Finally, you have landed a date with the guy you like. He takes you on a perfect date, says the right words, opens the door for you, you are on cloud nine.
You cannot believe that you hit the jackpot, but you know you deserve it.
He is loving, caring, affectionate. He fulfills every need of yours, and every dream that you have could finally come true.
However, when it comes to relationships and dating in general, a lot of us tend to accept certain behavior that we actually shouldn’t.
Some of them may be a disguise and turn out to be a huge red flag. Sometimes, a certain behavior disguises itself as sweet and thoughtful.
Have you ever thought that the man you are dating is actually a controlling and manipulative person?
Those gestures that you have seen in so many movies, those gestures you are taught to appreciate, could actually be covering some potentially devastating flaws.
Trust issues, deception, and the desire to control can be hidden behind actions that seem perfect at the time.
A facade that will eventually reveal itself in its true colors as you spend more time together.
After a while, you become vulnerable with each other. Before you even know it, your emotions become involved and you become attached to your partner.
You finally awaken to the obvious signs of an unhealthy reality of your relationship.
Often, women tend to ignore those signs or they just won’t admit to them.
Everyone is seeking true, real love.
However, if you settle for certain behavior, that is actually a huge red flag, and it could emotionally destroy you after some time.
If you dig a little deeper under the surface, you will find major red flags that you should be aware of.
There are signs that could signal problems in the future.
You have to separate romantic from manipulative, alarming, and creepy. If you don’t do that, then honey, you have got yourself into a bit of a pickle.
1. He wants to see you all the time
I know what you’re thinking, this is a weird one.
A perfect relationship should be a relationship where you cannot get bored with each other, and you have the need to see each other all the time, right?
Let me tell you, it is not ideal.
There is no point in having a partner who cannot spend time with you and there is no point in having a partner who spends to much time with you.
However, do you want a partner with whom you feel like he is suffocating you, taking up every moment of your life?
When someone says, “I just can’t get enough of you,” it seems flattering, because let’s face it, you are awesome to be around.
However, if he wants to spend time with you even though you have made it clear that you need to work or want to take a night for yourself, be cautious.
A partner who wants more quality time together can become a toxic and unhealthy partner.
This is especially if you find yourself feeling guilty after you rejected him several times because you needed time for yourself.
Anyhow, the reasons for such behavior could be different. Maybe he is needy or possessive or obsessive.
You should not settle for a partner who feels insecure about your feelings for him.
You should be able to see other people, your friends and family, and spend time with them. Be aware, such behavior from him is a huge red flag.
2. He overshares things on the first date
Your date is going great. You talk non-stop and he reveals some things from his past.
You immediately feel connected to him, particularly when he talks about his family and friends.
He is showing you that he is not afraid of letting you into his life.
However, be aware of if the conversation shifts and he starts talking about his past relationships.
It’s okay if the topic comes naturally to him without him forcing it. Maybe he shares a story of him and his ex visiting a place.
That’s okay. The problem arises when he rambles about his past relationships or he starts bad-mouthing his exes.
Being clear with your emotions is a crucial part of wanting to date someone new.
You need to be emotionally detached from your ex and ready to give yourself to someone else.
If he talks about the above-mentioned things, be aware that he may not be ready to start a new relationship. Maybe he is still attached to his ex.
3. He puts you on an absurd pedestal
It is hard to recognize what could be classified as a red flag and what is a romantic compliment.
It seems rather romantic when your partner puts you on a pedestal, so it is hard to distinguish whether he is being manipulative at all.
Everyone wants to hear how perfect they are. Those flattering compliments that you receive from him make him even more attractive to you.
Be careful. There a thin line between a partner who supports you and a partner who holds you on an impossible pedestal.
Remember that no one is perfect.
You have your flaws and that is okay. Your partner has them too and that is the beauty of a relationship, to find someone who can accept your flaws.
However, if a partner thinks otherwise and if he puts you under a lot of pressure to meet his expectations, that should be considered a huge red flag.
Putting someone under huge stress will give them anxiety.
If your partner constantly says he wants a girl to have this and that, trust me, you should reconsider dating him.
It is much better to have a partner who loves all your flaws and weaknesses, than a partner who expects you to look your best every single time that you meet.
4. He is being overprotective
Being in a relationship means having your partner’s back no matter what. You have agreed to support and protect each other.
That is your duty, it goes without saying.
However, there is a difference between having someone’s back and having someone who just controls you under the guise of being overprotective.
Another major flag is when your partner is being overprotective of you.
A couple should have each other’s back, but taking it to extremes is another major red flag.
More times than not, this has to do with control rather than affection.
If you recognize this trait in your partner then I’m sorry to say but he is not the right one for you.
It could also mean that he is being too jealous.
If he says, “I love you too much and I cannot imagine you with anyone else!” it may sound sweet at first, but believe me, it’s a disguise.
Jealousy and control could be real threats to the relationship.
5. He professes his love for you early on
There are two types of men.
Those who express their love and say, “I’m into you,” after six months of dating, and those who announce it very quickly and confidently after a few dates.
How you interpret it depends on how he says it.
If a man says, “I love you,” or, “I cannot imagine my life without you,” after a couple of weeks of dating, then you should take a step back and think about it.
It is normal to feel infatuated very quickly if you are into someone. However, that doesn’t mean you should say nonsensical things like this.
Most psychologists will agree that this type of behavior is common among controlling and abusive partners.
Despite confessing their love for you, they actually don’t know you or your flaws yet and they are not aware of that.
Instead of being caring and loving, this type of man will become aggressive and cold after you deviate from their perfect perception of you.
6. He has your future together planned out
Well, this is an interesting one.
It is common for couples who know each other well to plan out their future together and make a conscious decision to take things to the next level.
It is fairly reasonable to make that decision since it is important that both of you are on the same page.
However, if you have been seeing someone for just a few weeks and he starts to tell you how many kids you will have, where you will live, or how your wedding will look, then it is a major red flag.
In that case, you want to take a step back and re-evaluate your decision to date him. It can be scary for you, for sure.
A piece of advice for you is to date a guy for four seasons and then plan something bigger with him.
By bigger, I don’t necessarily mean plan your wedding. It’s important not to be governed by emotions, but rather by logic and reason.
The solution would be to take time and see if you are comfortable with that person.
It’s okay to fantasize about a life with someone, but it’s a different thing to say those plans on the second date.