Loving someone is nothing more than a bargain.
I know what you must be thinking. What does that have to do with anything? Love is something so pure and beautiful.
It’s a bargain. Two people who fall in love with each other and then they look out for things that they can do to make the other one stay for longer.
What if one of them falls out of love? What if that someone has never had a hold on their emotions at all?
Then you’re the only one who is putting effort into that relationship.
You hold on to the possibility of them caring about you again, like they did some time ago.
I say that love is a bargain because you win some, you lose some.
However, it’s the worst feeling in the world when you know that the man you love so much doesn’t care about you.
He walks away when you need him the most, he looks at you like you’re a liability to him, and whatever you do never seems to make him love you.
So that’s when you start losing yourself.
You think that if you change just one more thing about yourself, things are going to be all right.
That’s when you start to text him less, because he says that you’re too clingy.
You don’t make a scene when he forgets to pick you up, because he says that you pick fights for no reason.
Every single time he commented about your make-up has been sealed in your mind and now you do it the way he likes it.
You remember how at one point, he made a fuss about your clothes. He said that they were too revealing even though you rationally knew they weren’t.
It was easier for you to let those things go and reinvent yourself than to think of the possibility that you might lose him.
You’re an empath and you can feel each little mood change of his. That’s why you’re so adamant about making him feel good.
You don’t want to fight with him, you don’t want to lose him, so you go for the next best thing and you change yourself.
Nonetheless, he just seems to take from you. His selfish ways have always been a mystery to you, because he would much rather see you cry yourself to sleep than accommodate your needs.
He doesn’t see your efforts, because he doesn’t care. He doesn’t keep up his side of the bargain and your only hope is that one day that will change.
Hope dies last, am I right?
One thing you need to realize is that you can’t make him care.
Men are not that hard to understand, especially not when you’re an empathetic human being.
Even if he keeps love-bombing you each time you confront him about his lack of interest.
Even when you beg him to make an effort in your relationship.
He doesn’t care.
You recognize and meet every single one of his needs, because you love him. Because you care about him.
But it has brought you into a long downward spiral because pleasing him doesn’t always satiate your need for approval.
This doesn’t happen just out of the goodness of your heart. This happens because you doubt yourself and your own worth.
You believe that you deserve to be treated like that.
You believe that this man will always be able to find someone better than you, and that you will never find someone better than him.
All of these thoughts, all of his words, hold a grip on your reality. You built everything around that without even realizing how bad it was.
You changed so much about yourself to fit into his reality, to make him care just a tiny bit more. But he doesn’t. He never does. He never will.
Don’t lose yourself holding on to someone who doesn’t care.
You can’t force him to care. You can’t make him realize your worth and then love you the way you deserve to be loved.
That’s something that he should have learned how to do a very long time ago. However, your only true mission in life is to be your authentic self.
You can’t change yourself to make someone care more about you, because if he cared in the first place, he wouldn’t ask that of you.
You should always speak your truth. There’s no reason in this world for you to be anything less than yourself.
Yes, it will make you vulnerable, yes, some people will walk out of your life. But isn’t it better if you’re yourself?
You should know that whenever someone walks away from you simply because you’re yourself, they don’t even deserve to be there.
If he isn’t able to love you fully, with all of your flaws and wrongdoings, then he isn’t the man for you.
He has his own faults too. He isn’t perfect, yet you still love him.
Whenever you asked him to change something minor about his behavior toward you, he would lash out at you, telling you that if you really loved him, he shouldn’t change.
You got past all of that and still forgot those same words when it came to changing yourself.
You lost yourself for a man who doesn’t care about you. Don’t let that ever happen again!
If the next man you meet doesn’t keep up his side of the bargain, then walk away.
There’s someone out there in this world who will love you unconditionally. He will make you feel like you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.
That man will love every single inch of you. He will love your quirky interests and your loud laugh.
His eyes will sparkle every single time you do something that is so authentically you.
That’s why you shouldn’t waste so much of your time accommodating someone who obviously doesn’t care.
You need to be true to yourself, because even though you doubt it, there’s still someone out there who won’t be able to get enough of you.