finally recognizes your presence. He even pays for meals, gives you flowers, and holds the door open for you.
When he first started doing this, you thought it was a little weird, but didn’t make much of it. After a while, it got weirder, but you held on to those moments because you weren’t sure if you’d ever get them again.
You’re aware that he’s doing it for the eyes of others, but that only makes it a bad relationship. A happy couple wouldn’t act this way. He wouldn’t be head over heels for you only when someone else is around, but also when you’re alone together.
You don’t want to make a big deal out of this, I understand, but you need to know that things won’t ever change unless you address them.
5. He can’t hold a conversation
In a fake relationship, your partner doesn’t care about having a conversation. It’s almost painful to talk to him because it’s like talking to a brick wall.
Talking with you when no one else is around simply doesn’t benefit him. He has no reason to keep up a conversation with you because it’s just a waste of his precious time.
So you end up being the only one talking. Whenever you strike up a conversation, you get zero replies or interest.
He doesn’t answer your questions or ask you about anything. It’s just a waste of energy to even try to talk to him.
You’re always the one initiating a conversation and after a while, you got the memo. You understand that you can’t get through to him however hard you may try.
That’s because his love for you isn’t real, you just serve as a means to a higher goal.
6. He’s only nice to you when someone else is around
When you’re in a fake relationship, your partner doesn’t care about how you feel when you two are alone together.
He only cares about the image you’ll leave behind when you’re in public. He wants others to know what an amazing boyfriend he is. That’s why he’ll be so nice to you when someone else is around.
It’s not just that he’ll do romantic things (like mentioned before), he’ll also ask you questions and keep up a conversation.
This is probably the only time he acknowledges your presence. He needs other people to see that the two of you are indeed a successful couple, so they won’t ask many questions.
Everyone will tell you how lucky you are to have a nice boyfriend like him. But you know the truth – that he’s not that sweet when you’re alone with him.
He doesn’t even care about you unless it benefits his higher purpose. That’s why he acts as if he’s so in love with you when eyes are watching.
7. He doesn’t want you involved in his life
He has a life of his own and he doesn’t seem to want you in it. He’s always occupied with his work, with his friends, and none of those things are brought home to you.
Whenever you ask him about something that’s going on in his life, he shuts down your question. He won’t tell you about anything important.
But once you find out about, let’s say, his work promotion, and you tell him that he should’ve told you before, he makes up some excuse about how he’s sure you already talked about it.
It’s hard to stay mad at someone who plays dumb in situations like that. However, real love doesn’t look anything like that.
This is a telltale sign your romantic relationship is nothing more than an act for the outside world. Because if it wasn’t, your partner would try his best to include you in his life.
8. He doesn’t think you should meet his family
A man who has feelings for you won’t be able to wait to introduce you to his parents. He’d want his friends and family to meet the amazing woman that he’s in love with.
But your guy isn’t doing that.
A fake relationship is always on the cusp of being found out. Someone is going to see right through his little charade and he won’t be able to deny it any longer.
And who knows him better than his family? If they saw the way he treats you in front of others, they’d know right away that something’s not right.
If he showed his act in front of his loved ones, he’d also be unable to get out of the situation. He’d be stuck with you because then it would be harder to break up with you.
But he wants to keep you around only for as long as he needs you. Isn’t that what a selfish man like that would look forward to?
Your fake relationship exists purely for his benefit and when something no longer benefits him, he won’t even try to work through it.
9. He doesn’t want to maintain a healthy relationship
All of us have our definition of a healthy relationship. Many things can affect our opinion of our relationship, but we always know when something is toxic for us.
He doesn’t even try in the first place. All he does is avoid conflicts and move on like nothing ever happened. You feel like he’s just going through the phase of infatuation right now.
You believe that he’ll get out of that phase soon enough and that things will become more stable, but he doesn’t care about that.
He goes from 0 to 100 in super speed. You get whiplash from his unstable moods.
In a healthy relationship, you know that you need communication, consistency, and understanding. He doesn’t provide you with any of those things. Whenever he tells you that he’ll change, all he does is play nice until you calm down. Then it’s back to his old ways.
Isn’t real love supposed to be stable?
10. He never puts his phone down when you’re alone
You always put your phone down when your boyfriend is around. And even when you do scroll, it’s only for a couple of minutes and then all of your attention is back on him.
In a fake relationship, this isn’t the case.
He’s always on his phone and it seems like his entire world revolves around it. He’s always texting his friends and making plans with them. Even if they have nothing to talk about, he still finds a reason to text them.
That’s everything but helpful for your relationship. You want to make things work, but he’s using his phone as a way to ignore you.
If you bring up the issue, he’ll use things you love against you. He’ll say that you’re doing the same thing to him, or something along those lines.
Gaslighting is a huge part of a non-consensual fake relationship because he needs to keep you compliant. So he’ll use every method in the book that he can find.
Because this fabricated relationship exists for one purpose only, you’ll know that it’s fake when your social media presence becomes very important to him.
You feel like he’s your manager. You’re always taking pics together and posting them on various apps.
Yes, many couples post their pictures everywhere. But they don’t put so much thought into them as your boyfriend does. He always wants to tag you in photos and wants to show the world that you’re together.
It feels like a marketing campaign at times, because you’re advertising your love and relationship.
This is one of those warning signs that are disguised as something good. Please don’t fall into this trap and don’t let him make you feel like you’re going crazy for being upset over this.
When your relationship looks perfect online but is toxic behind closed doors, that’s when you know things aren’t good.
12. There’s no talk about the future
You don’t need any relationship advice to know that plans are of huge importance for you and your romantic partner. If he truly cares, that is. If he doesn’t, then he won’t even try to talk about the future.
The most he’ll talk about the future with you is when you have plans to meet some friends. That’s when he’ll put things in your calendar, but besides that, he doesn’t bother about making any future plans with you.
Marriage and kids sound like a whole lot of gibberish to him. He refuses to even talk about moving in together.
The future is a blank canvas, and to turn it into a masterpiece, you need him to help you out. But this man is faking all of his affection because otherwise, he’d do everything in his power to create a future with you.
13. He’s rebounding
I’m sorry to tell you this, but rebound relationships are fake relationships, too.
You’re in big trouble if he got into a relationship with you right after he and his ex broke up. He doesn’t love you, he’s just confused, and you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.
When people get out of a relationship and the breakup was devastating, they tend to rebound to shut the pain out.
Nonetheless, it’s bad for everyone involved. He thinks that he’s making his ex jealous when in actuality he’s just confirming to her that she made the right choice.
But he’s with you only to make himself feel better about this entire situation. You’re the victim who’s going to exit this relationship a wreck.
He can’t experience real love or a real relationship so soon after his last one. He’s pretending – possibly without even knowing it.
14. You don’t spend any quality time together
Quality time looks different for everyone in romantic relationships. Some people use this time to go out and have dinner, others stay in and watch a movie.
Sometimes, quality time may even include something as simple as lying in bed and cuddling the entire day. That’s how a real and normal relationship works.
Quality time is crucial for every relationship because it’s the time you put your personal life aside and just focus on each other.
But that doesn’t benefit his plans. Being alone with you and spending so much time with you is nothing more than a bore to him. He’ll only do it when he knows that you may leave him if he doesn’t try harder.
There may be times where you think he cares because he gives a little bit of attention. But every fake relationship is known for its lack of time spent together.
And it’s not a good sign if you’re almost always surrounded by other people.
15. He never talks about your relationship problems with others
This can be an amazing thing. When you’re in a relationship with someone who won’t spill your issues to others, it shows you that he respects your boundaries.
But let’s be honest. We’ve all told our closest friends about the problems in our relationship. We have to have someone we can tell those things to and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Of course, you should never talk about highly personal things, but asking for advice is totally normal.
But he never does that.
His friends don’t even know that you broke up a couple of times or that you’re always fighting. In their eyes, you’re the perfect couple, and that in itself should be significant enough to let you know the truth.
He doesn’t want his friends to think that you have issues. All he wants is for them to see the perfect version of his relationship. That’s not okay because no relationship is perfect.
He’s doing this because this entire relationship is fake.
16. You’re changing to accommodate him
Real love is so pure. When someone loves you from the bottom of their heart, you feel understood. That’s when you know he loves you for the person you truly are.
However, you’re starting to change to accommodate him. You want him to feel understood. You want to show him that you’re the perfect woman for him. But that means that you’re changing the real you to make him feel good about this entire relationship.
You start to go out with your friends less, you dress like he wants you to, you may even indulge in his hobbies because you want to show him how interested you are in the things he finds important.
In a real relationship, you would never have to go to such extremes. But in a fake relationship, he just wants to get the most out of this entire situation. If that means turning you into a puppet for his own needs, then he’ll take it.
17. You’re the one making all the plans
You’re always the one who texts him first. You initiate everything in your relationship.
The only time he ever makes plans is when he needs something specific from you. This may include going out with him and his friends or being his plus one at work functions.
He needs you as jewelry on his hand. You’re a gorgeous woman who he can use to get to his goal. That goal could change each day, but he still only uses you for those instances.
You’re the one who initiates everything else. In a fake relationship, he doesn’t care about you or your needs, all he does care about is to get you to be obedient enough.
If he needs to take you out on a date once a month to keep you by his side, then he’ll do it. But it never feels like he wants to be there. Especially when you need to be the one who plans it all.
18. He’s never there for you
The most obvious sign of a fake relationship is the lack of emotional connection between partners. You think that you love him, but you can feel that you’re very distant from him.
You know that he doesn’t feel the same way about you, especially because he’s never there for you.
You’re the type of girl who’ll help her partner out whatever he may need. You go after him because you want to make him happy and be there for him. When he’s sick or when he’s sad, you’re his shoulder to cry on and the girl who helps him get back on his feet.
But he’s never there for you. He can’t bring himself to help you when you need him, nor does he understand why you ask him for help.
It’s sad to think about the man you love so much as of someone you can’t count on. He obviously couldn’t care less what happens to you.
If it were a real relationship, it would be beautiful for both of you.
19. He seems bored
In a fake relationship, there’s nothing you can do to make your partner fall in love with you. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, he simply won’t listen to you. He’ll just think that you’re trying too hard and that you’re annoying.
You’ll know that he’s bored with you by his body language. Someone who’s in love with you will hang on to your every word.
He doesn’t do that because he’s always annoyed with something you’re doing or saying. He makes faces while you’re talking, he sighs all the time, and you even catch him rolling his eyes.
Would someone who loves you behave that way? Or is this nothing more than a man playing a dangerous game that’ll bring you to your knees?
20. Your relationship is only about physical pleasure
How many times have you heard of a guy using a woman only for his pleasure? He takes her home and makes her his, just to get what he’s looking for.
He doesn’t care about you if the only time you feel close to him is when you sleep with him.
He’s not even trying to make you feel safe afterward. All he’s doing is trying hard to hide his true intentions. He’s faking all of his affection because he only wants one thing from you.
Intimacy is so much more than just what goes on in the bedroom, but he doesn’t seem to care. He’d much rather be in a fake relationship with you than tell you the truth.
21. You’re not even sure if you know the real him
Who is this man? The man you’re dating is faking his entire persona and you sometimes feel like you have no idea who he is.
Yes, you’d love to believe that he’s the man he says he is. You want to think that all of it is true.
But then someone else comes along and tells you things about him that you never even imagined. Of course, he didn’t even try to give you a heads up, he just didn’t tell you.
How much of that behavior can you keep up with? You’re in a relationship with a man who’s putting on an act for some ulterior motive. He’s keeping you around until he finds no need for you anymore and discards you.
Is this really the relationship you want to be in?
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