Every person has their own ups and downs. No matter how much we try to escape the painful experiences, behind every bad decision or mistake there’s a lesson to learn. And that’s particularly true when it comes to love and heartbreak.
Many people build up walls around themselves and don’t let anyone near them because they feel threatened by others, not knowing what their intentions are. It’s true that romantic feelings can have a profound impact on our lives, but that doesn’t mean you should block everyone out.
And let’s face it, romantic relationships have their highs and lows just like everything else in life. They can really give you the much-needed strength to succeed in something, but they can break your heart into a million pieces in seconds.
But that shouldn’t stop you from at least trying to give your heart to someone and going out there in search of your soulmate. Every cloud has a silver lining, you just have to be patient and wait for yours to appear on the horizon.
This applies to your ex as well. I understand that even hearing his name conjures up pain and bitterness in your heart, but as time passes, you’ll learn the lesson he brought into your life, and, in one way or another, you’ll thank him for it.
I’m not saying that you should be thankful that he left you when you needed him the most, but to be grateful for the experience he put you through because it’s made you the stronger and more resilient woman you are today.
You’ve become quite aware of your own personal growth based on the lessons he taught you, and whether those were intentional or not, it really doesn’t matter.
It’s tough to imagine anything good coming out of such a painful and confusing experience, but a lesson is there, you just have to look for it.
That’s why I’m here to share with you my story as I hope you recognize some of these things in your own case.
The first time I experienced heartbreak, I was devastated and unable to get a hold of my own life.
But as time healed those wounds, I realized that there are instances where other people hurt you without intent to do so.
It is actually very plausible and happens rather frequently – I just failed to see that because I was so consumed by hatred.
I’m not making any excuses for my ex or trying to justify his poor behavior, but sometimes it’s easier to understand what someone’s done to you when you try to see things from their perspective.
Not everyone thinks the same (thank God), which means that one person may end up being hurt over something that another person doesn’t find a big deal at all.
And this epiphany helped me grow into a more mature and considerate person who doesn’t judge the book by its cover but rather thinks hard before taking anything personally.
Also, I learned never to tolerate abuse. And by that, I don’t mean just physical abuse, but in all of its forms.
Most women make the mistake of thinking that there’s only one type of abuse and that is the physical one. But emotional and mental abuse is just damaging, if not sometimes more.
And these types of abuse have their own subcategories such as passive-aggressive behavior, gaslighting, restrictive behavior, and more.
No form of abuse should ever be tolerated and used as an excuse to stay with a man.
It’s a terrible experience knowing that the other person uses you for their own selfish purposes, but it helps you to learn how to stand up for yourself. You get to discover how strong you actually are.
I discovered that no one’s worth my sanity and I started to prioritize my own well-being over others. Nothing that constantly brings you down and makes you feel meaningless is worth it.
As soon as I realized that, my life took a turn for the better. And I would’ve never accomplished that if it wasn’t for my unfortunate ex.
Ex-boyfriends are nothing more than a reminder of how much you’ve actually grown.
Another thing that I learned from my exes is that you have to live your own life and not neglect your friends and family just because you found someone new.
At the end of the day, those are the people who’ll never hurt you intentionally and always have your best interests at heart.
The worst thing you can do is to invest all of your energy and time in a romantic relationship and become miserable in it for the same exact reason.
Don’t ever let your man restrict you from seeing your friends as they’re a crucial part of your overall happiness.
Also, don’t think that love is love if you can’t be who you are in it. You should never pretend that you’re something you’re not.
Instead, get back to yourself and embrace all of your flaws and quirks. And that’s exactly what I did.
You’re the only one responsible for your own healing and through that comes growth and personal development. In the end, all my failed relationships were just a reflection of who I was in that period of life.
We all deserve to love and be loved and that’s exactly what made me revisit my relationship with myself. Remember, with every new experience, you have the opportunity to learn more about yourself.
Because we tend to miss ourselves once we’re in a romantic relationship.
But the more aware you become of your own growth, the more thankful you’ll be for your life and all your exes you met along the way. They helped you grow to become the superwoman that you are today.