Dealing with disrespect in a relationship isn’t always the easiest thing to do. You love this person – you love him more than anything and anyone you’ve ever loved.
So why does it feel so awful?
When we’re disrespected by someone we love, we tend to forget about it or swallow it. More often than not, we’ll endure the humiliation. Not because the red flag doesn’t affect us, but because we’re afraid of losing that someone.
But at one point you have to decide who you love more: yourself or him.
Being with a disrespectful partner is anything but easy. You have to swallow your pride and everything you are to please him.
You’re doing everything in your power to make him happy and show him that he’s loved and appreciated. So when he goes out of his way to hurt you, it’s the worst pain ever.
There are many signs of disrespect and you’ve probably caught up to them over time. You see it in his eyes before he even says a thing.
Let’s be honest. We all know how it feels like to be respected and disrespected. And we all deal with these issues differently.
However, some ways guarantee you’ll finally be respected by this man. Even if it means that you have to leave and make him realize how worthy you are.
So don’t be scared and let’s start slow.
How does disrespect affect a relationship?
We shouldn’t beat around the bush, so let’s get straight to the point.
When you face disrespect in your relationship, it can destroy you from the inside out.
You start to doubt yourself and depend on your partner to do the basic things for you.
You can’t grow that attached to someone to the point where you forget your own worth. But that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
When he disrespects you, what he’s actually doing is hurting you, devaluing you, and making you believe that you, your needs, and your opinions are worthless.
When you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship, the one thing that’ll happen is that you’ll lose yourself to it.
You might even be able to stay in the relationship, no matter how much he’s disrespecting you.
That same lack of respect from his side will influence your mental health to the point where you’ll lose every ounce of energy.
So how does disrespect affect a relationship?
It becomes everything but a healthy relationship and it leads you to huge self-esteem issues. Without mutual respect, a relationship can’t exist.
You will never be happy as long as your partner doesn’t respect you.
Dealing with disrespect in a relationship
You have to create a game plan when you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship.
You have to be able to guard your heart against this man and his antics.
Everyone craves respect in their relationships. Especially in romantic ones.
Why are we so accepting when someone disrespects us?
You’ll meet many narcissists in your life and every single one of them will try to make you feel worthless.
You’ve been suspecting that your partner is one as well. So how do you deal with it?
How do you deal with disrespect in a relationship once and for all? Don’t worry, there are ways that’ll help you deal with this.
You might convince your partner to change or you might have to leave. Either way, you have to put yourself above him and anyone else.
Because no one has the right to disrespect you. Ever.
1. Don’t jump to conclusions
There are many possible reasons why he’s been disrespectful toward you on a few occasions.
If you’ve found him disrespecting you once or twice, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship.
No.
He could have had a bad day at work and didn’t know how else to react when you started nagging him the very second he came home.
Another possibility is that someone was being disrespectful toward him and you just added fuel to the fire. That led him to act the way he did.
I know that there is no actual excuse for him to act that way. Nothing in this world should make you lash out at your partner.
But sometimes, some situations simply lead to that. So don’t just jump to conclusions!
Try talking with him about it. Who knows, he may even sincerely apologize and promise to never do it again.
2. Communicate things with him
When your partner is being disrespectful toward you, he’s probably not even aware of it.
The first thing you should do is try to talk things through with him.
Tell him about every time he’s been disrespectful toward you, about every time he’s been rude to you.
Tell him how it makes you feel and that it really makes you doubt your relationship.
Don’t just wait for him to realize his mistakes – he can’t read your mind. You have to tell him what he did wrong and make him promise that he won’t do it again.
If you’ve tried talking to him already, make sure that this time you’re in full control of the situation. Tell him that you need to speak with him, find a quiet place, and take initiative.
Don’t let him interrupt you. Hold on to your self-respect and show him that he can’t disrespect you anymore.
3. Ask why he’s being disrespectful
When you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship, you might want to look for the reason behind his actions.
There is probably something going on that doesn’t let him see clearly. So he’s acting out and taking it out on you.
There are hard times in everyone’s life, but sometimes, to have a happy relationship, you have to look past the actions and for the reasons.
Maybe you’ve said something that set him off? There might have been something that happened in his past that’s causing a trigger reaction.
When you look at things from a psychological standpoint, there is always something in our past that makes us act a certain way today.
There might have been a family member that never respected him enough, so he thought that disrespectful relationships were the only ones out there.
Don’t forget to ask this question if you want to understand your partner a little bit better.
4. Ask him to change his behavior
No one should be stuck in an abusive relationship. If you think that disrespect is anything less than emotional abuse, then you’re mistaken.
Make sure he understands it and demand change.
You have the right to ask him to change his behavior. If he claims that’s just how he is as a person, then tell him that you won’t tolerate it.
You’ll leave if he doesn’t decide to change.
Explain to him how and why he’s harming you and your relationship. If he isn’t able to change by himself, then try negotiating therapy.
Just don’t stay if his behavior will stay the same.
5. Don’t expect the change, though
This one is probably extremely hard for you to come to terms with. When you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship, you can’t really expect him to change.
People are who they are. It doesn’t matter how important you are to them, you can’t make them change if they don’t want to.
It’s ultimately his decision. If he wants to change, he’ll do it for you as well as for himself.
However, sometimes people don’t know how. They don’t know how to live without that part of themselves.
What you have to understand is that you’re the only person you can control in this entire world. You can’t change anyone but yourself.
It’ll be easier for you to deal with this situation if you realize that you can’t make him change just because you love him.
If you can’t handle who he is and if he continues to be this disrespectful, you should truly walk away instead of waiting in vain for him to change.
6. Don’t ignore his disrespectful behavior
When you want to solve an issue like this, the last thing you want to do is ignore him and his behavior.
You want to talk about these things and show him that it’s not alright to be disrespectful.
You might have laughed once when he was name-calling you and he thought that you found it funny, even though it was just your coping mechanism.
Another time, when he said something about you in front of his friends, you kept quiet and it made him believe that you didn’t mind when he said those things.
It’s really not that hard to guess that men don’t interpret things the same way women do.
So the next time he’s being disrespectful, don’t indulge him. Make him know it’s not okay, even if that means giving him the silent treatment. Believe me, at least he’ll come up to you to ask what’s going on.
That’ll be the perfect moment for you to talk about these things.
7. Take time away from him
When you’re in a serious relationship or marriage, you might find it hard to spend time apart from your partner.
It can easily develop into a codependent and toxic relationship.
You’d be surprised how many relationship and marriage problems can be solved by just spending some time apart.
You are still an individual person, so in order for you to think clearly, you have to think with your own head.
There won’t be much time for you to soul-search when he’s around you all the time. Especially if he continues being disrespectful.
However, when you decide to take some time for yourself and go somewhere alone, you’ll have time and space to think things through – as well as give him time to think for himself.
8. Don’t indulge him
Don’t give in to his plan to make you mad. When you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship, you can’t just play along.
When he’s being disrespectful toward you, don’t bite back with your own response.
For example, he’ll start calling you names and you just do the same thing and call him names.
When you’re out with friends and he starts being disrespectful, don’t play along. Don’t just pretend like that’s something normal you two do all the time.
It’s not normal and you shouldn’t pretend like it is, even to defend yourself when there are others around you.
You can’t expect him to act differently if you’re not any better than him.
You have to set an example. Instead of indulging him, make him see that you’re aware of your own self-worth.
And whatever you do, when you want to tell him off, don’t be disrespectful.
9. Create healthy boundaries
You should create boundaries with everyone in your life. From your best friend to your partner, everyone should know their place.
You don’t have to be a relationship expert in order to realize that you have to sit down with your partner and set some boundaries.
Sure, there will be times where you’ll banter and throw around sarcastic remarks, and that is completely fine if that’s how you two function.
However, the boundaries you set have to ensure no one is being disrespectful toward the other, even when you’re joking around.
Make sure you both understand how much you can handle and how much is just… too much.
10. Learn to say NO
Women are taught to be extremely compliant, which leaves us vulnerable.
We forget that we have the right to say no and demand that someone treats us the way we deserve to be treated.
It’s sad when you think how many women have been forced to do things they weren’t comfortable with.
Just saying no to your partner might not be enough to make him stop disrespecting you, but at least you gave him a warning.
You’ll walk away from him the very moment you realize that he doesn’t hear what you’re saying.
So is he really worthy of you if he doesn’t listen to what you’re telling him?
You have to understand that no means no, so if he chooses to ignore you to this point, then you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship. That definitely shouldn’t be happening.
11. Stand up for yourself
No one is going to stand up for you if you don’t stand up for yourself. You can’t sit around and wait for someone to come to your rescue.
When you see that your partner is being disrespectful toward you, don’t just take it. Tell him how much it hurts you and get downright mad.
For example, your partner posts a photo on social media that you told him you didn’t like. He did it just to spite you and you know it.
So instead of going to him and throwing a tantrum or ignoring the issue, go ahead, sit him down and get mad.
No one is allowed to disrespect you in any way.
He knew you’d get angry and that you don’t like it when he goes against your wishes like that. But he did it anyway.
So don’t just wait for him to realize what he did wrong! Stand up for yourself.
12. Ask yourself if it’s worth the fight
Sometimes, we fight endless fights. There are battles that don’t need our involvement, but we’re still stuck in them.
So what happens when you’re fighting an endless war with your disrespectful boyfriend?
You show respect, you show gratitude, but nothing makes him change his ways.
If that’s truly the case, you will have to consider if this relationship is really worth the fight. If he’s being extremely disrespectful to you, I suppose you could just as well walk away from him and never look back.
You’re obviously hoping that he’ll change. He’ll only change if he wants to.
There might be signs here and there that he’s really trying hard. He’s trying to stay away from saying anything that might set you off and he’s going to therapy to stop his need.
When you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship, you’re left to wonder: How long will it last?
You have to make a decision whether it’s worth it. Is he trying? Or is he just saying that he is without actually changing anything about his behavior?
If you’re just waiting around for him, it’s not worth it. He’s not worth it. There is someone out there who will respect you like his equal (because you are).
13. Walk away when you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship
Sometimes, it’s too much to handle and he’s just not worth all those tears.
Every single time he opens his mouth you feel like you might burst out into sobs. So why would you want to stay with someone like him?
I’m so sorry that there’s no other solution to this issue. I’m so sorry that you have to endure this in the first place.
But one thing is crystal clear: You have to walk away from him.
You have to leave him in order to understand what it’s really like to be in a happy and healthy relationship. And this right now is everything but that.
You teach people how to treat you, so if you choose to stay and endure his behavior, then you’re disrespecting yourself.
If you stay while he continues to act like this, the only thing he’ll learn is that it’s okay to not respect you. You’ll teach him that it’s fine to treat you like trash.
You don’t have to endure than from anyone. Not even friends and family.
So leave. There is someone out there who will know that respecting you is his biggest priority. He’ll know that treating you right isn’t an option but a necessity.
That’s the type of man you deserve – a gent who adores you, not some guy who thinks that it’s okay to treat you with disrespect.
14. Don’t give him a second chance
Will you stick with this one? Who knows?
You might as well stay by his side if you’re going to give him a second chance, because you won’t learn your lesson otherwise.
How many times does a man have to disrespect you for you to realize that you have to leave him in order to be happy?
You can’t give him another chance.
When you leave him, when you walk away from him, you have to promise that you won’t look back anymore.
You’ve given him more chances than he deserves. You warned him that you would leave if he didn’t change – and he didn’t.
He stayed the same. So he lost you.
This man was fine with losing you and you’re still thinking about giving him a second chance? You’re so much better than that.
15. Learn to love yourself
When you’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship, your self-esteem and self-love are constantly under attack.
That wouldn’t have happened to you if you loved yourself enough to demand respect from a man.
When he sees that you’re vulnerable and breakable, he’ll disrespect you simply because he can.
That’s why you have to learn to love yourself.
Do anything and everything you need to do in order to learn how to do this. It won’t be easy, because his words will echo in your mind from time to time.
I’m extremely sorry you had to go through this. The man didn’t deserve you and you just have to realize that yourself and start your journey to loving yourself.
The next time his words echo inside your mind, shut them out and let them back in. He made you believe that you’re worthless, now show him just how worthy you truly are.
16. Don’t let it happen ever again
You’ve seen the awful things that people go through when they’re dealing with disrespect in a relationship.
So once you’ve convinced your current partner to stop disrespecting you, don’t let it happen again.
And if you’ve left him, if you’ve decided to walk away from him, then make sure that in your next relationship you’re respected.
Don’t even settle for someone who isn’t able to see the difference between a joke and being blatantly disrespectful.
Tell the next person that you fall in love with that disrespect is a dealbreaker for you. If he truly loves you, he’ll understand and you’ll never have to worry about it again.
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