Conscious relationships could end up being a new relationship type in the modern dating world.
Once you realize that waiting for the right one is only a passive way of creating a romantic relationship, conscious love begins to sound like a better option.
We’re taught the way relationships should look. They’re supposed to sweep you off your feet and make you climb out of your comfort zone.
They’re supposed to be full of love, communication, and support, and the spark that ignites them should never stop burning.
But the truth is, relationships usually don’t end up being this magical.
Instead of safe and secure love, you only get the burning one that, at one point, gets snuffed out.
The feeling of aliveness in a relationship is replaced with a fear of loss.
So, your movie-inspired relationship turns out to be only a dream while the reality is much different.
Romantic relationships are no longer our idea of perfection. Instead, we see them as full of bad feelings, cheating, and leaving when things get too hard.
Relationships have become a place where two people become one. It’s like you knock at the door of love and leave everything you are in front of them.
You and your partner shape yourselves into one person that could fulfil the needs of both of you, and you move through life leading a mediocre life.
This is seen as a healthy relationship as long as you’re willing to communicate your issues and appreciate your partner.
But sometimes, it means that you’re sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of others.
It’s like your only sense of purpose becomes you making your partner happy and vice versa.
But what if we take things to the next level?
What happens when we introduce a new concept into the world of dating? What if we put a twist on the idea of intimate relationships?
Could conscious relationships save all of our love-related problems or are we asking for too much?
What is a conscious relationship?
A conscious relationship is based on mindfulness and intentionality.
There’s a purpose behind it and it’s the idea to achieve both personal and collective growth through a relationship.
A conscious relationship isn’t about finding Prince Charming and letting him show you what love is supposed to look like.
Instead, it’s about knowing what you want from a relationship, and working toward the goal to achieve that.
It’s not about letting your partner work for you. Instead, both of you are supposed to co-create a relationship where both sides are happy.
The two of you, as a conscious couple, need to achieve personal growth, which then leads to collective growth.
It’s not about compromising and doing things only because your partner likes them.
A conscious relationship is about independence and empowerment, all wrapped up in loving kindness.
You know what you want from a relationship, you have your standards and you don’t want to settle for just anyone. The same applies to your partner.
Once you know what you want the outcome of the relationship to look like, both of you will work on the goal by improving yourselves and achieving personal growth.
Together, you make the relationship work and you let each other create your own lives by constantly providing support.
How to achieve a conscious relationship?
To be honest, there isn’t a guide on how to create a conscious relationship.
No one can tell you to do a certain this-and-that and then you’ll find yourself in a happy and healthy conscious relationship.
Instead, conscious relationships are individual and they differ from couple to couple.
They’re based upon individual personal growth – and it’s obvious that each of us wants different things in life.
That’s why there isn’t a recipe that could work the same way for each couple. There are no rules that could apply to everyone.
But if you want to know how to achieve a conscious relationship, you should get ready to give a lot of time and energy to it in order to make it work.
Things are no longer about waiting for someone to find you. Instead, you need to get to know yourself first in order to meet your conscious partner.
You need to get ready to fully understand what is it that you want from a relationship if you want it to work.
Conscious relationships are special in a way because we could honestly say that they’re not the same as romantic relationships.
They have some qualities that are different from the standards that we’re used to.
7 Qualities of Conscious Relationships
All relationships have their qualities and it’s all based upon the preferences and dispositions of the couples.
One couple may want completely different things from a relationship than the other, and that’s okay.
We all seek things that work for us personally.
But if you feel that the typical romantic relationship – one where you’re spending your life waiting for someone – doesn’t work for you, then a conscious relationship might be a solution to your problem.
It’s built upon different standards than a typical romantic relationship.
It requires more work and that’s why it may not be the preferred choice for many couples.
But for some, it will be a dream come true as it unites all of their dreams and wishes.
Conscious relationships have specific qualities that are different from the ones we are taught about.
Let’s see what they are.
1. Each partner is responsible for their own game
Conscious relationships are all about knowing your limitations and admitting what you can do better.
They’re not about letting the other person do all of the work.
Instead, you’ll have to work your way through it too if you want the relationship to succeed.
That’s why it’s important to know yourself well and to know both your good and bad sides.
You need to be aware of everything you’re bringing into the relationship.
Conscious relationships aren’t about defensiveness and always trying to convince your partner that it’s them who need to change.
Instead, both of you need to be aware of all the things, skills, and behaviors that you could improve upon to make the relationship better for both of you.
That’s why conscious relationships aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. They require work. They push you past the limitations that you’re used to.
It’s not about sitting and waiting for a miracle to happen while constantly feeling unhappy in your relationship.
It’s about admitting that you’re part of the problem and that you need to make a move.
In a conscious relationship, you’re the one in control. You’re responsible for your own game – your past, your behavior, your ability to work together with your partner.
Instead of waiting for change, you work to fix all those parts that need fixing.
For example, if you know that you’ve been bad with communicating your feelings in previous relationships, you’ll now consciously work on that and try to rectify it.
Same with your partner. He’ll work on those parts of himself that need to be taken care of.
There are no blame-games and no waiting for others to fix your problems. That’s your own job.
Another thing that’s specific to conscious relationships is that you need to be aware of everything you want from a relationship.
You’ll have to be clear with yourself and admit that maybe what society wants isn’t actually your idea of a relationship.
And once you understand that, you’ll have to work with it.
Also, conscious relationships are about not letting your needs fall down on the priority list.
When you know what you want, you’ll make that happen for you.
You’re your own leader and you need to take care of yourself. You’ll know your priorities, and you’ll never let them be replaced by someone else’s.
In a conscious relationship, each partner fulfills their own needs, without waiting for the other person to jump in.
2. Growth is the central idea
Conscious relationships are not built upon the idea of a perfect romantic love that needs to be found somewhere down the line.
Instead, conscious couples build everything around the central idea of growth.
They believe love disappears once you stop growing and working on yourself.
Your well-being suffers and as a result, people around you start to feel the consequences thereof.
That’s why it’s important to never stop growing but always work on yourself.
If you get yourself to a place where you’re doing things to please your partner, you’ll start to feel like you’re in a cage.
You’ll become unhappy, which of course will make your relationship unhappy too. Everything you do reflects on the things around you.
But when you’re in a conscious relationship, you never stop working on yourself.
You’ll resolve all of the issues that you had in previous relationships without feeling bad about yourself.
Plus, you’ll have a partner who’ll support you through this as he’ll be doing the same thing.
This type of relationship isn’t about wanting to feel safe and secure all the time. It’s also about growth and change that should never stop.
Once it stops, the spark of your relationship dies and your relationship begins to suffer.
But the amazing thing about a conscious relationship is that you’ll never feel like you’re struggling to make a change.
If you’re in a healthy relationship like this, it’ll all come naturally.
You’ll always feel like you’re doing the right thing!
3. Partners empower each other
Conscious relationships are all about making your partner feel empowered and letting them know that there isn’t anything that they can’t do.
It’s easy to fall into the temptation of helping your partner every time you see them start to struggle with something.
But by doing this, you’re not doing them a favor.
Instead, you’re letting your partner know that you’ll always do things for them, which means that they’ll never grow capable of doing it on their own.
Sometimes, we have to do things on our own no matter how hard it seems. It’s the thing that helps you move through life and evolve as a person.
With conscious relationships, partners always try to make each other feel empowered.
They give each other strength in times of need and let the other person know that they can do anything they set their minds to.
Of course, if you ask for help, your partner will give it to you.
But if they see that you don’t want to do it and are just waiting for your partner to step in and do it for you, the only thing you’ll get is the wind at your back.
It’s healthier to empower your partner than to do something for them.
Otherwise, it may seem that you’re helping them when in reality you’re only letting them be stuck in the same place.
We need to do some things on our own and that’s what conscious relationships are about.
4. You appreciate each other and are always there for each other
The thing that tears a relationship apart is when you start to move away from each other.
When you simply feel that your partner isn’t there for you and things start to fall apart.
That’s why conscious relationships pay close attention to always being present in a relationship.
Whenever the two of you are spending time together, that time needs to be well spent.
No distractions that will make you physically there but mentally somewhere else. It’s all about the quality time spent together.
Besides being there, conscious relationships also pay a lot of attention to appreciating each other.
Everything feels better when you’re in a relationship with a partner who always shows you that they appreciate you.
You’re never left wondering if you could’ve done something better as your partner always shows appreciation for the things you do.
Once the appreciation is there, you’ll get a feeling that everything you do is valued.
This makes you feel better about yourself, which positively projects onto the relationship.
Being there for your partner and showing appreciation can transform every relationship into something amazing.
As long as you’re willing to work, you can turn your relationship into the best thing ever.
5. You never lose yourself in the relationship
Conscious relationships are focused on two people who keep their autonomy inside the relationship.
Even though you think that it’s completely normal to be your own self in a relationship, the truth is that many couples unknowingly let the other person shape them.
A lot of the time, it seems like individuals turn into one person. “I” becomes “we” and you forget who you were before the relationship.
You sacrifice your dreams and wishes for the “common good” and over time, you have no idea what happened to you.
It feels that by choosing to be in a relationship, you’re automatically choosing to lose everything you were before it. And that’s a huge deal.
You may think that by compromising, you’re doing yourself a favor. But at one point you and your partner won’t be able to take it anymore and your relationship will crack.
That’s why a conscious relationship focuses deeply on yourselves as individuals in a relationship.
It nurtures your dreams, wishes, and opinions, and never lets you sacrifice any of those for something you don’t like but sounds like a “better” choice for you as a couple.
It may sound impossible to achieve autonomy in a relationship that focuses on two people, but when you know what you’re doing, it’s not hard to get there.
You’ll never be able to lose yourself in a relationship when you know your goals, boundaries, and interests.
At the same time, you have to respect those of your partner.
Always ask for things you want and never try to be smaller than you are.
Also, listen to what your partner wants and be aware that you differ in some ways.
By doing that, you’ll be able to achieve autonomy and never lose yourself in a relationship.
Always strive for the things that make you happy and never forget who you are. Just because you’re in a relationship, it shouldn’t feel like you’re losing a part of yourself that was there before you met your partner.
All of us are unique human beings who should never let relationships make us feel that we need to change and fit better into the mold.
You need to create your own mold and no one should change it for you.
6. You’re not fantasizing about the happy-ever-after
Truth be told, when we find ourselves in a relationship, we tend to turn it into a fairy-tale.
We daydream about all of the things that could grow out of it as we’ve seen in movies. But the reality is far from it.
Fantasizing about the happy-ever-after only creates an unhealthy feeling in a relationship where you feel that things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be.
You and your partner will never be like those couples from those romantic movies. And that’s completely okay.
That’s why conscious relationships don’t pay attention to things like that.
They’re not about finding the right one and feeling like you could live from the love that envelops you.
Instead, they’re about experiences and everything that happens through that relationship.
And even if it fails, there will always be some things that you’ve learned from it and that’s all that matters.
Conscious couples don’t expect their partners to behave according to certain preconceived standards and rules.
They don’t want to turn a relationship into a place where you’re not allowed to be who you are.
Instead, they push each other to be the best versions of themselves without worrying about what will happen next.
Conscious relationships aren’t about fantasizing about the happy-ever-after.
Instead, they’re about experiencing life with someone who appreciates you the way you are.
7. You practice love and you’re not afraid of mistakes
There are no rules in love and relationships. No one can tell you to “do this and you’ll have the relationship of your dreams.”
That’s not how things work.
Instead, you live and learn. And you fall. Many times.
But that’s all a part of the process and it all shapes you into the person you are.
That’s why conscious relationships believe in practicing love and not being afraid of the mistakes as they’re bound to happen.
Love is not a picture-perfect destination. It doesn’t go as smoothly as we’re taught.
Instead, it’s a journey on which you’ll go through many things. Sometimes you’ll sink and sometimes you’ll swim.
But all those experiences will make you learn something new and that’s what counts.
The point of relationships is to move and evolve. If you end up feeling stuck in time and place, you’ll never feel happy with your final destination.
That’s why in conscious relationships, couples don’t care about the standards of love that society puts upon them.
They create their own love story and even though it may be different from other love stories, it’s theirs and they’re proud of it.
Love should be all about trying and finally finding something that works for you.
You can’t play by the rules of others and expect to be happy. Instead, you need to try and fail in order to find your own ideal recipe for love.
Not everyone will agree with you, but that’s fine. You’re not supposed to agree with everyone.
To wrap things up…
Conscious relationships take a lot of effort, but once you understand how they work, you have high chances of ending up in a healthy relationship.
The central idea is to grow and experience your own life with the support of your partner.
As long as you have an intention to build a conscious relationship that will make both partners happy, you’re golden.
It probably won’t be easy as it takes some time to first figure out what you want from a relationship.
But once you find yourself in a place where you’re appreciated the way you are, it’ll all be worth it.
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