Social restrictions can make us feel that being alone is the first sign that something is wrong with us.
Even strong, powerful women who choose to work on their career instead of finding a man have heard words of disbelief and disgust from others when they’ve said that they don’t want to be in a relationship.
The conventional belief set upon us is that true happiness can be found only in a relationship. Apparently, this is how it is and this is the way to go.
In order to save yourself from all of the hateful comments that nearly everyone expresses when they find out that you have no intention of finding a partner as other things are more important to you, a lot of women decide to be with anyone, just so they are not alone.
Being alone for a long period of time can make you feel pressured about your future, as it feels like everyone has a right to comment on your love life, which makes you feel sick on the inside.
All of their comments make you think harder about your choices.
You are aware of the way our society works, and as a human being, you conform to its standards.
When you are constantly faced with opinions like this, you decide to become like them. “If you can’t beat them, join them,” right?
Overthinking makes you feel scared of what will happen to you as time passes.
You start to think that you are never going to find anyone and that it’s too late to be happy.
All these thoughts are going through your head, and as your anxiety rises, you feel a terrible need to escape from everything.
But you can’t as this is your life and you need to deal with it.
Then you make a decision that sounds like the best option.
To avoid the potential loneliness you are severely scared of, being in any kind of relationship becomes better than not being in a relationship at all.
Then this happens…
You find a guy and you two start going out.
Deep down, you know that this relationship is not sincere and that its job is to fill in the blank space in your life.
He will be the bond between you and a society that shunned you as you didn’t fit into a box.
You realize a few things about the relationship. When you two are together, you don’t feel happy or satisfied with your choice.
It’s like he is some kind of a human without a personality, someone who drains your energy and will to express yourself.
You don’t know anything about him, and to be honest, you don’t even want to.
To be fully involved with him would mean that you care and honestly, you don’t.
When he speaks, you feel like your soul is absent from your body. You don’t listen to his words, you only hear them!
Communication between you is shallow and boring, and you are overly excited when he shuts up so you can start talking.
Not because you want him to know something about you, but only because you are bored and tired of his voice.
Whenever he does something that goes against your beliefs or values, you make excuses. Why? Because you don’t care!
It doesn’t matter what his beliefs are as you know that you two could never stay together for a long period of time.
He is not husband material but instead ‘break-this-loneliness’ material.
You never call him to share any big news with him as he is not on your list of important people who matter to you.
Even when you two engage in some kind of conversation, it feels dry and shallow.
Nothing he says makes sense, and you even ask yourself, “What is he talking about?”
Your hobbies don’t match; his taste in music is a horror story; your vision of life is completely different; his jokes are horrific and the sound that he makes when he laughs is sickening.
None of the things he says match the opinions you hold.
You want to change him so badly but then you remember that he is just a pit stop and that you two could never last.
Why would you work on someone when the only reason to call him is to cure your boredom? It wouldn’t make any sense.
So, you decide not to do anything.
Days pass, and one night, sitting alone in your apartment, you ask yourself, “What am I doing?”
If this question popped up in your head, then you are on the way to change.
If you never thought about it, I’ll confront you with the terrible reality of the destruction you are doing to yourself.
Being with someone just because you are afraid to be lonely due to popular beliefs of society is the worst thing you could do to yourself, your personality, or your mental health.
Think about it! Do you really want to waste your time and energy on something that doesn’t feel right?
You quit that job that made you feel uninspired but you are voluntarily going out with a guy who doesn’t make you feel butterflies in your stomach.
This needs to stop now, and you need to remember that you shouldn’t be with someone just because you are afraid to be lonely!
It is time for you to focus on yourself! You are the main character in your life and only you can save yourself from anything.
You don’t need anyone who will be there temporarily and who will make you tired or bored with life. You need you!
‘You‘ who will take care of yourself, who will grow and nourish all of the parts that are hidden deep down on the inside.
You need the love that only you can give to yourself!
A relationship isn’t the only thing that can give you happiness. You are in control, and only you can decide what is good or bad for yourself.
Ignore society’s rules and restrictions that are put upon you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fit their standards.
The only thing that is important is that your well-being should be your number one priority.
Appreciate your solitude and make it a comfortable place suitable for the growth and improvement of yourself as a person.
Who cares what others are saying? They are not the ones who will be with you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
It is you who went through all of your battles and who led a million wars.
You are the reason you are here today so appreciate yourself enough to know that you don’t need to be with someone just because society makes you feel like you should.
Once you learn to love yourself, you won’t let anyone not worthy enough enter your life as you will know your value.
Being alone will help you set the bar for all of your next relationships, and it will make you understand what is good or bad for you.
One day, you will be thinking about that time you chased people and spent time with them just so you were not alone, and you will laugh at that person.
By this point, you will be a strong, independent being who knows your worth and who doesn’t care about social restrictions or expectations.
The right person will come and you will feel that he is the one. Until then, you be you!
Love, and appreciate yourself, as you are the main character in the book you’re writing.