Here it is, one more fairy tale that ended badly… I never thought that our story would end in heartbreak, but I guess we don’t get to choose. I loved you with every fiber of my being, but it’s time to move on.
If you’re going through the same, please don’t let heartbreak convince you that you’re better off alone. Yes, you’ll need some time alone, I’m not going to deny that. You’ll have to collect enough strength to bounce back and live a “normal life.” But, believe me, this experience will be your blessing in disguise.
The whole process is going to be confusing and heart-wrenching at times, but you’re made for great things. You can survive these uncomfortable moments because you’re well aware that storms don’t last forever. And you can never forget to dance in the rain, right?
If it’ll make the whole process of collecting your pieces back together and making a beautiful entirety a little bit easier, I’ll share some reminders with you. I wrote them down when I was going through a heartbreak. Rewrite them on sticky notes and use them as daily affirmations.
Reminder #1: Heartbroken is not the proper adjective to describe yourself
Stop using this adjective to describe yourself. Also, forget about “broken,” “damaged,” “helpless,” “lost,” and any other word that has a negative connotation. You’re not your past experiences, your heartbreak doesn’t define you.
You’re so much more than what hurt you because you’ve grown stronger from each mishap. Yes, there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents. So what if you loved a douche? We all did at one point in our lives and if any of your galpals says differently, they’re lying.
Reminder #2: It takes time, so be patient
Be gentle with yourself. Treat your soul with kindness, the same as you treat others. Make sure you take steps towards your healing and don’t look back. Healing takes time, so be patient. Wounds won’t disappear, but you’ll learn how to live with them.
You won’t be able to easily wipe away the pain this heartbreak caused, but you’ll endure it. After all this mess, you’ll change because change is inevitable. Embrace it. Accept eagerly what life has to offer.
Reminder #3: You are strong and resilient
Nothing can destroy you.
Mistakes are an important part of our lives and if you look at this as one, you’ll realize it will help you grow. You’ll become a better version of yourself, you’ll learn to follow your dreams and goals, and you’ll be more determined.
Use this experience as a foundation to build yourself up. Keep walking through life with your head held high. Take risks, because you’ll be disappointed by all the things you didn’t do, rather than those you did wrong.
Reminder #4: Be present
How many times have you zoned out during a beautiful sunset or while you and your ex were chilling in the park? One too many to count? You have to learn to be present, to truly enjoy each moment while it lasts.
Let go of the past and future, and focus on everything around you right now. Only then will you be truly happy and be able to soak in the sheer beauty of the world. If you’re not sure how to do this, start by meditating. It will help you to be mindful and increase your level of awareness.
Reminder #5: Get ready to love again
Heartbreaks are inevitable when you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve, but that’s also a reminder that you’re capable of love. And isn’t that beautiful? To be able to love another human being without any expectations of getting something in return…
I’d say it’s a positive thing. Of course, it hurts like hell, but how minor is that pain compared to those beautiful emotions you felt while that relationship lasted? That’s what I’m talking about.
Reminder #6: Feel
Feel those feelings, whatever they may be. Anger, sadness, rage, even love, and confusion when they show up. Let it destroy you in the most gorgeous way, and then heal.
Feel the warm summer breeze on your face. Let the salty water of the ocean wash away those tears from your beautiful face. Inhale life and exhale pain. But let yourself feel it all. That’s the only way you’ll be able to heal properly.
Reminder #7: Be grateful
For everything that’s happened and everything yet to come, be grateful. Sometimes we’re so consumed in everyday life that we completely forget about the little things that bring us joy. We complain about the world not ending hunger problems, but are you grateful that you have food on your plate?
More often than not, we overlook the good things in our lives and instead focus on the bad. What if you could see those negative thoughts from a different angle? Would it be any different? Do you know how to appreciate everything life has given you? Learn to do that if you haven’t yet.
Reminder #8: Fight your fears
I know you may be afraid to love again, but fight that fear. The color red represents love and passion, you know that. So, put on that red dress at the back of your closet, find a proper shade of lipstick, and be passionate about life, your hobbies, anything. Just be passionate.
Hop on that stage and deliver that presentation, sing a song out loud for the first time, and do things that you’ve always been afraid to try. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and grow.
Reminder #9: Get up every morning with a smile on your face
High-five yourself in the mirror, because why not? Be your biggest support and conquer the world with your smile. Show those pearly whites to strangers passing by, and entertain kids while you’re waiting in the checkout line.
Choose to be happy and enjoy life to the fullest. I mean, hey, you never know who you’ll dazzle with that bright grin of yours. There’s a great guy out there, patiently waiting for you to cross his path. He’s going to love you to bits and there’ll be no place for doubt.
So, rise and shine, baby girl. Because, there is an oasis in a desert no matter how lifeless it seems, right?