Are you interested in dating a single dad? Dating a man with kids has its pros and cons, and we’re going to cover all of them.
The first thing I need to tell you is that I, myself, am in a relationship with a single father so I’m familiar with all the problems that come with dating a single dad.
You need patience when dating a single dad, and it’s essential for you to read this article to see what you’re getting into.
Dating a single dad has its many benefits, but it’s not for everyone so you have to be aware of the problems of dating a single dad.
Single fathers come with kids so if you’re not ready to accept that, it’s better to quit before you get too involved.
In my experience, getting an instant family was a blessing, and I love those kids as if they were my own.
Still, that doesn’t mean that dating a single dad is always easy and simple. You need patience when dating a single dad because you’re not getting into a relationship with just the father but with his kids as well.
I’ll give you all the tips you need for dating a single dad, but it’s crucial that you first find out all the pros and cons so that you can decide if this is for you.
You’ll learn how to date a single dad, and this article will serve you as the ultimate guide when it comes to dating one.
There are a lot of things you need to be aware of before you get involved but if you love kids, it won’t be hard for you to learn how to date a single dad.
Truth be told, I remember asking myself if I was really ready to become someone’s stepmother. That’s not the way I pictured myself, but now I can’t imagine my life without those amazing little rascals.
Are you ready for all the rules of dating a single dad?
Let’s first look at all the pros and cons of dating a man with kids, so that you can see if this is the right choice for you. You’ll find all the tips for dating a single dad afterward.
Dating a single dad
The cons of dating a single dad:
1. Everything is a little more serious
Are you tired of dating men who are immature and always want to rush things? Well, dating a single dad is entirely different from what you’re used to, so it could make you happier with your love life.
Dads aren’t immature jerks who are scared of commitment and run away as soon as things get serious. Instead, they know that slow and steady wins the race.
Everything is more serious when you’re dating a single father. After all, a father can’t think only of himself but has to consider his children as well and he will have a more measured approach than carefree and footloose single men who don’t have to think about children.
This is a real grown-up man we’re talking about, who has responsibilities and can’t rush into anything.
It’s really refreshing to finally date a man who is serious and mature so if you’re tired of dating boys and want to give a real man a chance, this might be the guy for you.
He isn’t one who will go out, get drunk, and ignore your messages, but a man you can have serious conversations about the future with. Still, I count this as a con, because you might not want things to always be so serious.
2. Children are part of the deal
Here’s another thing that could also be a pro, but it depends on you. It needs to be crystal clear to you that the kids are part of the deal.
As I said earlier, when you’re getting into a relationship with a father, you’re also getting into a relationship with his children. Single dads come with kids, and you have to love the whole package.
It could be great for you if you have always wanted and love children, or if you are a single parent too. Single moms work well with single dads, and the kids can play together, so you end up being one big family!
Still, I have to count this as a con because there are a lot of things that come with having children. You will need to become flexible when it comes to approaching topics such as chill time, sleeping over, and the way you get to know each other.
If you want to have a long-term relationship with a man who is a father, you’ll need to nurture your relationships with his kids. He will guide you and be your best ally when it comes to getting the kids to like you.
To me, getting to know his kids was a little scary because I was afraid that they might not like me but it turned out I had nothing to be afraid of because the kids loved me, and we got along great pretty fast.
I count this as a con, though, because it’s not for everyone, and if you’re not a big fan of kids, this might not be the relationship for you.
If you love him and his kids, however, you’ll see that it’s not too hard to be flexible, and you’ll get used to it sooner than you think.
3. His ex will forever be a part of his life
Let’s get to the biggest downside that you won’t like even if you’re crazy about his kids. It’s the fact that those kids have a mother, and she will forever be a part of their dad’s life.
Every person brings some baggage into a relationship, but this type of baggage might be too much for you to take. Since his ex is the mother of his children, he has to keep cooperating and communicating with her… which is not the type of baggage you’re used to.
Still, don’t think of her as a threat to you. Once, they were romantically involved, and they have children, which is a fact that has created a bond they’ll always share.
It could be challenging for you to keep your jealousy and insecurity in check, but you’ll have to accept that the children have a mother.
It’s very likely that his ex won’t try to interfere in your relationship, but will you be able to handle the fact that she’s a part of your boyfriend’s life?
Let me tell you what worked for me and how I got over that. I tried to hold on to the one thing the three of us have in common; his ex, him and me, we all want what’s best for the children.
That is something that is much more important and greater than any insecurities I might have.
4. Plans may change, and you’ll need to be flexible
This is something all parents are well aware of, but it could be hard for you to accept if you’re not a parent yourself. It’s the fact that plans often change and get out of the parent’s control.
Single dads are all up for making plans, but they always have to consider their children… who often surprise them, so they have to change plans.
For instance, he can never know when his kid might feel sick, and it might be at a sleepover when you made plans to have some alone time. So, he’ll have to rush to get his kid, and your romantic plans will be canceled.
Women who don’t have children of their own can find this hard to deal with, and so did I.
I love those kids, but I also need alone time with him, and when those plans get ruined, I’m always reminded that I’m not the priority. That can be hard to take, even if you’re full of understanding and not too selfish.
Still, it’s not like you won’t be able to make any plans, it’s just that you might not be able to follow through with all of them.
It’s not that hard once you get used to it, so it’s just something that bothered me in the beginning.
Later on, I adapted, adjusted, and became more flexible, and I know how much he appreciates that. So, if you want to know what a single dad wants from a woman, it’s for her to be able to adapt and adjust to a moving target.
5. You will never be his number one priority
Truth be told, the thing that really bothered me about making plans was actually this con I’m going to talk about now.
Even when the dad in question falls madly in love with you, you’ll have to accept that you’ll never be the number one priority to him. He is a dad, and his kids will always come first, no matter what.
That’s how things should be, but it can be hard for the girlfriend of a dad, who would like to be his top priority. He is a single dad, and that means that his kids are dependent on him, and he’s committed to caring for his children.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that he won’t be able to love you wholeheartedly, but just that there are already others who think of him as theirs. So, he will never be able to just drop everything and go on a romantic weekend getaway, because he needs to read a bedtime story to that special someone.
It’s not just the two of you, and it never will be. You’re a family now, and you need to learn how to enjoy all the great things that come with it, without feeling sad that you don’t get to have some other things.
I made the decision to be completely honest with you in this article, so I have to tell you that this won’t be easy at first.
You’ll sometimes wish you could have him all to yourself and dream about that romantic weekend getaway you never get to have. Still, once you see him reading a bedtime story to his kids, you’ll see what you’re getting in return; you might not get the alone time you dream of, but you get a family.
You get to see that you have chosen a man who is a great and loving father and you can’t put a price on that.
Later on, you’ll even feel guilty for trying to compete with his kids for his attention because they deserve to have all of it.
6. He won’t be able to spend a lot of time with you
A single dad has a busy lifestyle, so you’ll often feel like dating on a deadline. You’ll grab a coffee instead of having a long romantic date, and have a quiet catch up call once he has read bedtime stories.
It can be tough, I won’t lie to you. If you have never dated a single dad before and don’t have kids of your own, it will take time for you to get used to it.
In the beginning, when you just started dating and haven’t yet become a family, you’ll feel left out and wish he would have more time for you. Still, once you become a part of the family, you’ll read those bedtime stories together and enjoy spending time with his kids and him.
The pros of dating a single dad:
1. He knows that the world doesn’t revolve around him
Are you tired of dating guys who think that the world revolves around them and aren’t aware of the needs of others? Well, then, you’re in for a treat!
A single father has gained wisdom and realized that the world doesn’t revolve around him. He is aware of the needs of others and knows how to take care of them.
You’ll soon notice that he is even more patient than you are! He also has a special talent, and it’s that he can tell what you need even before you know it yourself.
2. He is very responsible
Are you also tired of irresponsible men? Single dads know the true definition of responsibility.
His priority isn’t just to have a great time. You’ll be impressed by his capacity to plan a budget and a schedule, as well as to think ahead.
Parenting actually teaches you partnering, because what’s the point of being with someone who is irresponsible, and only wants to have a good time?
3. He has no time to waste
Single fathers aren’t interested in wasting their time so if he puts effort into showing up, you can be sure that he’s serious about you.
He isn’t interested in playing games or wasting time on dead-end dates. If he has made time to be with you, you can be certain that he likes you a lot.
There aren’t any games in this sort of relationship, except for the ones you play with the kids.
4. He has emotional intelligence
Isn’t emotional intelligence actually more important than intellect in a relationship?
He has a special skill set of perception and sensitivity, which creates a depth of understanding that you’ve never seen before so the communication that you’ll have with this man will be really special.
5. Love multiplies when it divides
When you get to love this man, you get to love his children as well.
Don’t they say the more, the merrier? Having to share the love that you feel with him and his kids will be a special experience you’ll never forget.
Just imagine the first time his kids tell you that they love you. You’ll feel like you’ve achieved the greatest accomplishment of your life.
6. He knows his way around the kitchen
Haven’t you always dreamed of being with a man who is capable of cooking a decent meal that is also healthy? And he does so without complaining about it!
When a man can cook, it makes him even more attractive. Single dads are used to cooking, and they do so with ease.
How to date a single dad
1. Be flexible, understanding and supportive
The first rule in dating a single father is that you need to be supportive.
He might have a lot of time to spend with you while his kids are with their mother… or he might have to juggle a busy schedule.
Either way, it’s important for you to be understanding and flexible when it comes to plans changing.
If you want your relationship to work, you’ll have to understand that there are times when he isn’t available.
He is showing you that he is responsible so if that commitment to his kids bothers you, maybe this isn’t the relationship for you.
2. Don’t try to replace their mother
You need to approach with caution and sensitivity when there are kids involved. Meet the kids and try to get along with them, but don’t try to be their new mother.
The best advice I can give you is to just be yourself. Show interest in their lives, engage with them, and allow them to guide you.
They’ll show you the level of intimacy that they would like to share with you, and you need to respect that.
3. Be aware that his ex is a part of his life
As I said earlier, it’s very likely that his ex will be involved, and it’s only natural since they have kids together. You’ll need to learn to deal with it if you want for this relationship to succeed.
They have to keep communicating, and you can’t be jealous of that but what you can do is talk to him about how uncomfortable that makes you feel.
You can agree that he’ll be transparent about his interactions with his ex, so you will know that you can trust him.
It’s not like I get along with my partner’s ex, but I realize that she’s the mother of his kids and only that.
4. Get to know him as more than just a dad
You’ll need to realize that he’s not just a dad, but much more than that.
Being a dad is the biggest part of his life, but it’s not the only one so get to know him for who he is, an individual who isn’t just a father but considerably more than that.
5. Let him do things at his own pace
Don’t pressure him into committing. He knows the pace that works best for his family and him, so you shouldn’t pressure him.
It won’t be easy for him to introduce you to his children, make dates, commit, and get serious.
After all, he has to think of his children first so he won’t get you involved with them unless he’s certain that the two of you will have something meaningful.
He will do these things on his own terms, and you need to respect that.
6. Be comfortable with his need for space
He had a system long before you came along, so try not to disturb it too much.
Maybe he has set aside specific times when he’ll be with his children… or maybe he isn’t available on the weekends.
Change is never easy, so try to understand him and to be comfortable with his need for space. After all, when he can’t be with you, it isn’t because he isn’t interested, but because he has responsibilities.
7. Don’t get too involved too soon
It’s not a good idea to give your heart to a single father too soon, especially if he got divorced recently.
Maybe he’s full of anger and guilt, so you might get hurt. If he is still dealing with a divorce and everything that comes with it, give him time.
He might be a great partner, but he probably needs to sort out some issues first. It’s crucial that you communicate openly with him, but don’t pressure him if he isn’t ready.
All in all, dating a single father can be really rewarding and fun, but all of you will have to adjust.
Enjoy getting to know each other, stay open-minded, give it some time, and see if this is the right relationship for you.
As for my boyfriend, it seems to be the best decision I ever made!