Do you know that I’m still hoping, even though so much time has passed?
It’s the hope that the day will come when you’ll explain to me why you left.
I know I’m acting stupid because I should just leave our love in the past and try to move on.
However, that seems like the hardest thing I ever had to do.
I thought our love would last forever, so how do you let go of something like that?
How do you let go of someone you loved so deeply with everything you have?
I tried writing you this letter God knows how many times, but it was too hard since I was all over the place. I was still in love with you.
However, I also felt angry because it was so easy for you to walk away from me and move on.
I couldn’t believe how easy it was for you because it’s so hard for me to let go.
Now, I still feel angry; not at you but at myself. How can I love someone who wasn’t mine in the first place, who left me without saying goodbye?
You lied to me, so, above all, I feel like you betrayed me.
Didn’t you always say that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me? I believed that you would do anything, but there was only one thing you needed to do…
You needed to love me as much as I loved you… And you couldn’t do that.
I felt miserable, and I’m still sad because of it. Sad is an understatement, but that feeling can’t be explained with words.
Do you now understand everything you did? Did you realize the consequences it had on me?
You left a scar on my broken heart.
Did you ever really love me? If you did, you wouldn’t have left me like that and made me feel so much pain.
I was even scared. It made me worry about my mental health because you leaving was something I just wasn’t capable of coping with.
That scar you left on my heart made me so afraid. I was afraid that when I found another man, he would do the same thing as you and be just as bad.
As a matter of fact, I didn’t want anyone to replace you and fill the empty place in my heart that you left when you walked away.
I thought that no one but you should ever get near me.
You left me confused, and I couldn’t even realize what had happened because it didn’t make sense to me.
Wasn’t everything going great? I thought so, but then you broke me and left me like none of it ever meant anything to you…
Like I never meant anything to you…
All you left me with was a feeling of insecurity, which I can’t shake off even now after all this time.
Was I ever enough for you? Did I rush you into having a relationship that you didn’t even want?
Those questions used to haunt me and lead to even worse thoughts…
I thought that I would never be loved selflessly, the way I loved you…
Will I ever find someone who will love me the way I loved you? I asked myself that and feared the answer.
However, time heals all wounds, and it healed mine so I know that I will one day find the love that I deserve when I’m ready for it.
Therefore, I want to thank you for leaving me.
I have seen that the world won’t stop when a man walks always, and I’m ready to say goodbye to you.
I’m ready to go out there and start a new chapter of my life. So many amazing things are out there, waiting for me to discover them.
There will be a man who will want my love and be ready for it. He’s a man who will want to spoil me and shower me with affection.
I will encourage him to make all of his dreams come true and become the best possible version of himself.
He will do the same for me, so my dreams will come true as well.
He is someone who isn’t scared of commitment and doesn’t fear love.
It is my fault that I gave you the love you weren’t ready for, and you didn’t deserve to get all of me.
However, I didn’t know how to love you any less than with my whole heart but you weren’t ready to return the favor.
Maybe I pushed you away or scared you with my actions but I know that you didn’t fake your way through our relationship.
Love can’t be faked, and you didn’t pretend to love me, so what changed?
I’m asking you, but I don’t really want to hear the answer to that. I am scared of your answer because you might say that I rushed you.
Maybe I forced you into a serious relationship when you weren’t ready for my love.
I want to believe that you simply weren’t ready for a happily ever after.
However, do the reasons matter now? It doesn’t even matter who’s to blame.
Were you the running type or did I chase you away? Even that doesn’t matter anymore.
The only things that matter are the lessons I learned from all of it…
I learned about relationships, men and letting go of things that aren’t meant to be.
However, the most important lesson I learned is that I need to value myself a lot more.
Now I can clearly see the new life I get to have after I close our chapter.
I thought that we had a never-ending story, but it was just a chapter, and it’s time for me to start a new one.
What about you? Well, you left me, so I’ll leave you in the past where you belong.
It’s time to embrace the bright future that’s ahead of me.
I wish you good luck with your life, and it’s time to say goodbye forever.
Goodbye.
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